Slowlydrifting Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 Dated a guy for a little over a year and then I found out he had an alcoholic relapse. He "broke up" with me the day he went to treatment, which he checked out of the same night. This was about 5 months ago. I am cold and selfish I guess, but I lost all trust when this happened. We always said we would be friends if anything happened between us. I'm holding up my end of the bargain but he is not. I want him to get better and he just wants to get back together. It's really not in the cards. Am I fooling myself by thinking I can be his friend because I truly do care about him? Things were not right with our relationship for a few months before the "break up" so I think I got through the grieving process much quicker than he is. Do I cut ties? Which I hate to do but I am getting to a better place right now and don't want to sacrifice myself for any toxicity. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Gaeta Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 You absolutely YES cut your ties and move on with your life. There is nothing selfish about this. He is an alcoholic therefore unable to participate in a healthy relationship. You do not need to be his friends because you said so in the past. You realize it's not going to be a rewarding friendship and will only bring you headaches and heartaches. Wish him well and move on. 1
Author Slowlydrifting Posted September 15, 2017 Author Posted September 15, 2017 You absolutely YES cut your ties and move on with your life. There is nothing selfish about this. He is an alcoholic therefore unable to participate in a healthy relationship. You do not need to be his friends because you said so in the past. You realize it's not going to be a rewarding friendship and will only bring you headaches and heartaches. Wish him well and move on. This makes me so sad. Really. But he is trying way to hard to be more than friends and I know he needs to focus on himself. I came home tonight to flowers on my doorstep. I know he is incredibly vulnerable that is why I am scared to cut the cord. Ughhhh
Gaeta Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 This makes me so sad. Really. But he is trying way to hard to be more than friends and I know he needs to focus on himself. I came home tonight to flowers on my doorstep. I know he is incredibly vulnerable that is why I am scared to cut the cord. Ughhhh If you have dated him for a year then you must know his best friend? or a close family member? Reach to one of them and tell them you are breaking up with him and you are worried he may do something stupid, then end things with him. You need to look out for yourself. You may have a lot of affection toward him but you know the negative outway by far the positive. Maybe later down the road you are meant to re-connect but not for now. 1
Author Slowlydrifting Posted September 15, 2017 Author Posted September 15, 2017 If you have dated him for a year then you must know his best friend? or a close family member? Reach to one of them and tell them you are breaking up with him and you are worried he may do something stupid, then end things with him. You need to look out for yourself. You may have a lot of affection toward him but you know the negative outway by far the positive. Maybe later down the road you are meant to re-connect but not for now. I actually do NOT know anyone on a personal level except one relative that set us up. They are ALL aware of what happened and were fully engaged but I feel they have fallen on the wayside. Is it my responsibility? This is where I have the issue. He was able to do this without anyone knowing until it got so bad he needed to go to the hospital. Deep down I know it is beyond my control but still I have that nagging feeling...
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