Mjm1014 Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 (edited) Would you do it? I need some input here, thanks! Met a girl about a month ago and have seen her a handful of times. At the end of the first date she told me she's in the middle of a divorce and can't file for 3 more months then it will take another 3 months for it to be official since she moved away from him to a different state (some kind of state regulations)..she said it's been over for a long time though and he had multiple affairs while with her/he ended up with a kid with someone else, she would never go back to him and that he was mentally abusive. Since then I've tried to keep things slow..despite this, she's head over heals with me and told me she doesn't want to take it slow because she can't wait forever to meet someone. She texts me a million times a day to the point I can't even keep up, she's telling me she wants me to meet all her friends this weekend (only went out 3 times in the past month), and just seems to coming onto me very strong to the point it's almost making me uncomfortable. Even after the 2nd date she was telling everyone about me and acting like we were already in a relationship..She told me the other night she's always been the type to jump from one relationship to the other and that's just who she is. Basically with her coming on so heavy so quick, I'm worried I'm possibly a rebound and even though she may not even realize it..it just seems so forced. If she wasn't in the middle of a divorce, maybe I would look at things differently, but it's just a situation that I'm having trouble coming to grips with. One day I'm like, it's cool, the next day, I wonder what I'm getting myself into. I've been through a lot over the years, and am also trying to look out for myself. Even others don't think it's a good idea until she is officially single. She's extremely nice, attractive, and has an awesome job though, and seems very close to her family so idk, very confused what I should do..Thoughts? Edited September 15, 2017 by Mjm1014
smackie9 Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 That's baggage you don't want to get involved with......run away as fast as you can.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 She's rebounding. Some people are divorcing but have mentally been checked out of the marriage for a long time and thus have an easier time moving on. However, you yourself said this feels very forced and too fast. She told you she jumps into relationships. There are a lot of red flags here. I would abort mission. She's diving in head-first for the wrong reasons.
Zahara Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 All sorts of red flags. And I am not sure why none of these are flying high enough for you to take notice and step away. I mean she's telling you she jumps from one relationship to another and you are asking if you are a rebound? You need to wake up. 1. She's still detaching from this man. Chances are she is no way ready to have a relationship. 2. She was in an abusive relationship. Chances are she's emotionally dysfunctional herself and has nothing to offer you right now as she has not even given herself anytime to heal and recover from those wounds. 3. You've known each other for a month and a handful of dates and she's head over heels. Red flag. 4. She doesn't want to take it slow because she can't wait forever to meet someone. Red flag. 5. She texts me a million times a day to the point I can't even keep up. Clingy and needy - Red Flag. 6. After the 2nd date she was already acting like you both are in a relationship. Eager to secure her next opportunity. Red Flag. 7. She told me the other night she's always been the type to jump from one relationship to the other and that's just who she is. HUGE RED FLAG.
Mike B. Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 This is a very textbook story of a newly divorced or impending divorced woman. We all know how this will proceed. Personally, I used to like to just say "screw it" sometimes and head into dating situations that I know won't end up favorable just for the excitement and short burst of fun but I have an unusually thick skin. I hope you have one as well if you are considering dating a woman who is currenty in the divorce process because you will most certainly need it. Good luck.
uncorked Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 Yikes! Agree with OPs here, way too many red flags. Even if she wasn't going through a divorce, this type of behavior -- incessant texting, acting as if you're already in a relationship -- makes me think she's a little psycho. Unless you like that type. :-)
coolheadal Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 Would you do it? I need some input here, thanks! Met a girl about a month ago and have seen her a handful of times. At the end of the first date she told me she's in the middle of a divorce and can't file for 3 more months then it will take another 3 months for it to be official since she moved away from him to a different state (some kind of state regulations)..she said it's been over for a long time though and he had multiple affairs while with her/he ended up with a kid with someone else, she would never go back to him and that he was mentally abusive. Since then I've tried to keep things slow..despite this, she's head over heals with me and told me she doesn't want to take it slow because she can't wait forever to meet someone. She texts me a million times a day to the point I can't even keep up, she's telling me she wants me to meet all her friends this weekend (only went out 3 times in the past month), and just seems to coming onto me very strong to the point it's almost making me uncomfortable. Even after the 2nd date she was telling everyone about me and acting like we were already in a relationship..She told me the other night she's always been the type to jump from one relationship to the other and that's just who she is. Basically with her coming on so heavy so quick, I'm worried I'm possibly a rebound and even though she may not even realize it..it just seems so forced. If she wasn't in the middle of a divorce, maybe I would look at things differently, but it's just a situation that I'm having trouble coming to grips with. One day I'm like, it's cool, the next day, I wonder what I'm getting myself into. I've been through a lot over the years, and am also trying to look out for myself. Even others don't think it's a good idea until she is officially single. She's extremely nice, attractive, and has an awesome job though, and seems very close to her family so idk, very confused what I should do..Thoughts? Yes I've tried it and won't do it again. Way to much trouble. The so call woman still legally married to the husband who will turn up at some point in time and confront you with is BS lies about her. I had another one who was going through one but she lied about certain things with me she wasn't who I thought she was.. Hey you want to try it go find out for yourself you'll be that close to her until she's divorce from the husband. If kids are involved it's even worst.
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