soyou Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 I had 2 dates with a guy. We both agreed on our 1st date we're looking for somebody special. Both dates we slept together. I dont have any regret or feel bad about it. It just happened naturally. After the first date, he expressed to see me again and did make effort to see me. After 2nd date, he still texted me and checked me out as usual. But the curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to know if he really liked me (besides the sex). In our last conversion 2 days ago, he texted me about his day and work. I decided to not reply back. Based on my past experience, if a guy likes me enough, he would chase me or try to reach out to me again. 2 days have passed. I dont hear anything from him again. A part of me telling me to just let it go. He's not interested in, or maybe not that much. A part of me thinks "He has an ego too. He texted me about his day and I decided to go quiet on him" What do you advise me to do?
stillafool Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 (edited) I advise you to stop playing games and act on your authentic feelings. It is a major turn off when people play games. You've already had sex with him and were fine with it so now why are you in such a hurry to find out the status of your relationship. It seems you have put the cart before the horse. You have only been on 2 dates, had sex so you are basically FWBs at this point. You didn't give it a chance to get to know one another before you became intimate. Text him back if you are interested. If you continue to play games be sure that he will move on. Edited September 14, 2017 by stillafool 7
Zahara Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 Testing people to see how they react comes from insecurity. You've had two dates and you're already self-sabotaging. I think your game playing comes from more than just curiosity. The objective of dating is the process of getting to know someone to see if there is compatibility. You chose to have sex, which has probably clouded you and now you're pushing to figure out his investment based on just two dates? You're getting way ahead of yourself. If I texted a guy and he silenced me for two days, I would likely be focusing on other dates that are more communicative and interested. I'm sure if he did this to you, you'd be on here asking why the guy has been ignoring you and if he is interested. Text him back if YOU are interested and stop playing games. 2
smackie9 Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 This is no way to have self worth. You go around doing that kind of crap, you will end up alone. He's probably thinking you lost interest or is seeing someone else. He has self worth...he ain't playing that game. 2
kendahke Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 What do you advise me to do? not to play stupid games clearly that plan backfired any interest that guy had in you is doused now in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he's on here now with a thread about you ghosting on him. I wouldn't text him. Your disinterest speaks loudly for itself. 2
ChatroomHero Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 100% with the rest of the responses, stop playing games. If I text someone in a similar situation and they do not respond, I lose all interest. In my case I assume they are not interested/ low interest, but if I knew they did it as a test, not only would I lose interest I would actually dislike them as a person. 2
Author soyou Posted September 14, 2017 Author Posted September 14, 2017 Thanks everyone for your advises and very honest thoughts. You're right. I think the reasons why I did it were coming from my own insecurity. I slept with him too soon and now I feel like it could take away all the possible romance and courtship which I am supposed to have/deserve.
brandon26003 Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 I agree with everyone that posted here. Coming from a man who was recently ghosted when things seemed to be going well, this behavior screams insecurity. Chasing is a game. If you expect a man to chase you, you will lose every time, although this seems to be the norm in dating now. How could you expect this man to trust you now ? If he does come back, it will just be for sex with no thoughts of a relationship. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Mike B. Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 I think acting insecure about sleeping with someone very early is the actual turn off rather than the actual early sexual encounter. I would just own it and go about things as I normally would instead of trying to convince someone that you usually don't sleep with dates early or testing their interest level after you sleep with them. If I was that guy, I would assume that you only wanted the sex and moved on so I would not text back since you did not respond to my last text. I almost never respond to ignored messages but you obviously had men who would. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 From his perspective things were flowing nicely & you were both enjoying the sex. Then you ghosted to see if he would give chase. He didn't know that. He was probably sitting there thinking he did something wrong or you decided he was bad in bed. I'd be shocked if he was sitting there thinking "gee thank God she's gone; she was easy & who wants a girl like that?" It was a mutual decision to have sex; your "reputation" wasn't comprised. The 1950s have been over for a while.
gemmax Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 I would text him considering he text you about his day and you never responded.
Author soyou Posted September 21, 2017 Author Posted September 21, 2017 *** UPDATE: I thought I should give an update so people who read my post know what happens next! I texted the guy again right after I posted here. He replied everytime but very short and kinda cold texts. I tried to ask him little funny questions here and there but I had a feeling he was pissed/upset at me that I had disappeared for 2-3 days! Finally I just got the big balls and asked him if he liked me, he said yes. And I asked if he wanted to date me or jusr **** date me, he said he wanted to date me. I told him that I liked him and wanted to date him too! He was very happy with that so we're dating and getting to know each other now! 4
Miss Spider Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 In our last conversion 2 days ago, he texted me about his day and work. I decided to not reply back. Based on my past experience, if a guy likes me enough, he would chase me or try to reach out to me again. What do you advise me to do? What kind of strategy is this? You know there are guys who will reach out again just for more prospective sex and texting is very low effort. I advise to just ask like a person normally would!!
guest569 Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 *** UPDATE: I thought I should give an update so people who read my post know what happens next! I texted the guy again right after I posted here. He replied everytime but very short and kinda cold texts. I tried to ask him little funny questions here and there but I had a feeling he was pissed/upset at me that I had disappeared for 2-3 days! Finally I just got the big balls and asked him if he liked me, he said yes. And I asked if he wanted to date me or jusr **** date me, he said he wanted to date me. I told him that I liked him and wanted to date him too! He was very happy with that so we're dating and getting to know each other now! That's great! Wasn't that easier than messing with him? Happy for you but also stay calm and don't get ahead of yourselves 1
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 See what happens when you communicate clearly like an adult & stop playing games.
RobMele Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 if a girl ignores a single msg at the start I take it as a hint and hit the highway right away, pronto, no 2nd text, ever I had 2 dates with a guy. We both agreed on our 1st date we're looking for somebody special. Both dates we slept together. I dont have any regret or feel bad about it. It just happened naturally. After the first date, he expressed to see me again and did make effort to see me. After 2nd date, he still texted me and checked me out as usual. But the curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to know if he really liked me (besides the sex). In our last conversion 2 days ago, he texted me about his day and work. I decided to not reply back. Based on my past experience, if a guy likes me enough, he would chase me or try to reach out to me again. 2 days have passed. I dont hear anything from him again. A part of me telling me to just let it go. He's not interested in, or maybe not that much. A part of me thinks "He has an ego too. He texted me about his day and I decided to go quiet on him" What do you advise me to do?
rightondude Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 For a second there I thought you were someone I've dated! What a silly way for grown assed people to go about life.
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