smackie9 Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 I'm laughing at everyone replying to the OP that she should leave the guy, as if he wasn't handsome and as if she wasn't a single mom. He has a job but just doesn't spend it all on her — that doesn't make him broke. She's a single mom, sorry but the standards are lower. I'm not saying that it's right but SMs will put up with all kinds of BS compared to if she didn't have a child. Also most guys will treat SMs differently (not saying it's right, it's just how it is). I've seen this scenario many times. In the end the guy leaves the girl when he's tired, or the girl dumps the guy (pretending to have self-respect) but then soon regrets it. Since he has a job, why doesn't he at least pay for half? He is bad with his money, she paid for his cel phone bill for 3 months. She is infatuated, but should find a more suitable option is the advice here. To add this guy has also been blownin smoke up her ass about all the great things he's going to be doing, but doesn't follow through. He's full of it, sponging, preying on the weak. He has no intention of being serious with her. I get what you say about single moms, but she's not asking him to pay her car payment or her rent. She simply wants to be treated like a GF, and be taken out for a nice dinner one in awhile. That isn't an over inflated request.
stillafool Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 I'm laughing at everyone replying to the OP that she should leave the guy, as if he wasn't handsome and as if she wasn't a single mom. He has a job but just doesn't spend it all on her — that doesn't make him broke. She's a single mom, sorry but the standards are lower. I'm not saying that it's right but SMs will put up with all kinds of BS compared to if she didn't have a child. Also most guys will treat SMs differently (not saying it's right, it's just how it is). I've seen this scenario many times. In the end the guy leaves the girl when he's tired, or the girl dumps the guy (pretending to have self-respect) but then soon regrets it. Why does this happen? I've seen a lot of single moms lower their standards.
bpb2017 Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 He has no intention of being serious with her. Single moms are used to this. I have nothing against single moms but this is just a reality that too many people are trying to keep quiet (ultimately to the detriment of women). When you are a single mom it's unrealistic to have the same standards & expectations compared to if you were just a single woman. Imagine this, there is a single dad dating a better looking childless girl, he pays for everything and puts up with a lot of BS from her. Not necessarily right, but it is normal. The OP is in the same situation, but of course is a woman. The guy the OP is dating is definitely taking advantage, but he sees it as fair due to her being a single mom. If he is made to pay his half then whats the point of dating the OP?
Gaeta Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 OP is not a single mom of 21 years old. As per her name we are talking about a woman of 40. When we're reaching within our 40s, both women and men, don't expect to meet someone childless. I will even add when we meet someone in their 40s childless we wonder what's wrong with them. So, this whole theory here that he is lowering his standards because she is a single mom doesn't hold the road. SHE is the one lowering her standards. Why she is lowering her standards can be because of 100 reasons, low self-esteem, body image issues, only used to abusive relationships, etc. 1
No_Go Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 Well - not true - not everyone is willing to date a parent... I have nothing against other people's children but since I want to have my own - I have strong preference for a man with no children (30-40 age range). OP is not a single mom of 21 years old. As per her name we are talking about a woman of 40. When we're reaching within our 40s, both women and men, don't expect to meet someone childless. I will even add when we meet someone in their 40s childless we wonder what's wrong with them. So, this whole theory here that he is lowering his standards because she is a single mom doesn't hold the road. SHE is the one lowering her standards. Why she is lowering her standards can be because of 100 reasons, low self-esteem, body image issues, only used to abusive relationships, etc. 1
No_Go Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 (edited) You're dating my ex OP? Just joking but he was like your guy: will ask me out for dinner and wait for me to pay for both (he'd pay for shows for both but only when he wanted to go, never asked me for opinion). Or we'll go grocery shopping for him and I'll pay the whole bill. When we moved in we'd split the bill but he always found a way to make me pay for more, and he made 100% of buying decisions - Id still pay. Now - he ws making more than me, solid 6 figure salary. He had some debt because he was 'over' things like paying bills on time, but not broke. Just entitled. He behaved exactly the same way with his friends and family, that's why they avoided him And also he was talking marriage all the time - maybe to keep me on the hook? He was so entitled that I never took his words seriously... You can't turn him around - this is his personality. Leave it or take it. :eek:I've been dating this guys for 10 months. He never pays when we go out to dinner. He will pay if we go to the bar He complains that his ex girlfriend never paid for anything. During month 2 through month 5 I paid his cellular bill. He's always making big plans with his mouth but not following through. I hate to tell him I'm going grocery shopping because he will give me a list of stuff he needs. Once I bought him lunch meat and gatorade for work and told him to grab some chips. He never packed his lunch saying I didnt buy any chips to go with it. He tries to pull guilt trips if he wants something and I dont jump and say okay I'll get it (which I never do cause I didnt give birth to him) He will say someone else got it for him. When I mention a concert or movie he will say okay babe go ahead and get the tickets. Or he will mention it but it will end with Okay babe go ahead and get the tickets Don't get me wrong hes handsome, dresses really well is very likeable by others. He supports me, listens to me and makes my kid smile. But I am still waiting on him to show me something? Am I petty. I've been in this relationship so long still waiting. Maybe this time we go out I dont have to pay. Maybe this time while we are running errands I can say babe lets stop and grab fastfood and he will pull out his wallet not wait for me too. I just want him to do for me just once. When he gets paid the first thing on his mind is not me. He's looking at shoes and matching shirts and flashy jeans. He wants to go out and be seen that night. When I hint around that i want to go on date night he says okay or he makes an excuse. I have to find a babysitter so I have to plan stuff out. So he claims hes spontaneous so we dont go. I like this man so much he makes me laugh smile and feel a way I have not felt in 6 years but when it comes to the money situation. I feel Used. I feel like he was looking for a Mom and not a girlfriend. ( feel like the Ericka Badu song Tyrone) What should I do to turn this situation around. Hes talking marriage and I'm just not convinced. Edited September 16, 2017 by No_Go 1
Gaeta Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 Well - not true - not everyone is willing to date a parent... I have nothing against other people's children but since I want to have my own - I have strong preference for a man with no children (30-40 age range). In your age range it's still possible. I am talking 40+ like OP. If she is 40, as I assume because of her name, and she is dating this man of 45, you think he is lowering his standards because she has kids? of course not. Once you're in your 40s you see things differently and most people don't want kids anymore and expect most people to have children already. 1
smackie9 Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 Single moms are used to this. I have nothing against single moms but this is just a reality that too many people are trying to keep quiet (ultimately to the detriment of women). When you are a single mom it's unrealistic to have the same standards & expectations compared to if you were just a single woman. Imagine this, there is a single dad dating a better looking childless girl, he pays for everything and puts up with a lot of BS from her. Not necessarily right, but it is normal. The OP is in the same situation, but of course is a woman. The guy the OP is dating is definitely taking advantage, but he sees it as fair due to her being a single mom. If he is made to pay his half then whats the point of dating the OP? I don't know of any single dad that pays for everything. In fact I don't know of any men that pay for everything this day and age. That dinosaur has long been extinct. It's a modern age where the financial gap is closing in. I'm a believer of 50/50. Regardless of finical situation, I feel you must put in as much as you take out.
Recommended Posts