RobMele Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Split up over a year ago with 100% no contact. Wanted to get back to speaking terms this autumn. Instead of txting I just simply liked one of her fb posts even though were not fb friends. Post was an article she wrote for journal. She deleted the whole post after I put a like. Was going to text her saying how good the article is and planned to travel to her country after getting back on terms. Why would she delete the post right after i liked it? I dont get it. Kindo messed up my whole plan now Link to post Share on other sites
cope ascetic Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Kinda makes you wonder. Well i think you should leave it alone, this isn't the opportunity to reach out to her that you were hoping for. Let it go. Maybe there will be another chance down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 It sounds like it made her uncomfortable, so deleting her post was her subtle way of shutting you down. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like she is interested in reconnecting with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Her deleting the post may have nothing to do with you... I delete things I post occasionally, sometimes after the first few minutes. If you're interested in getting back in touch with her, I would do so directly with a short text. Then you'll have your answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 I think it's a pretty clear signal that she isn't on the same page as you with reconnecting. You never know what is going through someone's head. It looks like she wants to continue NC, so I would not purse this further. I don't know her reasons, but those are apparently her wishes. I'm sorry about that. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 healing light and BC both have good points. I too have deleted posts after I've made them. But I can also imagine shutting down any feedback from someone I have no wish to be in contact with. Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 If I wasn't friends with my ex on facebook, and we had had zero contact in a year, and he "liked" one of my posts, I'd be a little freaked out. The term "stalker" comes to mind. Why would you even be checking out her fb page if you weren't "friends"? And are you sure she deleted the whole post? Or did she block you altogether. Because that's what I would have done. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedWC Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Are you guys Facebook friends? Or was it a public post on her page you liked? If you guys remained Facebook friends, maybe she deleted it because she became insecure with her work? I even know people who will delete things because it wasn't getting very many likes. Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Social media isn't the real world. I wouldn't over-think too much about her deleting a fb post. Its just a like, after 1 year (if she has moved on healthy), she wouldn't are if you like a post or not, so I think deleting it may have nothing to do with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RobMele Posted September 16, 2017 Author Share Posted September 16, 2017 *** UPDATE *** she defo deleted it cause of me, the post had 2 likes in total before me and it was public. so it wasnt exactly getting popular lol. we arent fb friends. the post was personal as its a psychology article she wrote analysis salary divide at workplace I ended up whatsapping her only to be ignored. 3 more tries and am done lol nothing to lose at this point OH and I failed to mention, the breakup was veryy messy with me dumping her when she came to visit Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 Sounds like she did the right thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 16, 2017 Share Posted September 16, 2017 I think she's letting you know that she's moved on and is not interested in even friends with you. If it was messy I doubt she'd want anything to do with you. That's the last impression she has with you and that sticks around a lot longer than any previous good times. Good luck though if you're still trying, but I'd take the hint and leave her in peace. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 She clearly doesn't want anything to do with you, so leave her alone. Link to post Share on other sites
SpecialJ Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 Doubt she deleted it, she probably just changed her facebook post settings back to friends only. Agree that she doesn't sound interested in reconnecting. But, what did you message her? Did you say what you wanted from her, or just something like hey how's it going? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RobMele Posted September 18, 2017 Author Share Posted September 18, 2017 It sounds like it made her uncomfortable, so deleting her post was her subtle way of shutting you down. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like she is interested in reconnecting with you. why does she need to shut me down, its just a fb like on a public post, if you dont care about the person and wanna ignore them then surely you would just do nothing... i mean its a little excessive to delete it... like none of you are actually explaining why she would delete the post.. your just telling me she dont wanna talk to me... okay fine but why delete the post... like its just a stupid thumbs up from me lol Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 why does she need to shut me down, its just a fb like on a public post, if you dont care about the person and wanna ignore them then surely you would just do nothing... i mean its a little excessive to delete it... like none of you are actually explaining why she would delete the post.. your just telling me she dont wanna talk to me... okay fine but why delete the post... like its just a stupid thumbs up from me lol It may be a stupid thumbs up but it may mean something to her. Don't project. She may have deleted it after you liked it because 1) she didn't want anyone seeing you liking stuff on her page 2) she felt that you tainted her work by liking it -- turned her off 3) she was trying to send you a message that she does not appreciate your interest in her posts 4) she felt weird that you were reading her work. Doesn't matter the reason when the message was clear --she deleted it because of you. Stop contacting her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 When you say the break up was messy were you the dumper? Or a cheater/abuser? If its either of those things I could see the not wanting to talk even after 1 year Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 why does she need to shut me down, its just a fb like on a public post, if you dont care about the person and wanna ignore them then surely you would just do nothing... i mean its a little excessive to delete it... like none of you are actually explaining why she would delete the post.. your just telling me she dont wanna talk to me... okay fine but why delete the post... like its just a stupid thumbs up from me lol You can't delete likes so the only way to get rid of it was to delete the entire post. Yes it is extreme, but that only illustrates how much she wanted it gone. She wanted to shut you down so you wouldn't start contacting her again. Liking her post wasn't as subtle as you thought. You aren't friends and you haven't stayed in contact, so it would have looked like you had some sort of agenda. Whether you agree with her actions or not, this is how she has decided to deal with it. From an outside perspective, it isn't that surprising that she would respond that way a year after a messy breakup with the guy that dumped her. I understand it may be frustrating to be met with this sort of response, but that is her choice and I think you should respect it. Personally, I would recommend that you don't contact her again. Link to post Share on other sites
SpecialJ Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Again, I doubt she deleted it. But if she changed her privacy settings to friends only, as she realized it was a public post after you liked it, then it would appear deleted to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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