mejustme Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 Co worker of mine has been dating a guy for two months and he tells her he doesn't feel that they are sexually compatible. Ummmm.....ewwww. That cannot be good, right? She thinks she can work on his wants and needs list. I say move on. But since he hasn't all together rejected her she thinks there is hope. He calls and texts her often, but dates with him have diminished. She thinks since he is still reaching out to her there is an interest on his part. Me being fairly new to this dating stuff am perplexed at this. Thoughts are greatly appreciated.
alphamale Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 if a man says to a women that you two are "sexually incompatible" then its time for her to move on 2
Els Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 ....Why are you and your co-worker talking about sex with her boyfriend??? Maybe it's just me, but I think it's generally a good idea to stay away from such topics at work. Anyway, to answer the question, it's extremely important to me. Knowing what I know now, I'd bail if the other person was sexually incompatible with me. 2
fred123 Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 ....Why are you and your co-worker talking about sex with her boyfriend??? Maybe it's just me, but I think it's generally a good idea to stay away from such topics at work. Anyway, to answer the question, it's extremely important to me. Knowing what I know now, I'd bail if the other person was sexually incompatible with me. What does sexually incompatible even mean? Sex can get better right?
alphamale Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 What does sexually incompatible even mean? it means you're not physically or mentally attracted to someone 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 Sexual compatibility is very important and top three characteristics of a relationship that I hold paramount. Not enough sex or I am not turned on by my partner and it will be time to move on. I have a few questions: 1. So, I take it that they have had sex. Once? How many times? 2. Is she inexperienced? New to sex? 3. What is the nature of the texting/communication? Is he only looking for sex? To be frank, if the dates have stopped AND he is clearly indicating that they are not sexually compatible, he is either looking to rebound with another girl and keeping your friend 'tethered' until he does find someone else or he is looking for a FWB. The fact that your friend is willing to work on his list indicates to me that she is willing to be compromise w/o expectation of exclusivity or some commitment.
Kellens Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 I would not continue to date someone who I am not sexually compatible with. I stayed in a relationship for 7 years thinking that there was something wrong with me since the sex was so blah.. it turns out we just weren't compatible in the bedroom. It was both of our faults and neither of our faults, if that makes any sense. I wouldn't ever settle again, especially after having amazing sex with my current boyfriend 1
stillafool Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 It isn't something that can change. You like what you like. Your friend would do best to forget about that guy. She cannot make him happy.
Els Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 What does sexually incompatible even mean? Sex can get better right? Lots of ways in which two people can be sexually incompatible, but my definition of it is that he likes very different things in bed from what I like. Even if it gets "better", it's not sustainable in the long run if only one person is enjoying themselves at any one time while the other compromises just to please them. Frequency is a big one for some people, but for me that's not so crucial.
RecentChange Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 What does sexually incompatible even mean? Sex can get better right? it means you're not physically or mentally attracted to someone For me it's something different. Different kinks, different tastes, sometimes you both simply do not speak the same language. For example I had a FWB, really didn't be have a body type I was into (tall skinny), but man, we were sexuality compatible - everything just came naturally to us, had similar sexual preferences, could find each other's buttons, it was hot and felt natural. Sure people can be taught, but just like someone may have a personality you don't like - sometimes people just don't click in bed. I once dated a great guy, liked his personality, he was attractive but the sex between us lacked any spark. 1
Author mejustme Posted September 13, 2017 Author Posted September 13, 2017 ....Why are you and your co-worker talking about sex with her boyfriend??? Maybe it's just me, but I think it's generally a good idea to stay away from such topics at work. Anyway, to answer the question, it's extremely important to me. Knowing what I know now, I'd bail if the other person was sexually incompatible with me. First, we are friends outside of work, second we were actually talking on the phone after hours.
fred123 Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 Hmm. So nothing to do with kissing or dick size or body type? Very interesting to know.
elaine567 Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 What does sexually incompatible even mean? Sex can get better right? Yes the sex can get better, but incompatibilities tend to persist. He loves blow jobs, she refuses to do it. She loves blow jobs, he tells her not to bother as he doesn't like it. She wants an active lover, he wants to just lie on his back while she does all the work. He wants an active gf, she wants to just lie on her back. He wants it 2x a day, she wants it 2x a month or vice versa. She wants to try new things, he is happy with missionary, or vice versa. She wants to have orgasms, he is happy with wham bam thank you ma'am sex and then he rolls over and falls asleep. He is happy to go on for hours, she wants him to get it over and done with as soon as possible... etc. etc. OP The problem with her working on his needs and wants list is that they are not her needs and wants, so the chances of her being able to enthusiastically keep it up long term, are probably zero, as she is only doing things sexually to stop him from leaving. He may be just using her, he knows she is into him and some men will persuade women, especially naive ones to do "anything" under the illusion they need to do it, to keep him interested or to get him back. She needs to be very careful here. 5
Gaeta Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 Of course sexual compatibility is important. Sex is the glue that holds the relationship together. The phrase 'we are not sexually compatible' means different things depending if you are a woman or a man. If a man says to a woman they are sexually incompatible it means he finds sex with her boring. 1
janellel Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 Well, I've never been in such a situation, but I couldn't imagine continuing to pursue a guy who said we were "sexually incompatible". To me, that is basically a nice way of saying you are not interested in the other person sexually. Tbh, the fact that your friend still has 'hope" after such a direct comment gives me the impression that she's a bit desperate to get a guy. Tbh, I even find the comment a little insulting. A simple "I already am seeing someone" or "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" should suffice to let someone know you're not interested. I mean, knowing how guys are, to me such a direct statement is like them telling you you're really ugly and unappealing, because most guys will go for it if you're even just moderately attractive. In fact, if a guy said we're not sexually compatible, I'd probably assume that he was gay! My honest opinion is that your friend just needs to move on... 1
K.K. Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 We can see even from just the threads here that sexual compatibility is very VERY important. The frequency and the style. Or if they have a fetish that you just don't get into its going to go south really quick. I know that from experience. Don't ask.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 We can see even from just the threads here that sexual compatibility is very VERY important. The frequency and the style. Or if they have a fetish that you just don't get into its going to go south really quick. I know that from experience. Don't ask. Well you can't say that!! Tell! 1
coolheadal Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 Co worker of mine has been dating a guy for two months and he tells her he doesn't feel that they are sexually compatible. Ummmm.....ewwww. That cannot be good, right? She thinks she can work on his wants and needs list. I say move on. But since he hasn't all together rejected her she thinks there is hope. He calls and texts her often, but dates with him have diminished. She thinks since he is still reaching out to her there is an interest on his part. Me being fairly new to this dating stuff am perplexed at this. Thoughts are greatly appreciated. The answer is right there on your nose! Yet you keep going on about it. If the guy doesn't feel it with woman inside then there is not hope in continuing the bang of the game!
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