JQC1 Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 So I met a guy on Tinder this time this past Sunday. We met up shortly after matching with one another and we went on a short hike. He (in my mind) extended the date by asking if I wanted a tour of the college campus since I said I had never gone through it before (I'm moved to a college town for work). So we drove around campus and he showed me different buildings and kept asking me if I wanted to see different things since he was free and I accepted. Anyway, at the end of the date, he sort of asked if he could kiss me.. he just said "can I" and started leaning in and I got the message and of course I kissed him. It was a sweet kiss and nothing like a makeout session or anything. He then asked if I wanted to get dinner sometime and I said yes and then he asked again "if that would be ok" and I said yes again. He then asked me when I was leaving town this week since I told him I was flying out to visit a friend for the weekend and I told him I was leaving Thursday night and he said ok and that he would text me. So its Tuesday night now, and I still haven't heard from him... Am I being too impatient? Do i assume he's not interested and move on? Last time I initiated communication after a first date it just ended up wasting my time so I'm hesitant to do that again...
olivetree Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 So you saw him the same day you matched on Sunday? If so, it's only been almost two days. At this point, it's difficult to say whether he is trying not to seem too keen or if he's not interested. Honestly, don't even worry about it. Keep talking to and meeting other guys and see if you are still interested when/if he makes contact.
Author JQC1 Posted September 12, 2017 Author Posted September 12, 2017 So you saw him the same day you matched on Sunday? If so, it's only been almost two days. At this point, it's difficult to say whether he is trying not to seem too keen or if he's not interested. Honestly, don't even worry about it. Keep talking to and meeting other guys and see if you are still interested when/if he makes contact. Yes, we met up about 30-40ish minutes after matching. We had a decent amount of back and forth conversation on Tinder before exchanging numbers to meet up.
Author JQC1 Posted September 12, 2017 Author Posted September 12, 2017 I also am thinking he's not interested since tomorrow night will be the only night left that i'm free this week... I mean I did tell him I was leaving Thursday night, if he wanted to see me i feel like he would've made plans already
No_Go Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 Last time I initiated communication after a first date it just ended up wasting my time so I'm hesitant to do that again... Well now you waste time as well waiting for him so... I guess the easiest solution is to initiate and ask him. He'd respond immediately if interested, slow if lukewarm, or not at all if disinterested. Then you know for sure.
Author JQC1 Posted September 12, 2017 Author Posted September 12, 2017 Last time I initiated communication after a first date it just ended up wasting my time so I'm hesitant to do that again... Well now you waste time as well waiting for him so... I guess the easiest solution is to initiate and ask him. He'd respond immediately if interested, slow if lukewarm, or not at all if disinterested. Then you know for sure. He actually just texted me... maybe he was trying to not seem too eager. I wish I didn't analyze things as much, it just causes way more stress 2
kendahke Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 So its Tuesday night now, and I still haven't heard from him... Am I being too impatient? . Yes. You're being impatient. It's only Tuesday. If this was next Tuesday, then I'd say that he's not interested or has very low interest. Just wait it out. If he doesn't reach out, Tinder is still on your phone.
act00 Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 Text him or call. Why are you not? You're the one that has all these other plans to work around, not him, so I can appreciate him not wanting to step on your toes or not appearing too desperate or demanding. If you're interested, text or call. Don't leave him to be a mind reader. He probably doesn't remember your exact itinerary...I wouldn't. If he responds, cool beans! If he doesn't, guess that was a bust and move on. Goddam text him...you're the one with the loopy schedule. Toss this guy a bone! This man is double checking himself and you A LOT...are you playing coy and indifferent? Or is he really insecure? Asking permission to kiss you, call you, or if he can go out with you again, multiple times, is problematic. I feel that since you're the one with the schedule that is difficult to work around, the ball is in your court to make sure you are interested and push towards a time you are able to see him, and work around defined times. This is a new relationship, and you don't want to lose the momentum. If he gets all wishy-washy and can't commit to a time, then you are two ships that passed in the night...life goes on. I don't think you should expect men to be mind readers, and if you want to see him, do it, and if there are restrictions, be upfront about it. Expect the exact same from them and don't wait around for a bunch of I-don't-knows...do it or don't.
Author JQC1 Posted September 13, 2017 Author Posted September 13, 2017 Text him or call. Why are you not? You're the one that has all these other plans to work around, not him, so I can appreciate him not wanting to step on your toes or not appearing too desperate or demanding. If you're interested, text or call. Don't leave him to be a mind reader. He probably doesn't remember your exact itinerary...I wouldn't. If he responds, cool beans! If he doesn't, guess that was a bust and move on. Goddam text him...you're the one with the loopy schedule. Toss this guy a bone! This man is double checking himself and you A LOT...are you playing coy and indifferent? Or is he really insecure? Asking permission to kiss you, call you, or if he can go out with you again, multiple times, is problematic. I feel that since you're the one with the schedule that is difficult to work around, the ball is in your court to make sure you are interested and push towards a time you are able to see him, and work around defined times. This is a new relationship, and you don't want to lose the momentum. If he gets all wishy-washy and can't commit to a time, then you are two ships that passed in the night...life goes on. I don't think you should expect men to be mind readers, and if you want to see him, do it, and if there are restrictions, be upfront about it. Expect the exact same from them and don't wait around for a bunch of I-don't-knows...do it or don't. Well i've been texting him all night and I'm starting to get the feeling that he's only wanting a booty call. He was trying to get me over to his place to help him "clean" (its 10pm) and when I said "there's always tomorrow" in response to getting food, he said that he was getting dinner with a couple of friends and added a ":(". Clearly, he didn't plan to actually have a date planned if he just texted me tonight at around 8pm knowing that I was leaving Thursday night. He remembers this because he mentioned it during our back and forth tonight.
coolheadal Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 Well i've been texting him all night and I'm starting to get the feeling that he's only wanting a booty call. He was trying to get me over to his place to help him "clean" (its 10pm) and when I said "there's always tomorrow" in response to getting food, he said that he was getting dinner with a couple of friends and added a ":(". Clearly, he didn't plan to actually have a date planned if he just texted me tonight at around 8pm knowing that I was leaving Thursday night. He remembers this because he mentioned it during our back and forth tonight. Well don't be victim of booty call, if you don't want that. Sounds like you want more than the booty call gal you could become for him. Tell him your no booty call see how his attitude changes!
kendahke Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 at first, you were being impatient. now he's being impatient. Wouldn't hurt for both of you to develop some self discipline
smackie9 Posted September 13, 2017 Posted September 13, 2017 If it doesn't feel right, then it's not. Move on.
Author JQC1 Posted September 13, 2017 Author Posted September 13, 2017 at first, you were being impatient. now he's being impatient. Wouldn't hurt for both of you to develop some self discipline The fact that he has other plans for the last night I'm here for the week shows me he's not serious... he kept texting me after I told him I had to work in the morning. And I felt like he kept on wanting to have the last word in our conversation... my last response was "good" and then he responded "yes." Seems unecessary and I'm not sure if I should initiate contact in the future
NexttP Posted September 14, 2017 Posted September 14, 2017 Last time I initiated communication after a first date it just ended up wasting my time so I'm hesitant to do that again... You either waste 10 minutes to initiate and get it over with or waste days waiting this time around. You pick. Too desperate? No, it's urgency. Would you really want to spend your life with some guy that's like "eh, I like her... but maybe I shouldn't talk to her too much. Because somehow talking and showing interest is bad." Well, showing interest DOES make you the vulnerable one since it means that you put the cards on the table and let him make the next move. Sure it hurts if he rejects you. Better reject you now than *gasp* waste more time.
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