noknow Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 I've been seeing someone for about a month now. We are very compatible and really enjoy each others company. The first date was just a getting to know each other. The second date we explored the city and spent the whole day together. She ended up inviting me back to her place where we watched a movie and snuggled. Third date I bought her Dinner and we came over to my place and watch a movie. I made a move on her and things got physical. I spent a long time making out, undressing her, caressing, kissing, licking her body, teasing, etc. I actually was running out of saliva, I hate it when that happens. But I wanted go further but she didn't want to. We snuggled the whole night. I'm having Dinner with a bunch of friends and invited her and she wants to come. So I take that as a good sign. I'd like to see her interaction and get my friends' opinion of her. As far as texting, we text once a day. Which is fine with me. Overall, things are progressing in a linear fashion which is good. I think she is a good match and she has been receptive to most of my advances. She says that she has a ton of fun every time she sees me. But should I be concerned that she didn't want to go all the way? Does this mean she is not serious? Is it best to take things in steps? Are there some moves I could add that could increase my chances?
TheBathWater Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 Based on what you've shared, I wouldn't worry at all about her attraction level for you or if she's "serious." If anything, I would wonder the opposite if she jumped right into bed with you. What is your sense of why she hasn't slept with you yet? Is she getting over a recent breakup? If so, this could be a good reason, especially if it was a long-term relationship, or one that ended poorly. Or maybe she is just a woman with integrity and doesn't want to come off as being "easy." Sounds like you're doing good with her overall. Keep up the good work.
Lobouspo Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 Nothing to worry about here from what you have posted. I would take her not putting out so soon as a good sign. Take it day by day and enjoy the moment and see where things go. Good luck! 1
Author noknow Posted September 12, 2017 Author Posted September 12, 2017 Based on what you've shared, I wouldn't worry at all about her attraction level for you or if she's "serious." If anything, I would wonder the opposite if she jumped right into bed with you. What is your sense of why she hasn't slept with you yet? Is she getting over a recent breakup? If so, this could be a good reason, especially if it was a long-term relationship, or one that ended poorly. Or maybe she is just a woman with integrity and doesn't want to come off as being "easy." Sounds like you're doing good with her overall. Keep up the good work. Good point. She is new in town. Graduated from university recently got her first job. She's only had one serious relationship early in college. She is the scientific, quiet, shy type. She definitely does not come off as easy. I guess I have in my mind that I should always be escalating or I'll blow it. I'm trying to learn from my past mistakes. See here for my failings:http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/630882-i-m-getting-friend-zoned-i-need-change. This really set myself into motion for all future dates. This has been a GREAT improvement for me so far. But I'm afraid that if things aren't moving along, then I'll fall into that trap. I have not idea what the pace of things should be.
act00 Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 You went from no kissing and not a lot of affection to everything but intercourse, and it doesn't sound like there was a lot in the middle, so I can see her putting a stop at some point. She doesn't want to come across as easy, and she also wants to make sure you're interested in more than sex, which you do seem to be demonstrating. People are all over the map on when it's okay to touch someone, hold hands, kiss, etc., so it's kind of hard to know where she's coming from, but I would say to just keep along like you've been doing and enjoy your time together and let things just progress.
CloudyHead Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 Relationships are more than having sex. My BF told me that he did not want a relationship that was based on sex right out the gate as those type of relationships had crash and burned in his past. And, you know, he is right. Kudos to her for pulling back and wanting to know/like your big head before knowing/liking your little head.
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 The 3 date rule is not a thing. It sounds like she wants some more reassurance that you are not a wham bam thank you ma'am kind of guy. Keep doing what you have been doing. Eventually it will happen. I do think it's ridiculous for adults who don't want to have sex to spend the night together. That is just my opinion. If it's working for you, sweet dreams. 1
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