mortensorchid Posted September 11, 2017 Posted September 11, 2017 I have a question for others out there about match making. Now, I'm not asking if the process itself works because we all know how it works. You have this mutual friend A and they say to you "I think you would like my friend B". Say it happens, that the two people agree to it and they meet. What happens after the two meet is another story which we won't get into. What I am asking is what motivates the one doing the matching to do it? A sense of altruistic duty? I am under the impression in many circumstances that the person who does the matching is most of the time a woman. Maybe that comes from watching Fiddler on the Roof, in the days when there was a town's professional matchmaker. Maybe that still exists.
BrewCrew25 Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 I've set up friends with other friends a few times now. It usually ends up backfiring on me. The first time was a friend with another mutual friend that I wasn't very close with, but could tell he wanted a relationship badly. So I thought they'd be good together. My best friend and him wound up together for about 3 years but I was always a third wheel. Not that big of a deal, but it wasn't exactly pleasant. Second time I just started seeing a guy and he asked me if I had any friends for his friend, so we could double date. I did. But this time it got really weird. My friend would get jealous if I spent more time with my bf than she did with her bf (his friend), whenever we would double date it would become a "who is more affectionate" game and then everyone was sharing personal intimate details with each other. It got bad and eventually my bf and I stopped talking to my friend and her bf (his friend). When my bf and I broke up 2 years later, he became friends with his friend again but I never talked to my friend again. She and I had other issues forsure, but that played a big part in it. The third time was just recently. A guy I went on one date with but wasn't attracted to ended up becoming a friend of mine. He was always still really into me and I felt guilty friendzoning him. There was a girl I used to know in school (not really friends, just occasional conversations and fb friends) and she seemed like a really good match for him. I set them up and they've been together now for 6 months. I had to learn to back off knowing all the details and stop being a busybody, but by their facebooks they look SO happy. I'm very happy for them, and I still talk to the guy every now and again. So with all that said, when I've set people up, it's because I see two people that I think would be great together. I'm usually right, but it doesn't always end well for the matchmaker.. So you have to be smart about these things. Close friend groups can create drama that you will be in the middle of BECAUSE you set them up. If I knew two people that would be great together, I'd do it again. Just have to be smart about your role in everything.
bpb2017 Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 It's only women that do it, because when a man knows a great woman then he'd be dating or fooling around with her himself. People today are very picky and have much lower 'success' rate so yentas don't matchmake as often as they once did.
smackie9 Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 I think they feel like they are doing you a favor. My friend tried to fix me up with her BF's cousin. Bleck! Don't know what the hell she was thinking. I think they were trying to do him a favor lol. For me I don't get involved in matchmaking. People find it easier to just find love on their own.
LivingWaterPlease Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 There are three couples married due to my matchmaking skills, lol! I love to matchmake because I want people I know to be happy. That's basically the only reason I do it. I'm always on the lookout for little ways to make the lives of others better. That may sound a little saccharine to some, but that's really what's in my heart. And matchmaking takes such little effort! 1
bpb2017 Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 There are three couples married due to my matchmaking skills, lol! I love to matchmake because I want people I know to be happy. That's basically the only reason I do it. I'm always on the lookout for little ways to make the lives of others better. That may sound a little saccharine to some, but that's really what's in my heart. And matchmaking takes such little effort! What happens when it goes wrong? It's why I never give out sports betting recommendations, you just feel bad when your friend loses money because of you.
kendahke Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 I have a question for others out there about match making. Now, I'm not asking if the process itself works because we all know how it works. You have this mutual friend A and they say to you "I think you would like my friend B". Say it happens, that the two people agree to it and they meet. What happens after the two meet is another story which we won't get into. What I am asking is what motivates the one doing the matching to do it? A sense of altruistic duty? I am under the impression in many circumstances that the person who does the matching is most of the time a woman. Maybe that comes from watching Fiddler on the Roof, in the days when there was a town's professional matchmaker. Maybe that still exists. More likely they like you, think you're a great person, want to see you happy and think they know someone who would be a good fit. The problem becomes that person doesn't bring the pain you associate with love, so it fizzles before it can really develop.
Cersei Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 I am good at match making but I don't do it anymore. The last time I did it, it went so well that they decided to move away together and left me. Lol. 2 of my closest friends moved away and I hardly get to see them anymore. I think people do it because they see a potential match due to interests or goals. 1
LivingWaterPlease Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 It's only women that do it, because when a man knows a great woman then he'd be dating or fooling around with her himself. People today are very picky and have much lower 'success' rate so yentas don't matchmake as often as they once did. My Dr., a married man, set me up with his best friend. What happens when it goes wrong? It's why I never give out sports betting recommendations, you just feel bad when your friend loses money because of you. So far the marriages have all been successful.
LivingWaterPlease Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 I am good at match making but I don't do it anymore. The last time I did it, it went so well that they decided to move away together and left me. Lol. 2 of my closest friends moved away and I hardly get to see them anymore. I think people do it because they see a potential match due to interests or goals. This has happened to me, too, Cersei. In two of the marriages I introduced the guys were my close friends (I dated a couple times, never an item with them) so I no longer get to go out with them alone. I miss one of them in particular but wasn't romantically interested in him. 1
coolheadal Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 I am pretty good matching up people to the right person. Got a few still together after a long time. I think I've done it right with my latest woman I am seeing..Even though I met her at work, the friend I am staying with he and his wife met at work and they're still together so I knew that would work better for me. OLD and FB just doesn't seem to work for me again. On the bright side things has to be better than anything else. But matching someone else up takes time to find the right woman for them.
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