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Which would you rather

Popsicle

By Popsicle
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Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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This question is asking what YOU would rather have done to you.

 

If you had written to someone on a dating site that you really liked, would you rather them reject you by looking at your profile (which you can see that they did) and not responding at all, or would you rather they write you back and say "Thanks but I'm not interested"?

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Cersei Established Member

Cersei

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Thanks but I am not interested.

 

It shows a level of maturity to be able to do that.

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I'd prefer they don't reply. If they look at my profile and don't reply than I don't need more rejection than this to understand.

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CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

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I'd prefer they don't reply. If they look at my profile and don't reply than I don't need more rejection than this to understand.

 

Ditto.

 

................

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hercules22 Established Member

hercules22

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it kind of better that they dont leave you a message you just get the idea if they dont reply i sure as hell dont want to read someone saying they are not interested you can just tell when someone isnt interested anyway

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Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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When I was single and doing OLD I didn't need the "Thanks but I'm not interested" but it sure was appreciated.

 

We are all supposed to be civil adult people and as such we should act and react in a professional/adult manner when interacting with others and that includes being courteous when someone puts forth the effort to get to know us.

 

Now.. that being said I also understand the reasons behind many women not replying..

I had been told by many women that as soon as they reply and tell many men "Thanks but I'm not interested" they get hit with the angry bitter replies back either calling them names or some such...

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PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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When I was using OLD, when I got a message, I got an email informing me of a waiting message. I would get excited, log into the site, and read it... only to be disappointed by a "sorry not interested" message. To me, that is more of a rejection than no reply. At least with no reply I didn't get my hopes up. So, I preferred no reply.

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Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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Thanks y'all. It's interesting to see the different reasons behind why people prefer one or the other.

 

Would it be fair for me to say that those who have a lot of experience with online dating prefer no response?

caveman621 Established Member

caveman621

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When I was using OLD I actually preferred the "Thanks but I'm not interested." I'm sure no reply meant the same thing, but I liked the finality of not interested so I could move on and not bother them again. I would reply with "Thanks for the courtesy of a response. Good luck." I guess if they did not respond I would still think maybe, just maybe. Better for me to tear off the band aid!:eek:

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SevenCity Established Member

SevenCity

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Thanks y'all. It's interesting to see the different reasons behind why people prefer one or the other.

 

Would it be fair for me to say that those who have a lot of experience with online dating prefer no response?

 

Yes. As Pete stated above, men aren't inundated with messages so when one comes through you feel it will be positive.

 

I've never gotten a reject message and prefer no response.

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Most of the time when I responded no thank you, the man would endlessly debate with me the whys. I have learn it's better to not say something.

 

I know men seem to prefer women to respond with 'sorry not interested' maybe because they are not so good at getting cues. I remember of this guy who wrote to me 3 times. I did not reply 3 times. The 4th time he wrote I replied: If I had been interested I would have answered the last 3 times, what is it you don't get? He said he thought maybe I was busy that's why I was not replying.............................really!

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Shining One Established Member

Shining One

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Would it be fair for me to say that those who have a lot of experience with online dating prefer no response?
It would not be a fair assumption. I have significant experience sending initial messages and I always prefer a "Not interested" response over no response. Heck, Match has a one-click button for that, so you don't even have to type anything.
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Shining One Established Member

Shining One

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Most of the time when I responded no thank you, the man would endlessly debate with me the whys. I have learn it's better to not say something.
My advice to female friends is to respond "Not interested" and then block.
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Pumpkin008 Member

Pumpkin008

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I've used OLD in the past and got to a point where I didn't reply if I wasn't interested.

After sending a few "Thank you, but I don't think we are compatible" and getting some nasty replies- I stopped. Some men wanted a specific reason WHY we were not a match and a few even responded with insults.

Personally, I didn't mind getting a "no thanks" response. Sure it was a bummer if you thought someone was cute but at least I could cross them off my list and move on.

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Bastile Established Member

Bastile

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Telling people "I'm not interested" is a bit gratuitous, imo.

 

Unless the guy is harassing you or something.

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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This question is asking what YOU would rather have done to you.

 

If you had written to someone on a dating site that you really liked, would you rather them reject you by looking at your profile (which you can see that they did) and not responding at all, or would you rather they write you back and say "Thanks but I'm not interested"?

 

The former, since I'm already accustomed to that happening anyway.

SevenCity Established Member

SevenCity

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My advice to female friends is to respond "Not interested" and then block.

 

When you block you usually can't read the person's messages.

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Shining One Established Member

Shining One

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When you block you usually can't read the person's messages.
On Match, you can read the rejection message, but you can't respond to it if blocked. Which site(s) don't allow you to read the rejection message if you're blocked?
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SevenCity Established Member

SevenCity

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On Match, you can read the rejection message, but you can't respond to it if blocked. Which site(s) don't allow you to read the rejection message if you're blocked?

 

All the rest. If someone is blocked they disappear - messages and all (eHarmony, Bumble, Tinder and I think POF)

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Shining One Established Member

Shining One

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All the rest. If someone is blocked they disappear - messages and all (eHarmony, Bumble, Tinder and I think POF)
From my point of view, that's just as clear of an answer as "Not Interested". It's still better than no response. Edited by Shining One
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