lovesick21 Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 So me and my girlfriend had to take a break because shes moving out of the country for some time, but we have been having issues the last week, right up until shes set to leave tonight. The last week and a half i have needed her more than ever going through some personal problems in my ife, that she knows has been occurring. 2 weeks ago she stayed with me for 4 days and everything was perfect. We thought we'd see it out to the end because we are madly in love with each other and don't want to close any doors. Howevrr when i told her about my predicament, she was not there for me, even after telling her how bad i needed her at the time. Ontop of that she barely made any time for me this weeek when shes set to leave, making excuses saying shes busy, even after i told her i needed her more than ever. obviously that hurt alot seeing as how everything was perfect like a week and a half ago. Lately shes been acting real distant, and I'm pretty sure its because shes leaving and shes making it easier on herself. She's madly in love with me I know that for sure, and is still telling me she loves me and she misses me, however it felt like she really turned her back on me when i needed her the most just so that the break would be easier on her, and actions do speak louder, than the passsive i love you. I dont know how to feel about this, apart of me understands why shes doing it, but another part of me has doesnt respect it at all because i would be there for her regardless of the situation i knew we were both facing with the break and all because we are friends and have been for years. Just really confused about the whole situation. Even after i let it be known that i do not respect her mechanism for coping with it, i still penned her a poem and bought her flowers to let her know that i still love her. I left all the doors open, i hope she realizes how bad she hurt me, and that maybe one day, when shes back in 9 months or so we can give this a try, just unsure about whether i should be upset at her or not
clam Posted September 11, 2017 Posted September 11, 2017 (edited) Sorry for your pain but honestly it doesn't sound like she's "madly in love" with you. She's getting ready to move to another country, she already told you she wants a break, and she wasn't there for you when you needed her recently. I'm not sure what the crisis was that made you need to lean on her so heavily a mere week before she is set to leave (perhaps you can shed some light on this?) but you do come across as emotionally needy and that's usually a huge turnoff for women, especially for a woman who is already halfway checked out. Work on yourself, and don't make her move a miserable ending by whining and professing your undying love. Stop with the flowers and poems. If she really wanted to be in the relationship she wouldn't be moving across the globe. If it's meant to be you'll have another chance in the future. But objectively it seems to me this relationship has run its course. Edited September 11, 2017 by clam
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2017 Posted September 11, 2017 Not everybody can or wants to deal with an LDR. Your GF does not. As much as you need her, you have to respect her choice. Let her go.
Author lovesick21 Posted September 11, 2017 Author Posted September 11, 2017 Sorry for your pain but honestly it doesn't sound like she's "madly in love" with you. She's getting ready to move to another country, she already told you she wants a break, and she wasn't there for you when you needed her recently. I'm not sure what the crisis was that made you need to lean on her so heavily a mere week before she is set to leave (perhaps you can shed some light on this?) but you do come across as emotionally needy and that's usually a huge turnoff for women, especially for a woman who is already halfway checked out. Work on yourself, and don't make her move a miserable ending by whining and professing your undying love. Stop with the flowers and poems. If she really wanted to be in the relationship she wouldn't be moving across the globe. If it's meant to be you'll have another chance in the future. But objectively it seems to me this relationship has run its course. We were just coming off a ldr with me away fro the summer. We ended it a couple months ago in the summer only to have her say she really loved and missed me. A close family member of mine had becometerminally I'll. she was there to comfort me. Saw me and we talked about it for a bit just wish she was there for me more. She has told me countless times she'll have a hard time running into another person who loved her like i did and last night she said she'll be thinking about me lots. I am an emotional guy but only affter i recently told her so when I expected a shoulder to lean on. I don't consider myself needy.atlwast my as much as her. I guess it is what it is. Maybe we can revisit it.
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2017 Posted September 11, 2017 She got a taste of what an LDR looks like while you were apart this summer. She didn't like it & now knows she can't hack that for the next 9 months so she's ending things. She's right to know herself. I'm sorry about your ill family member. This is a bit of a double whammy. Although you shouldn't wait for her, when the distance is closed again if you are both still free & willing to try again, see what happens next year.
Author lovesick21 Posted September 11, 2017 Author Posted September 11, 2017 She got a taste of what an LDR looks like while you were apart this summer. She didn't like it & now knows she can't hack that for the next 9 months so she's ending things. She's right to know herself. I'm sorry about your ill family member. This is a bit of a double whammy. Although you shouldn't wait for her, when the distance is closed again if you are both still free & willing to try again, see what happens next year. Well we both decided it would be best for us to not continue it it wasn't her suggesting The a breakup it was sort of something we both knew would happen. Even in the face of that she still wanted to get back together so I know she really cares for me. Obviously not holding my breath and who knows maybe in 9 months from now I'll realize this wasn't for me. Just hard to understand why she was being distant all of a sudden and if that really means she's lost love for me and has closed all doors, just like that. Appreciate the kind words
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