1Jessie86 Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 I am a 30 year old, average looking Black female. Being a reserved person, I find that online dating is ideal for me. I am on numerous dating sites and no one seems interested in me. Maybe I am too forward with seeking a serious relationship. I have at least 6 pictures posted. I shared my hobbies and interests. This is what I have listed on my profile: "Looking for a true connection. . ." I am shy and quiet but once I get to know you, I'm fun to be around. I'm probably one of the most mellow females you'll ever meet. I love my dogs and am very outgoing with them. I'm simple, loyal, honest, dedicated and at this point in my life, I know what I want! I enjoy fun, humorous banter rather than long, endless "intellectual" conversations. But I may need help breaking open my shell first. I enjoy going out and trying new things as well as staying in and chilling on the couch. I'm here to meet someone that I can build a real connection with. Friends first. No hook ups please. If interested, say hi!." What am I doing wrong? I have much better luck online dating in my hometown of Arizona. I want to find true love. Should I just give up living in beautiful California and move back home to Arizona?
Caramelpopcorn Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 You're perhaps coming off way too serious and rigid and overall not too much fun or easy to talk to? Make it more simple, more warm and more playful, you will still attract the right guy even if you don't mention you're not looking for hookups. Seriously this has nothing to do with your location. It's your wording. 1
Author 1Jessie86 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Posted September 10, 2017 You're perhaps coming off way too serious and rigid and overall not too much fun or easy to talk to? Make it more simple, more warm and more playful, you will still attract the right guy even if you don't mention you're not looking for hookups. Seriously this has nothing to do with your location. It's your wording. I've been online dating for years and feel like I need to be upfront with my intentions so I don't waste my time talking to someone who doesn't have the same relationship goals as myself. But I'm willing to change. How can I change my wording?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 I've been online dating for years and feel like I need to be upfront with my intentions so I don't waste my time talking to someone who doesn't have the same relationship goals as myself. But I'm willing to change. How can I change my wording? Don't talk about being shy so much. In fact, don't talk about it at all. Just the fact that you're doing online dating will help you get over the initial hurdle of that. Men aren't going to want to meet someone who might be too afraid to talk to them on a date . 1
Caramelpopcorn Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 I've been online dating for years and feel like I need to be upfront with my intentions so I don't waste my time talking to someone who doesn't have the same relationship goals as myself. But I'm willing to change. How can I change my wording? You should be upfront with your intentions, absolutely, but it shouldn't be right on the front page. You should create that interest and curiousity so that they actually want to get to know your intentions. You're coming off like "I want a husband" and this doesn't create that attraction. You also don't need to write many paragraphs, let them ask you questions and find out that way. I always try to show my humor side too so they see that I'm a real human, not just words on a screen. You need to find the "bliss point" between salty and sweet cause that will keep them from getting "enough" of you. I want to give you examples but it'd only be what I personally would write, and that wouldn't be YOU. Think of it like a cover letter to a job. Spend more time thinking about it. 1
stillafool Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 I lived in L.A. in the 90s and it was easy to get dates. Maybe things have changed because of social media but I met men everywhere. Clubs, the beach, on the street, etc., and I am a Black female. Maybe you should get off the computer and get out there and meet men in person.
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