If she adds a dating profile picture while talking to me for weeks?

[NJ123]

So I've been chatting with this girl for the past almost 3 weeks now through text. We've been talking almost all day everyday since we met online except fot yesterday. Our schedules just haven't met up for the past few weeks since she's genuinely really busy. But we plan on meeting on Tuesday. The only thing is after going on the dating site after days, today I noticed she added a profile picture. I'm pretty sure she added it within the past few days since the last time I was on her profile was like 5 days ago & that picture wasn't on there. I'm just thinking is it possible I've been investing too much time talking with her these past few weeks & she isn't as into me as I thought if she's still adding pictures? I know since we haven't been on a date yet that she can do what she wants but it makes me think she already made her mind up that she only plans on seeing me once if she's adding pictures after we agreed to a date time finally. I also noticed she didn't message me last night at all which is a first. But than I messaged her before & she responded. Not sure if I'm looking into these things too much or if there's something to it that she lost interest a bit or something within the past day or two.

Edited September 10, 2017 by NJ123

[Zahara]

I'm sure she is meeting/dating other men and you should with other women as well. I don't think she's giving you a pity date but may just want to meet you to see if there's anything more than text chemistry. You're a potential just like the other men than she is talking to and dating. Just go for the date and see where it goes. You're way ahead of yourself and that's a potential for disappointment. Keep your expectations low and stop overthinking.

[NJ123]

I'm sure she is meeting/dating other men and you should with other women as well. I don't think she's giving you a pity date but may just want to meet you to see if there's anything more than text chemistry. You're a potential just like the other men than she is talking to and dating. Just go for the date and see where it goes. You're way ahead of yourself and that's a potential for disappointment. Keep your expectations low and stop overthinking.

 

It just seems it would be very difficult for her to be meeting/dating other guys with her busy schedule. She's usually out with friends somewhere or at work. We've been talking a lot these past few weeks, some days almost throughout the day. So unless she's lying about where she is at times than it's doubtful she's been dating others since talking to me. I do think that maybe she feels it's not going to work out with me or that she's possibly talking to other guys though if she added a profile picture a few days ago though.

[Popsicle]

Surely you can wait until Tuesday before you jump to any conclusions? She is wise to be waiting until Tuesday too.

[Zahara]

It just seems it would be very difficult for her to be meeting/dating other guys with her busy schedule. She's usually out with friends somewhere or at work. We've been talking a lot these past few weeks, some days almost throughout the day. So unless she's lying about where she is at times than it's doubtful she's been dating others since talking to me. I do think that maybe she feels it's not going to work out with me or that she's possibly talking to other guys though if she added a profile picture a few days ago though.

 

This is why it's never good to spend too much time connecting over a phone. You build an image/irrational expectations of someone you haven't even met. And you certainly have because you're already in a tizzy. The only thing you know about her is your communication over TEXT -- it should all be taken with a grain of salt. People can be whatever they want to be, tell you whatever you want to hear. So, don't take it all so seriously -- you haven't even met her and you're already analyzing her moves.

 

Just go for the date on Tuesday and go from there. Too much overthinking.

 

It seems you've attached rather quickly. Not a good way to go when you are doing OLD. You need to have thicker skin.

[NJ123]

Surely you can wait until Tuesday before you jump to any conclusions? She is wise to be waiting until Tuesday too.

 

What do you mean exactly? I guess I'm just a bit disappointed that she added a profile picture even after spending so much time talking to her. She's been investing a lot of her time these past few weeks talking to me but she still added a picture anyway. It's hard not to think that maybe she already made her mind up about me & doesn't plan on more than one date. I wouldn't personally add a picture at a time I'm investing a lot of time talking to someone. It just sends out a wrong message in my opinion.

[NJ123]

This is why it's never good to spend too much time connecting over a phone. You build an image/irrational expectations of someone you haven't even met. And you certainly have because you're already in a tizzy. The only thing you know about her is your communication over TEXT -- it should all be taken with a grain of salt. People can be whatever they want to be, tell you whatever you want to hear. So, don't take it all so seriously -- you haven't even met her and you're already analyzing her moves.

 

Just go for the date on Tuesday and go from there. Too much overthinking.

 

It seems you've attached rather quickly. Not a good way to go when you are doing OLD. You need to have thicker skin.

 

I agree I'm learning that now finally that too much talking through text maybe isn't the way to go. It might be me that's turned off by something about her when we meet. I guess I'll just have to see how it goes on Tuesday. I still think it sends a wrong message though to be adding a profile picture at a time where they're investing a lot of their time in you though. I would never do that personally.

[Popsicle]

What do you mean exactly? I guess I'm just a bit disappointed that she added a profile picture even after spending so much time talking to her. She's been investing a lot of her time these past few weeks talking to me but she still added a picture anyway. It's hard not to think that maybe she already made her mind up about me & doesn't plan on more than one date. I wouldn't personally add a picture at a time I'm investing a lot of time talking to someone. It just sends out a wrong message in my opinion.

 

I mean, it's not wise for either of you to be getting too invested (emotionally!) in each other before meeting in person. That includes continuing to be active on the dating site. You need to see if you have something real in person first.

 

Put your anxieties aside for a couple of days.

[pumpkinpie1]

What do you mean exactly? I guess I'm just a bit disappointed that she added a profile picture even after spending so much time talking to her. She's been investing a lot of her time these past few weeks talking to me but she still added a picture anyway. It's hard not to think that maybe she already made her mind up about me & doesn't plan on more than one date. I wouldn't personally add a picture at a time I'm investing a lot of time talking to someone. It just sends out a wrong message in my opinion.

 

You are not in a relationship of ANY kind with her and she doesn't owe you anything. Just because you have decided that she's the one and that you won't continue meeting other people while talking to her doesn't mean she's decided that too. She's not doing anything wrong by continuing to meet other people on the dating site. She's probably assuming you're talking to other women as well.

 

Also..I'm sorry, but nobody is THAT busy. It sounds like maybe she is just enjoying the attention you're paying her and has no intention of actually dating you.

 

Start talking to other women.

[Zahara]

I still think it sends a wrong message though to be adding a profile picture at a time where they're investing a lot of their time in you though. I would never do that personally.

 

She owes you nothing. You both don't know each other. She's allowed to keep her profile active and update it. This is online dating. It's a numbers game. Putting all your eggs in one basket, especially when you haven't even met is unrealistic.

[Popsicle]

So if you want her off the market, then ask her to be your girlfriend today, and take her off the market.

 

 

 

Oh, I bet you won't do that because it's too soon, right?

 

 

 

Yes, it is too soon.

 

For you both!

[NJ123]

I mean, it's not wise for either of you to be getting too invested (emotionally!) in each other before meeting in person. That includes continuing to be active on the dating site. You need to see if you have something real in person first.

 

Put your anxieties aside for a couple of days.

 

Yes, very true. I just feel maybe I've been investing too much time in her before we ever even met. She's been investing a lot of her time in me too though & even apologizes a lot of the time when she doesn't respond back quick due to being busy or whatever. It's just an odd move for her to still be adding profile pictures at a time she's investing so much of her time talking to me though. Like I said I just would never think to do that. Only afterwards if I knew it wouldn't work out for sure with someone would I add new pictures but not during a time I'm investing a lot of time in someone.

[NJ123]

You are not in a relationship of ANY kind with her and she doesn't owe you anything. Just because you have decided that she's the one and that you won't continue meeting other people while talking to her doesn't mean she's decided that too. She's not doing anything wrong by continuing to meet other people on the dating site. She's probably assuming you're talking to other women as well.

 

Also..I'm sorry, but nobody is THAT busy. It sounds like maybe she is just enjoying the attention you're paying her and has no intention of actually dating you.

 

Start talking to other women.

 

She is genuinely a very busy woman though. She works a lot & always has plans with friends & such to do things. She's not lying since she sends me stuff on snapchat of her out a lot with friends. She also tells me some pretty personal things as well as sending me photos of her without makeup which makes me think she feels comfortable enough with me to do that.

[NJ123]

She owes you nothing. You both don't know each other. She's allowed to keep her profile active and update it. This is online dating. It's a numbers game. Putting all your eggs in one basket, especially when you haven't even met is unrealistic.

 

I know she owes me nothing but it just makes me think why is she investing so much time on me? Literally some days we can be talking for hours throughout the day.

[NJ123]

So if you want her off the market, then ask her to be your girlfriend today, and take her off the market.

 

 

 

Oh, I bet you won't do that because it's too soon, right?

 

 

 

Yes, it is too soon.

 

For you both!

 

I know, but she's still been investing a lot of her time talking to me. I guess some people just have different ways of doing things. I don't think anyone would be happy with seeing someone they've been talking to a lot updating their profile pictures.

[Zahara]

I know she owes me nothing but it just makes me think why is she investing so much time on me? Literally some days we can be talking for hours throughout the day.

 

Maybe she likes the attention. It doesn't mean that you're the one and she's completely invested in you. She could even be texting other men. You don't know what she's doing. You're someone that is on her radar. And I am sure she has other guys on her radar as well. She's updating her profile to appeal to the men on there so she's not sitting there placing all her hopes on you. What you're doing is unrealistic. You should be dating other women, interacting with them. Figuring out their potential as you go along rather than honing in on just one person.

 

You're placing too much investment over text conversations with someone you have never even met. And don't project what you will do onto someone else. Yours is not realistic and may likely backfire when you are doing OLD. You need thick skin and a good dose of self-confidence to do OLD. There's all kinds of people on there and rejection is part and parcel. So, don't get so ahead of yourself, lower your expectations and have fun with this. If you're going in desperately wanting to claim a relationship with the first one that shows you attention, you're going to be disappointed.

[Popsicle]

I know, but she's still been investing a lot of her time talking to me. I guess some people just have different ways of doing things. I don't think anyone would be happy with seeing someone they've been talking to a lot updating their profile pictures.

 

She might just be chatty. Or extroverted. Some women love to chat.

I have a friend like that. She will chat all day with a guy she doesn't even like that much. She just needs a lot of attention and social interaction.

 

You need to meet her to get a better feel. It's only a couple days away, be patient. Go outside and do something rather than think about this.

[pumpkinpie1]

She is genuinely a very busy woman though. She works a lot & always has plans with friends & such to do things. She's not lying since she sends me stuff on snapchat of her out a lot with friends. She also tells me some pretty personal things as well as sending me photos of her without makeup which makes me think she feels comfortable enough with me to do that.

 

I'm not trying to be mean, but you have invested way, way too much in this girl. Nothing you've said about her so far has me convinced that she's even remotely into you.

 

She talks to you like a friend. She could easily skip a night out with her friends to meet you but are not a priority to her. She sends you pics of herself without make up because she's not concerned about attracting you, and because I'm betting you compliment her constantly and she loves that.

 

You really, really need to detach. That'll be the real test. If you detach and she starts pursuing you, you'll know she's interested. Right now, she is not.

[elaine567]

She is genuinely a very busy woman though. She works a lot & always has plans with friends & such to do things. She's not lying since she sends me stuff on snapchat of her out a lot with friends. She also tells me some pretty personal things as well as sending me photos of her without makeup which makes me think she feels comfortable enough with me to do that.

 

OK she is busy with her friends, but is not dating more important than plans with friends for people who are seriously looking for a "mate"?

If she is too busy to just go on a date for a few hours, then I guess she will be far too busy to have a bf in her life...

[NJ123]

Maybe she likes the attention. It doesn't mean that you're the one and she's completely invested in you. She could even be texting other men. You don't know what she's doing. You're someone that is on her radar. And I am sure she has other guys on her radar as well. She's updating her profile to appeal to the men on there so she's not sitting there placing all her hopes on you. What you're doing is unrealistic. You should be dating other women, interacting with them. Figuring out their potential as you go along rather than honing in on just one person.

 

You're placing too much investment over text conversations with someone you have never even met. And don't project what you will do onto someone else. Yours is not realistic and may likely backfire when you are doing OLD. You need thick skin and a good dose of self-confidence to do OLD. There's all kinds of people on there and rejection is part and parcel. So, don't get so ahead of yourself, lower your expectations and have fun with this. If you're going in desperately wanting to claim a relationship with the first one that shows you attention, you're going to be disappointed.

 

Possibly, I've definitely thought of that. I'm starting to think I invested way too much of my time on her. I don't know why she would tell me personal things about herself though or send me photos of herself without makeup on. I might take a step back in texting her until we meet on Tuesday though. I was just thinking she was really into me due to how much she was talking to me, yet now I'm thinking I might just be some guy among some other guys she's talking to.

[NJ123]

She might just be chatty. Or extroverted. Some women love to chat.

I have a friend like that. She will chat all day with a guy she doesn't even like that much. She just needs a lot of attention and social interaction.

 

You need to meet her to get a better feel. It's only a couple days away, be patient. Go outside and do something rather than think about this.

 

Yes, she's an admitted extrovert that loves to be social. I just feel I might of screwed up by investing so much time in someone that I never met. I'm thinking that maybe she's just been liking the attention.

[NJ123]

I'm not trying to be mean, but you have invested way, way too much in this girl. Nothing you've said about her so far has me convinced that she's even remotely into you.

 

She talks to you like a friend. She could easily skip a night out with her friends to meet you but are not a priority to her. She sends you pics of herself without make up because she's not concerned about attracting you, and because I'm betting you compliment her constantly and she loves that.

 

You really, really need to detach. That'll be the real test. If you detach and she starts pursuing you, you'll know she's interested. Right now, she is not.

 

Yeah, good points. Now I'm even more confused on what her motives are since some in here are making fairly valid points. Maybe she only views me as a "friend" & already knows that she only plans on seeing me once to just say lets be friends afterwards.

Edited September 10, 2017 by NJ123

[pumpkinpie1]

Yeah, good points. Now I'm even more confused on what her motives are since some in here are making fairly valid points. Maybe she only views me as a "friend" & already knows that she only plans on seeing me once to just say lets be friends afterwards.

 

Why worry about her motives? Worry about yourself. Start talking to other girls on the site. Once you connect with others, she won't matter so much.

[NJ123]

Why worry about her motives? Worry about yourself. Start talking to other girls on the site. Once you connect with others, she won't matter so much.

 

True. I guess I feel I thought I was more of a priority to her than I really am. So it's disappointing to know I'm probably just another guy to her.

[GemmaUK]

Crikey man!

You two haven't even met yet so you don't even know if you will be attracted to each other!

 

OLD just doesn't work in the way you seem to be expecting.

Just because you've been in contact it doesn't mean anything is a sure thing.