Ray411 Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 Hi folks, Been talking to a girl off of social media for past two months. We both made it clear we are just friends and not looking for a relationship. I recently saw her in person and it was a great time. However, the day before I left I had to drop off this gift I got her (Belgium chocolates), but couldn't speak to her verbally as she was busy. I dropped it off by her house and apologized that I couldn't see her to give it to her. However, her friend told me she got weirded out by it. I genuinely was trying to do a friendly gesture and haven't heard from her in more than a week. Should I just wait and be patient by giving her space? She's freaking out for no reason. Can I get your thoughts?
Bastile Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 (edited) You seem ashamed of your own sexuality (and therefore, afraid of your own shadow). Will you be honest and accept that your behaviours were with the intention of developing a sexual relationship with this woman? Don't think there's anywhere to go in terms of improvement without that. Edited September 10, 2017 by Bastile
coolheadal Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 Hi folks, Been talking to a girl off of social media for past two months. We both made it clear we are just friends and not looking for a relationship. I recently saw her in person and it was a great time. However, the day before I left I had to drop off this gift I got her (Belgium chocolates), but couldn't speak to her verbally as she was busy. I dropped it off by her house and apologized that I couldn't see her to give it to her. However, her friend told me she got weirded out by it. I genuinely was trying to do a friendly gesture and haven't heard from her in more than a week. Should I just wait and be patient by giving her space? She's freaking out for no reason. Can I get your thoughts? Nope, you already made a fool of yourself with her so you have to eat blank now!
Vinny56 Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 Well if you did this purely out of a friendly gesture then you don't have a lot to worry about it's her who needs to wrap her head around it. It's just chocolates after all. Flowers would've been a different situation though.
Author Ray411 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Posted September 10, 2017 Yes, I was just trying to be nice, but don't get why she can't at least reply back.
coolheadal Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 Yes, I was just trying to be nice, but don't get why she can't at least reply back. Why should she Ray? Come on think about it! Her GF told you already what happen the gift and wouldn't even bother to think about her ever again
Cheryl.A Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 I'm not sure why anyone would "freak out" about something like this, but I can tell you that buying her chocolates is a clear sign that you'd like to be more than friends. She's aware of that, and for some reason instead of handing the situation maturely and just graciously accepting, she's getting all worked up about it. Most girls I know would just make a mental note 'he would like more' and just graciously accept the gift. But apparently she's really spooked for some reason by the fact that you're attracted to her. Probably just insecurity on her part. However, tbh, you were setting yourself up to get played. It's a basic mistake to think that you can buy a woman's love with gifts, and attempts to do so are usually futile and will just make you look like a sucker. I've seen this sort of thing play out with myself and many of my friends. I've had guys take me on shopping sprees, pay my bills, pay my tuition, "loan" me thousands of dollars, and even had a couple who bought me cars, one of which was a new Lexus. Of course, I knew what they were after, but this was irrelevant to me. They knew I had a bf, so I figured that if they wanted to try and buy me that was their prerogative, even tho it was useless seeing how I'm not some kind of cheap whore than can be bought. But if they were stupid and desperate enough to insult me like that, then yes I will laugh all the way to the bank. So it sounds like you were lucky. Had she happily accepted the chocolates, I'm sure more gifts would have been coming, and who knows how long you might have kept buying her things until you realized it was useless. So I think it's a good thing that she was so put off by it. She saved you a lot of time and money.
act00 Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 I don't know. A box of chocolates can be considered a romantic gift. Notice the Valentine's Day displays of chocolates every year. You dropped by her home, presumably unannounced, to deliver this gift. If she's freaking out, maybe it's because your actions suggest you want a more romantic relationship with her, when it has been spelled out clearly you're just friends, or maybe she's weirded out that you showed up at her house, unannounced and unplanned, and she caught a creepy vibe from you doing that. Unless you had discussed, in advance, about stopping by to drop off the chocolate, I can see where the freak-out is coming from. On the other hand, if you had made an arrangement with her to stop by and drop off the chocolate, and she knew and communicated with you that she may not be home, and alerted the roommate, then I don't know why she's freaking out. 2
Bastile Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 Yes, I was just trying to be nice, but don't get why she can't at least reply back. You buy your friends random gifts, and deliver them? ...want to be friends?
fred123 Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 I'm not sure why anyone would "freak out" about something like this, but I can tell you that buying her chocolates is a clear sign that you'd like to be more than friends. She's aware of that, and for some reason instead of handing the situation maturely and just graciously accepting, she's getting all worked up about it. Most girls I know would just make a mental note 'he would like more' and just graciously accept the gift. But apparently she's really spooked for some reason by the fact that you're attracted to her. Probably just insecurity on her part. However, tbh, you were setting yourself up to get played. It's a basic mistake to think that you can buy a woman's love with gifts, and attempts to do so are usually futile and will just make you look like a sucker. I've seen this sort of thing play out with myself and many of my friends. I've had guys take me on shopping sprees, pay my bills, pay my tuition, "loan" me thousands of dollars, and even had a couple who bought me cars, one of which was a new Lexus. Of course, I knew what they were after, but this was irrelevant to me. They knew I had a bf, so I figured that if they wanted to try and buy me that was their prerogative, even tho it was useless seeing how I'm not some kind of cheap whore than can be bought. But if they were stupid and desperate enough to insult me like that, then yes I will laugh all the way to the bank. So it sounds like you were lucky. Had she happily accepted the chocolates, I'm sure more gifts would have been coming, and who knows how long you might have kept buying her things until you realized it was useless. So I think it's a good thing that she was so put off by it. She saved you a lot of time and money. Wow what a girl you are! U didnt even refuse to give the stuff back. Gold digging whore???
Caramelpopcorn Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 First, Belgian chocolate. Not Belgium chocolate. Ok? Second, it was a nice friendly gesture, she's overreacting, you've talked for two months. It's just chocolate, not an engagement ring! Third, she's not playing hard to get. She's just freaking out and maybe she feels you stepped some boundaries. Just let her go. Fourth, so you still got some chocolate? Hit me up.
Author Ray411 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Posted September 10, 2017 Haha sorry autocorrect. I just bought them because I was in Belgium for awhile and she lives in a city. I just thought it be a nice gesture, but guess she got spooked by it. Her friend messaged me few days ago and I politely responded about the situation. I am sure she told her friend to text me. I am just giving her time and space to "chill out." She definitely overreacted to this! If it was flowers would understand.
Robratory Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 We both made it clear we are just friends and not looking for a relationship. Really? Is that how it really went down? Or did she make it clear she wasn't interested and you went along with LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends)? Never go along with that. Like Bastile says, don't be ashamed of your sexuality. Unless you're extremely handsome or extremely wealthy, if you want to have sex with any regularity, you have to develop a relationship with a woman. Therefore, women who don't want relationships are lost causes, and why should you spend time on lost causes? For next time, save the chocolates for the girl who wants you to play hide-and-seek with the chocolates and her body.
Author Ray411 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Posted September 10, 2017 That's exactly how it went down. I am not even in the mentality to date anyone just got out of one recently. I just found her a genuine person and not trying to date from a different city. Haven't heard back from her in a week. Maybe she want she me to approach but think that's wrong.
Author Ray411 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Posted September 10, 2017 She never made any clear. We established awhile back we are friend and that's that.
Author Ray411 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Posted September 10, 2017 I told her that I was stopping by! She told me to stop by.
HarmonyDriven Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 First, Belgian chocolate. Not Belgium chocolate. Ok? Second, it was a nice friendly gesture, she's overreacting, you've talked for two months. It's just chocolate, not an engagement ring! This ^^^^ and OP responded auto correct.....made me laugh out loud.... OP, if she wigged out over Belgian chocolate, I'd hate to see how she would react to a 3 Musketeer bar or Snickers.....? IMO, she did you a favor, let it go so you don't have to buy her more candy. There are other fish in the sea who would have appreciated your gesture....maybe Swedish Fish......? 1
spiderowl Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 Whatever the purpose of a gesture or how kind, it is best not to turn up at a woman's house unannounced or unplanned. In the days when people did not even have telephones, it was the only way, but now people usually expect warning.
lovephule Posted September 10, 2017 Posted September 10, 2017 That's exactly how it went down. I am not even in the mentality to date anyone just got out of one recently. I just found her a genuine person and not trying to date from a different city. Haven't heard back from her in a week. Maybe she want she me to approach but think that's wrong. Why put your question in the dating section instead of the friendship section if you have no interest in that direction? 1
Author Ray411 Posted September 12, 2017 Author Posted September 12, 2017 She replied to one of my texts. Good sign she doesn't hate me?
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