Hatelove_1 Posted September 9, 2017 Posted September 9, 2017 Hurt is an understament. I continue hurting myself. I caved in and I texted my ex, he told me he is seeing someone new who is pretty, smart and “mature”. He is also HAPPY now that my “toxidity” is no longer holding him back, therefore he is ready to meet someone he is compatible with to share a life. He feels HAPPY and complete and ready to give the world to someone. This stung like crazy. We broke up a WEEK ago and he is officially moving on. Granted, I can’t hold anyone back from doing what they want and please but it HURTS like hell when you thought youd spend the rest of your life with this person. Im nowhere near close moving on foreal. Can someone please give me some survival tips, i feel like im already dead inside. I barely eat, i cry all day, seriously this is hell. Also can someone share some success stories of MOVING ON? I feel like i’ll never find someone like him. The fact that he is ready to move on maes me sick because I feel like he wont make the same mistakes he made with me. I consider his next serious gf “lucky one”. He’s learned his lessons. He was perfect at one point and then he ruined it. Now hes ready to be perfect again for someone else and I feel like he will be. I was his lesson and now im stuck alone. When I met him I was ready for something real and he wasnt. I feel like he’ll get married and i’ll still be stuck single or not in a serious relationship. Anyone felt like this and found love again?
stillafool Posted September 9, 2017 Posted September 9, 2017 You've only been broken up a week and already he's found someone more pretty, smart and mature that he's compatible with? Me thinks he's lying.
TwinFlameGone Posted September 9, 2017 Posted September 9, 2017 I like this post. It reminds me of my first heartbreak. Trust me, there will be many more. The guy sounds a bit immature. I'd never cloat about how excellent my life is to an ex-GF. I'd keep it simple if I was with someone or married, but not go beyond that. Also... I saw that your broke NC. Your result is what I don't want. It reminded me to NOT contact my ex-GF first. Lol
Author Hatelove_1 Posted September 9, 2017 Author Posted September 9, 2017 I feel pathetic. This is the third time this guy and I break up over the same reasons why I should have never given this guy a second OR THIRD CHANCE. We were going on a vacation and this guy was going to propose to me in a week. How do we go from that to hes seeing someone else who is COMPATIBLE with him and he is HAPPy. Seriously FH.
Lphan301 Posted September 9, 2017 Posted September 9, 2017 I understand your pain you're going thru cause I was there 3 weeks but much worst where I felt I didn't want to live anymore. I seriously had suicidal thoughts that crossed my mind because of everything has happened too much to me at the same time. I had a melt down. If you read my post you'll see... anyhow, long story short. I went to seek help. I'm seeing a therapist weekly and I have learn so much about myself. Plus I was put on antidepressant which emotionally numb me and help with the pain. But talking to someone help me see clarity. Families and friends are great support but they don't understand what you been thru. Plus they will always take your side. You want to talked to someone who is not biased where they can show you the problem and work on a better you. I highly recommend this route.. After 3 week in therapy, and NC HE called. I wanted him so bad 3 weeks ago but now I have no desire because I see things clearer. People don't change unless they make it happen dedicatedly. You said you worried your ex will be a better him for the next girl. Trust me, it will be temporary. Right now he's on his best behavior. If he not working on himself to be a better him, he will bring the same mistake to the next relationship. Like I said, people don't change and it takes two to tango. Sound like you guys had broken up over the same issues multiple times which I don't know what it is.. but if you can't resolve it the second time around, you need to realized he wasn't good for you. Don't self blame yourself for for everything.. work on you and try to recognized the perfect mate for you when he comes your way again. 1
Author Hatelove_1 Posted September 9, 2017 Author Posted September 9, 2017 I understand your pain you're going thru cause I was there 3 weeks but much worst where I felt I didn't want to live anymore. I seriously had suicidal thoughts that crossed my mind because of everything has happened too much to me at the same time. I had a melt down. If you read my post you'll see... anyhow, long story short. I went to seek help. I'm seeing a therapist weekly and I have learn so much about myself. Plus I was put on antidepressant which emotionally numb me and help with the pain. But talking to someone help me see clarity. Families and friends are great support but they don't understand what you been thru. Plus they will always take your side. You want to talked to someone who is not biased where they can show you the problem and work on a better you. I highly recommend this route.. After 3 week in therapy, and NC HE called. I wanted him so bad 3 weeks ago but now I have no desire because I see things clearer. People don't change unless they make it happen dedicatedly. You said you worried your ex will be a better him for the next girl. Trust me, it will be temporary. Right now he's on his best behavior. If he not working on himself to be a better him, he will bring the same mistake to the next relationship. Like I said, people don't change and it takes two to tango. Sound like you guys had broken up over the same issues multiple times which I don't know what it is.. but if you can't resolve it the second time around, you need to realized he wasn't good for you. Don't self blame yourself for for everything.. work on you and try to recognized the perfect mate for you when he comes your way again. Basically we broke up because while I wanted to give him a second chance I couldn't forgive him for doing what he is currently doing. He decided to find himself a new girlfriend after leaving me for no legit reason (at this time we actually had no real issues, I guess he was just BORED) and guess what I couldn't get past how fast it happened and then he came back to me 2 weeks after dumping that girl. He also posted it on social media and everywhere. I thought it was disrespectful. I tried but how can you love someone and dump them like trash?
Lphan301 Posted September 9, 2017 Posted September 9, 2017 I understand your pain you're going thru cause I was there 3 weeks but much worst where I felt I didn't want to live anymore. I seriously had suicidal thoughts that crossed my mind because of everything has happened too much to me at the same time. I had a melt down. If you read my post you'll see... anyhow, long story short. I went to seek help. I'm seeing a therapist weekly and I have learn so much about myself. Plus I was put on antidepressant which emotionally numb me and help with the pain. But talking to someone help me see clarity. Families and friends are great support but they don't understand what you been thru. Plus they will always take your side. You want to talked to someone who is not biased where they can show you the problem and work on a better you. I highly recommend this route.. After 3 week in therapy, and NC HE called. I wanted him so bad 3 weeks ago but now I have no desire because I see things clearer. People don't change unless they make it happen dedicatedly. You said you worried your ex will be a better him for the next girl. Trust me, it will be temporary. Right now he's on his best behavior. If he not working on himself to be a better him, he will bring the same mistake to the next relationship. Like I said, people don't change and it takes two to tango. Sound like you guys had broken up over the same issues multiple times which I don't know what it is.. but if you can't resolve it the second time around, you need to realized he wasn't good for you. Don't self blame yourself for for everything.. work on you and try to recognized the perfect mate for you when he comes your way again. 1
Author Hatelove_1 Posted September 15, 2017 Author Posted September 15, 2017 thank you all. I hope this all ends soon.
Jchav123 Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 I am in the same boat you are about my ex, except she really is a toxic person but nevertheless I found myself wanting to start a family with her even after I spent most of this year pushing her away! I told her I wasn't worth her time (I was seriously depressed) and to find someone else. So she did. And what do you know hes like the "most amazing perfect" guy within a single week of us being broken up. The point is what you are going through is perfectly normal. I have done nothing but talk to others face to face, talked to people online, and done research about this very topic for the last month or so and I keep seeing people like us sharing their stories and reaching out. Even what your ex has said about a perfect girl in a week is pretty standard and wont last. Or maybe isn't even true? Living well is the best revenge, and the best therapy for you right now. Here are some things that are truly helping me cope right now and hopefully will help you: 1. Write a letter or email to him explaining how you feel or why you can't understand what is going on. BUT DON'T SEND IT!! Write it like you would be talking to him in your living room just the 2 of you. 2. Make a list of all the bad things that happened in the relationship. Study it and figure out if it's truly worth feeling this way over. (In my case it wasn't). Just be careful not to explain everything away. If it's something you didn't like. It's bad. Period. 3. Reach out to online communities (like this amazing one!) or friends and share your story. You don't even have to ask for advice, but telling others about your experience will let them comment on their own or give you their take and you will feel much less alone. 4. Remove all things that remind you of the relationship. This might be extreme but I'd say it's better than how you're feeling right now. 5. If you are NC with him, remain that way. Live life and enjoy yourself. Women always have an easier time finding things to do and people to hang out with. Us men tend to be lame at it! If you aren't NC right now then let him know you are happy he is happy then go NC.
Author Hatelove_1 Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 ex unblocked me on whatsapp, tomorrow is his birthday. I don't want to look into it. Technically I broke NC by checking to see if he had unblocked me SMH. Anyways I will NOT text him. I had blocked him too. Should I leave him blocked? or should I leave lines of communication open? Im confused I still love this guy but I don't want to know what he is up to.
Author Hatelove_1 Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 ehh maybe I don't feel so bad after all, I just got a flower delivery to my office. LOL.
stillafool Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 ex unblocked me on whatsapp, tomorrow is his birthday. I don't want to look into it. Technically I broke NC by checking to see if he had unblocked me SMH. Anyways I will NOT text him. I had blocked him too. Should I leave him blocked? or should I leave lines of communication open? Im confused I still love this guy but I don't want to know what he is up to. Then block him and resist the temptation to snoop.
Jchav123 Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 ex unblocked me on whatsapp, tomorrow is his birthday. I don't want to look into it. Technically I broke NC by checking to see if he had unblocked me SMH. Anyways I will NOT text him. I had blocked him too. Should I leave him blocked? or should I leave lines of communication open? Im confused I still love this guy but I don't want to know what he is up to. ehh maybe I don't feel so bad after all, I just got a flower delivery to my office. LOL. Seems pretty clear what he is up to. Especially since tomorrow is his birthday. No one wants to be alone on their birthday. I feel like you're opening yourself up to an opportunity of more negative emotion. History tends to repeat itself in situations like these. I've sent flowers to a girl I pushed away because I wanted us to start talking again and to say I am sorry. Really all it got both of us was more pain. 1
Author Hatelove_1 Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 Then block him and resist the temptation to snoop. This is the Quote of the day. I decided to leave him blocked and continue moving forward.
Author Hatelove_1 Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 (edited) Seems pretty clear what he is up to. Especially since tomorrow is his birthday. No one wants to be alone on their birthday. I feel like you're opening yourself up to an opportunity of more negative emotion. History tends to repeat itself in situations like these. I've sent flowers to a girl I pushed away because I wanted us to start talking again and to say I am sorry. Really all it got both of us was more pain. I have no Idea why he's unblocked me, last time he told me he was very interested in someone and he was going on dates with this girl and he was finally happy. but certainly makes me wonder. Does that mean he's maybe possibly hoping for a text? what can it mean? yet i don't want to look into it. But I should resist the temptation to snoop. He wasn't the person who sent the flowers but someone at my job who has a crush on me. This guy is actually cute and I kind of like him, hes just sooooo much older. Edited September 20, 2017 by Hatelove_1
Jchav123 Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 He wasn't the person who sent the flowers but someone at my job who has a crush on me. This guy is actually cute and I kind of like him, hes just sooooo much older. So much older as in 5-10 years? Or something like 20+ years? 5-10 years difference between SOs really isn't that uncommon. Could be worth exploring though in your current state I feel like it might be a rebound situation so I'd be weary of jumping into something serious. 1
Author Hatelove_1 Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 So much older as in 5-10 years? Or something like 20+ years? 5-10 years difference between SOs really isn't that uncommon. Could be worth exploring though in your current state I feel like it might be a rebound situation so I'd be weary of jumping into something serious. More like a 16 year difference. I am 27 and this guy is 43. He's such a gentleman though. Im torn. Yeah probably a rebound situation anyway but I like him hes so nice to me.
Jchav123 Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 More like a 16 year difference. I am 27 and this guy is 43. He's such a gentleman though. Im torn. Yeah probably a rebound situation anyway but I like him hes so nice to me. Of course he is a gentleman, hes at the age where he knows better. All I can say is be careful.
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