topbanana Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 we hung out a few times but never really called it dating because of college this fall. so we just kinda liked each other and that was that. in the spring things got a little more flirty and serious. until i found out he’d been dating this girl since february. he “fell in love with her at first sight.” but he still liked me. so i told him to pick, he wouldn’t, so i picked for him. he dated her and we stopped talking. until last night. i texted him and he almost immediately called me. it got kinda flirty, and i said, “stop, what are we doing. you have a girlfriend and we’ve been through this already.” so he proceeded to tell me he broke up with her because he couldn’t stop thinking about me. he wanted me. the whole time. i didn’t know what to say. Two problems: 1. I don’t know if I miss him or the idea of him. 2. My friends and family all think I’d be dumb to go back. Thoughts?
No_Go Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 If he broke up with her because he was thinking about you, exactly the same will happen to you if you become his new gf/toy. Stay away. we hung out a few times but never really called it dating because of college this fall. so we just kinda liked each other and that was that. in the spring things got a little more flirty and serious. until i found out he’d been dating this girl since february. he “fell in love with her at first sight.” but he still liked me. so i told him to pick, he wouldn’t, so i picked for him. he dated her and we stopped talking. until last night. i texted him and he almost immediately called me. it got kinda flirty, and i said, “stop, what are we doing. you have a girlfriend and we’ve been through this already.” so he proceeded to tell me he broke up with her because he couldn’t stop thinking about me. he wanted me. the whole time. i didn’t know what to say. Two problems: 1. I don’t know if I miss him or the idea of him. 2. My friends and family all think I’d be dumb to go back. Thoughts? 1
Gaeta Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 LOL you won't fall for that crap right?? Why didn't HE text you when he broke up to tell you how much you had been on his mind?? You think he just waited for you to text him? Don't be this naive, please. 2
d0nnivain Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 If you are back a college just date a guy from your school. It will be much easier. 1
nothingsintheflowerz Posted September 8, 2017 Posted September 8, 2017 He's just being manipulative. I wouldn't go back, and you shouldn't have/shouldn't message him from now on. 1
kendahke Posted September 8, 2017 Posted September 8, 2017 Thoughts? i texted him and he almost immediately called me. it got kinda flirty, and i said, “stop, what are we doing. you have a girlfriend My thoughts: Despite what has transpired since the last time you dealt with him, as far as you are concerned, you knew when you contacted him that he had a girlfriend, so your "righteous indignation" when he got flirty with you is pretty hollow and false here. Had he contacted you, done this and had not said that he was free, I'd say you would be right to take this approach. until i found out he’d been dating this girl since february. he “fell in love with her at first sight.” He is quite happy letting you remain in the dark about behavior which may potentially involve you. He did the last time you indulged flirty banter with him, because he wasn't the one who told you he had a girlfriend--you told him and then he said he wasn't going to choose between you two. Perhaps that's his way of maintaining the power position in the relationship---to keep his women guessing and off balance. So when someone new enters into his life, he's not going to tell either one of you that the other exists because that's not in his nature. Which means: you're going to be snooping his phone and being insecure because of how you got with him. This isn't a healthy example of what love and relationship is. This is a blueprint for pain and insecurity. I agree with your friends. Let him be, delete his number and stop calling him. 1
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