caring guy Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 How do i cope with jelousy. My partner has been 2 timing me for a couple weeks, but i know there's been no sex, as she's told me she wouldn't until she was finished with me. They have only seen each other 4 times 1 meal once at his & twice at hers. They both wanted sex on 1 night, they kissed & she got lovebite & she's been honest, i know. They wanted to go further, but she couldn't because of me. But. We have now finished, i love her with all my heart. Tommorow they're going out to dinner & i know they'l end up at hers. I can't stop imagining him & her, kissing, necking, being naked, all the things that they maybe shall do! On the bed we shared for 18 months. Her doing things to him & vica versa, it hurts & makes me so sick & anxious. Please, how can i deal with this. p.s her kids, how will they feel & think, they love me & tommorow or sometime next week he arrives & goes to bed with her, the girl is 11, she knows the score, how would she react. I'm sure she has heard us having sex in past as her room is next door, now someone else!!
theclash Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 awww no, caring guy, im crying for you. You sound like a really nice, charming, decent kinda guy, and i cant believe ANY woman would do that to a guy like you. I know it's hard (im in a similar boat) but you MUST move on. If you continue to imagine your ex partner having sex with someone else, you will only cause even more hurt. The next time you start to imagine your ex partner having sex with that guy, try this mind exercise. Close your eyes and freeze the pictures in your head of your ex and her lover, then slowly in your head, drain the colour from the picture till it's grey, then slowly drain the grey to a blank white sheet. Do this every time any thoughts of your ex come into your head
Merin Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by caring guy How do i cope with jelousy. My partner has been 2 timing me for a couple weeks, but i know there's been no sex, as she's told me she wouldn't until she was finished with me. They have only seen each other 4 times 1 meal once at his & twice at hers. They both wanted sex on 1 night, they kissed & she got lovebite & she's been honest, i know. They wanted to go further, but she couldn't because of me. But. We have now finished, i love her with all my heart. Tommorow they're going out to dinner & i know they'l end up at hers. I can't stop imagining him & her, kissing, necking, being naked, all the things that they maybe shall do! On the bed we shared for 18 months. Her doing things to him & vica versa, it hurts & makes me so sick & anxious. Please, how can i deal with this. p.s her kids, how will they feel & think, they love me & tommorow or sometime next week he arrives & goes to bed with her, the girl is 11, she knows the score, how would she react. I'm sure she has heard us having sex in past as her room is next door, now someone else!! Wow, well I cannot imagine the person you love telling you details like that and especially when they were suppose to STILL be with you You need to STOP contact with her.. this means not asking about the details of her life any longer from ANY source.. it doesn't help you to know who she is with or what she may be up too... If she chooses to bring this other Guy around her Kid's I should hope she would be smart enough not to begin an intimate relationship with him whilst her children are home and aware.... if her Little People love you the way you feel they do, they will begin to question her regarding where you are....
Author caring guy Posted August 16, 2005 Author Posted August 16, 2005 The Clash & Merin, thanks I do not blame her for all our probs, i have been having problems with anxiety & sometimes i self medicated with red wine & she didn't like that as she didn't drink, i had a fiew problems, but i kept it in the house for 'us' to deal with, not looking elsewhere, but i was never agressive, but we argued & i was pigheaded & sometimes said things i didn't mean, as you do in arguments! Apparently i drove her to cheat!, we argued once & it hit rock bottom & she said from that day, she said if she goes out into town at night, which was rarely with her sister & someone approached her, she'd . I am seeing a therapist, & i assume she thinks i'm not a good reliable future prospect, but never the less i always loved her but was a little selfish (as people with anxiety are), & didn't always show her how much she meant or how special she was! The song "Always on my mind" rings out, because the words are so relevant! I don't think she would have told me if she hadn't a love bite. She said she told me because she was being honest & didn't want to hide it from me! Even typing creates pain within me, i can just picture it, but 'the clash', i shall take your advice! Merin The kids do love me, the night i saw them last was when i was at hers when she arrived home from holiday that she'd been on with her mum & sister (i'd been looking after her house & pets, i did her garden, cooked a meal etc) , also the last night i saw her, when she slated me about everything, from what i wear, to things i said, to bad habits i have, as if she was trying to make me hate her. The kids ran to me & hugged me & kissed me, i even bathed the little lad & read him a story before bed!, she saw me doing this!! I wonder if the commitment i said to her about me wanting to havve a future & everything i'd said, hit home at all. I think they will ask about me! This guy she's seeing is 22, 9 years her junior,, is he gonna want to comit like i do, his msn profile says he likes drinking & WOMEN. I don't know many 22 year olds that want to tye themselves down with other peoples kids! Apparently he wants to meet the kids, i just can't envisage a 22 year old that is descent looking with the world at his feet, wanting to comit & be staying in a lot! i dunno!
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