ZayKayWill Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 So there is this new girl that I've been kinda messing around with. She invited me to a night club tomorrow. This is going to sound bad but I'm really not that attracted to her physically although I do like her as a person. My main question is this: Say I were to go to the club and flirt/hit on other girls...should I avoid doing that? There's nothing serious going on and as a matter of fact she friend zoned me earlier this week because apparently she found another guy that was more her age that she wanted to get involved with....only to 3 days later text me and tell me that she didn't like him after all and ended up friendzoning him too! So I'm yeah I'm guessing she's starting to get an inclination towards me again....just so we are all clear I'm not mad at her or trying to get revenge or anything. She had every right to do what she did, which is I guess why I'm on here asking what I'm asking. I get pretty flirty when it comes to night clubs/raves etc but I also don't want to hurt her feelings...any advice?
d0nnivain Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 Yes it would be rude for you to go out with her with the express intent to flirting with other women. You are free to do as you please but general manners dictate that you not rub her nose in it. 2
SammySammy Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 I generally don't do night clubs, but I think the point is to socialize. So, you should socialize. Talk to other women ... other people ... in general. 1
RecentChange Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 So am I understanding this right? You are having sex with a girl you are not that attracted to. She thought she met someone else, stopped having sex with you, now has ditched that guy, and you think she may start having sex with you again. Meanwhile she invited you clubbing, and you are wondering if it would be okay to hit in other girls while you are there with her? Yes it would be rude, you are there as her guest. But even more, if you aren't into her, why the time wasting? 3
thefooloftheyear Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 I dunno....My clubbing days are over, but back then we went with the guys....Not some girl(s)...we got them on the way back.... TFY 2
knabe Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 Umm....yeah. Pretty rude. It's sad this question even needs to be asked.
Author ZayKayWill Posted September 7, 2017 Author Posted September 7, 2017 Umm....yeah. Pretty rude. It's sad this question even needs to be asked. The thing is she said she just wanted to be friends, so I mean idk I guess at this point I'm a bit confused on where exactly we stand.
SammySammy Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 No time to be confused, youngin'. Pimp Hard, Pimp Harder 1
preraph Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 Don't go flirting with other women in front of a woman you're sleeping with. It's just bad form. And if she did it to you, that's bad form, too. Maybe you two need to stop boinking and start just being each other's wingperson and friends if you're not really both interested. 2
d0nnivain Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 The thing is she said she just wanted to be friends, so I mean idk I guess at this point I'm a bit confused on where exactly we stand. Are you sure she meant it? Many people say they just want to be friends but what they are really hoping is that with time & maybe some liquor it will turn to more. Again, I understand what words she used but it would still be un-gentlemanly of you to actively flirt with other women in front of her when she is the one who invited you to the club in the first place. If you both just coincidently ended up at the same place, you would be free to do as you pleased. 2
Miss Spider Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 If you guys are just friends I guess it's ok but I see generally messiness with being hang out buddies with ppl you've slept with
No_Go Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 Yeah it's gross. If I'm going anywhere with a date, I'm blind to the existence of other men. At least for me that's a nonnegotiable. Can't you just go to the club alone and then flirt? So there is this new girl that I've been kinda messing around with. She invited me to a night club tomorrow. This is going to sound bad but I'm really not that attracted to her physically although I do like her as a person. My main question is this: Say I were to go to the club and flirt/hit on other girls...should I avoid doing that? There's nothing serious going on and as a matter of fact she friend zoned me earlier this week because apparently she found another guy that was more her age that she wanted to get involved with....only to 3 days later text me and tell me that she didn't like him after all and ended up friendzoning him too! So I'm yeah I'm guessing she's starting to get an inclination towards me again....just so we are all clear I'm not mad at her or trying to get revenge or anything. She had every right to do what she did, which is I guess why I'm on here asking what I'm asking. I get pretty flirty when it comes to night clubs/raves etc but I also don't want to hurt her feelings...any advice?
central Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 Start by focusing on her. If she wants to pursue someone else, or responds to overtures from someone else, then you are free to do the same - as friends who have gone to a club together, but pursuing your own interests. If she does not do this, then just enjoy her company and don't accept future invitations of this sort. 2
spiderowl Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 It sounds like you are saying you like her company but because you are not physically attracted to her, you would rather hit on other women instead. Nightclubbing means hitting on women to you. Generally if you go somewhere with someone, you keep them company - unless they happen to get talking to someone else or something. Just purely from the point of view of good manners with a friend. If you have been more than a friend to her, then she would be insulted if you hit on other women while with her. She might have said she just wanted to be friends. She might have meant it. She might also have wanted some clear sign from you that you saw her as more than that before she risks getting too attached to you. It sounds to me like you are not as attracted to her as you are to other women. It is not as if her personality is charismatic and you cannot keep away from her. Some people are incredibly attractive and compelling though would not be classed as beautiful or handsome. Sounds like you feel a bit lacklustre about her. This would not justify you hitting on other women, but if you truly feel lacklustre then perhaps you should just keep her as a friend and not 'mess about' with her. If she were more definite about where you stood with her and said she wanted to be with you, how would you feel?
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