Keys to his apt?!

[ly399]

Had the 'talk' with the lukewarm guy I've been seeing for 3+ weeks. I included a link to the original thread at the end of this post. I thought we are hookup buddy, now i'm more confused, unless modern age hookup buddy also gets keys.

 

Last night before having the 'talk', he talked about giving me keys to his apt, and invited me to stay there while he's out of town for work. I turned down the offer. I find it very odd since we are fairly casual. I thought giving keys is a big step in dating. Am I overthinking this?

 

Later, I finally broke the silence asked him about his intention of seeing me. I said I am not interested in anything casual (it's on my dating profile, too) and not looking to define the relationship yet. He said something along the line of to wait and see. I told him I feel we are very casual but giving keys is confusing. He didn't give a clear answer only emphasized that we should give it time. I kept myself busy folding his laundry. He hugged me from behind and kissed my head few times. It felt nice, but this might be his way of getting out of trouble.

 

I'm pretty sure he's dating/sleeping with at least another girl. I have a feeling they met before us. I haven't asked exclusivity yet because I'm not ready for an relationship immediately. She calls him all the time, he never answered, and he purposely puts his phone face down when I'm around. I will ask him about her, but I want to wait a little after our 'talk'.

 

If I accepted his keys, wont he worry that I might walk in on him with another girl? He joked in the past I should move in with him. At the time, I thought he just wants convenient sex. But now he wants me there when he's away for work. It makes no sense having me there. I own my apt, my apt is nicer, so I'm not saving money by living at his place. He said it's closer to my office and safer at night. That's true. The difference in commute is less than 20 mins, and he has a ROOMMATE whom I haven't met.

 

Do guys give keys to any girls they date? My two serious ex bfs gave me keys to their places, but guys I dated short term did not. He doesn't act like he's super into me or anything. Is this normal?

 

original post-you don't have to read it

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/633414-just-sex

[basil67]

He says he wants you there when he's away for work. Did you ask him why he wants you there? If not, you should ask.

[ly399]

He said it will be close to my work, but it makes no sense. My apt is only 20 mins away

[d0nnivain]

You have been dating 3+ weeks & he's offered you keys? That is waaayyyy to fast IMO. This guy has no boundaries & I worry about yours if you are thinking about taking them. It'd be one thing if he gave them to you to feed his pet or water his plants while he was away but even then doesn't he have a good friend for that?

 

Intimacy takes time to develop. You can't rush the process by exchanging keys, or moving in too early.

[kendahke]

He's setting you up for a 3some with that chick.

 

That girl he's talking to all the time is most likely his main girl or girlfriend who likes a bit of the kink.

[Versacehottie]

Maybe because he wants you to keep folding and doing his laundry????

 

Don't do that!!!! Seriously, why would you do that if he is also sleeping with someone else???

 

To take care of his apt while he is away?

 

idk, lots of guys like to do the pretend serious relationship especially if you are acting like a real live in gf or wife. But if he won't give you an answer on the exclusive thing or you don't feel comfortable because you don't have enough emotional connection that is building, you should stop and back up.

 

The keys are just a little carrot to draw you further in. You need answers and security that satisfy you. I've seen girls get all excited about "the meaning" of things when the actual relationship is sh*t. Make sure that is not what is happening here. Good luck

[smackie9]

He wants his house cleaned, the sheets ironed, and the towels fluffed and folded before he gets back, that's why......

[GemmaUK]

What on earth are you folding his laundry for when you've only been casually dating for just 3 weeks???!!