Anna4822 Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 I started talking to my sister's friend who is five years younger than me. We have always had this mutual attraction between us, but never talked in person besides a word here or there (we have seen each other in person). My sister gave him my number (it was her idea ). We were having great text conversations for over a week. You could tell he was very into it - engaged and answering fast. He would initiate conversations and send me random questions. I felt that we had great chemistry (as much as you can over text). You could tell he tried to make me laugh a lot. At one point he referenced me possibly going out with his friend group and said "you are the full package, pretty and funny." I know you shouldn't talk a lot via text before meeting up, so one night I alluded to seeing him in person. When I did this, he said that we should go out and asked about my schedule, but never solidified plans. He brought it up on his own later and said jokingly that we might be able to work something out this weekend, but it was non-committal. I texted him a few times on my own...I realize now that I shouldn't have done this because that is me chasing. I may have looked desperate. We never hung out this weekend, and instead he hung out with his friends. He apologized that the weekend didn't work out, saying it was very busy, but he was looking forward to going out with me hopefully this coming weekend, though no set plans yet. I know he is close with his guys and they are usually together, but I know if a man wants to see you, he will figure out a way. Something has changed. He doesn't reach out as much, he asks me questions to keep the convo going when I try to cut it short, but they aren't in-depth questions. He takes longer to get back to me. We joke around, but not as much as we once did. I don't know if it is because I chased him or what. He did make the comment to me about hanging out last night "sounds good, don't get your hopes up though, I'm not a looker haha". So I'm now wondering if he is insecure. Does anyone have advice? Is there a way to encourage him to chase me again? At this point I know my best chances are to give him space.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 I started talking to my sister's friend who is five years younger than me. We have always had this mutual attraction between us, but never talked in person besides a word here or there (we have seen each other in person). My sister gave him my number (it was her idea ). We were having great text conversations for over a week. You could tell he was very into it - engaged and answering fast. He would initiate conversations and send me random questions. I felt that we had great chemistry (as much as you can over text). You could tell he tried to make me laugh a lot. At one point he referenced me possibly going out with his friend group and said "you are the full package, pretty and funny." I know you shouldn't talk a lot via text before meeting up, so one night I alluded to seeing him in person. When I did this, he said that we should go out and asked about my schedule, but never solidified plans. He brought it up on his own later and said jokingly that we might be able to work something out this weekend, but it was non-committal. I texted him a few times on my own...I realize now that I shouldn't have done this because that is me chasing. I may have looked desperate. We never hung out this weekend, and instead he hung out with his friends. He apologized that the weekend didn't work out, saying it was very busy, but he was looking forward to going out with me hopefully this coming weekend, though no set plans yet. I know he is close with his guys and they are usually together, but I know if a man wants to see you, he will figure out a way. Something has changed. He doesn't reach out as much, he asks me questions to keep the convo going when I try to cut it short, but they aren't in-depth questions. He takes longer to get back to me. We joke around, but not as much as we once did. I don't know if it is because I chased him or what. He did make the comment to me about hanging out last night "sounds good, don't get your hopes up though, I'm not a looker haha". So I'm now wondering if he is insecure. Does anyone have advice? Is there a way to encourage him to chase me again? At this point I know my best chances are to give him space. Honestly, I'm not really sure he ever was chasing you. Why would he say "don't get your hopes up" about his looks if you HAVE seen him before? Did that confuse you? 3
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 Yeah, I agree with CautiouslyOptimistic. I don't believe he was ever 'chasing' you. Someone who chases, seals the deal or at least tries to. He didn't seem to be committed. A part of me thinks that he may be insecure about his looks and that is why he is pulling the trigger. You have not seen a photo of him? Aside from that, he is non-committal for one reason or another. You are absolutely right, if someone really likes you, they make the time. He had time, just not for you...
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