jay_white89 Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 So, I guess just to start with background on me. I am 27 years old and a virgin. I have had one girlfriend that lasted a year. That was four years ago. Nothing since except for a bunch of first dates ( I am on okcupid, bumble and tinder). I am not a bad looking guy. A lot of girls had said I am cute. But, I am on the smaller side. I am only about 5'4''. So, a lot of girls do not take me serious. I am definitely not hot, but I think I am good looking. Also, as an aside I have a respectable full time job and a college degree. So, I have my life together. How can I get myself on the right track? I just need advice. I am feeling pretty low about myself right now. It just seems like no matter what I do I can't get things figured out.
Robratory Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 Well, the only part that's not average is that you're still a virgin. Everything else is all of us in one way or the other. If we're not short, we're fat, or balding, or what have you. The fact that you're 5'4" can't be remedied, so it's not even a problem. It's just a fact of life, and just like being bald, it will be a deal-breaker to some women but not to others. You seem to have a healthy self-appraisal. A series of single dates through online dating is not rare. In your case, were you hoping for second dates in some cases? Why do you think they didn't happen after an apparently successful first date?
NexttP Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 You need to change your outlook on dating. It's okay that people don't find you attractive, there are those that do. It's okay that people don't find you compatible, there are those that do. The trick is to find the one that thinks you're attractive and compatible, which takes time. You don't find every girl attractive. You don't find every girl compatible. Be honest with yourself and others.
d0nnivain Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 OLD is demoralizing. What are you doing IRL to meet people? Try being more active -- get off your phone & computer. Volunteer. Play a co-ed sport. Attend meet up events that interest you. Go to networking things for your industry. Join your college alumni group. 1
Miss Spider Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 There's so much about yourself you can change to be more attractive, yet people tend to focus on the things that cannot be changed. I think it's partly an excuse not to change. We need more information about your personality, not your looks. What are you like with women? What are you like on these dates? 1
Author jay_white89 Posted September 6, 2017 Author Posted September 6, 2017 Ok, so I don't do a lot outside of working honestly. I go to the bar with friends, but I know it is tough to meet girls there. I am somewhat introverted. I wouldnt say I am shy. But, I only talk If I have something to say. On dates I can talk. I don't mind having a convo one on one with a girl. But, online dating is a bit awkward for me since you don't always have a lot in common. My ex and I actually worked with each other, so we would always revert back to work convos
GemmaUK Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 Sounds like you should work on your social skills and get out there doing some different things other than the bar with your friends. Do you not have any hobbies? It would get pretty boring pretty quick if the only topic of conversation was work.
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