mushroomlol Posted September 5, 2017 Posted September 5, 2017 I just cut it off with someone I've been seeing for 7 months. Or at least I think. I am at the lowest point of my love life. I've never dated anyone who I met in daily life. All my previous relationships/dates are from online dating. I am in my late 20s and I've never had a relationship longer than this one. He said he could just hang out with me and not hook up at all cause he sees me as a friend. He said we would never work out as a couple. He said he could never find anyone that makes him feel the way as his ex girlfriend. All of my friends have found the one - they are together for a long time and they can never get tired of each other. I want to know what love is. I might be too desperate to find someone just to love, not mattering who that is. I want to find the one. What if the next one doesn't work out again and I am getting older and older. I feel like I am missing a very important part of my life. I am really sad.
Robratory Posted September 5, 2017 Posted September 5, 2017 What if the next one doesn't work out again and I am getting older and older. I feel like I am missing a very important part of my life. I am really sad. Aw, here's a big {hug}! What if the next one doesn't work out again? Well, there's always that chance, but we'll never know unless we go for the next one. Keep the hope up! All you can do is increase your chances. You say all your dating has been online. What do you think are some reasons you don't meet anyone in real life? 4
Caramelpopcorn Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 You should feel more bad for him if anything, how sad he's still in love with someone who has probably moved on by now. Also, I don't recommend staying friends with him, sorry to be him, but you don't get to be his crying shoulders and tend him while he's getting over you. Don't allow it! Go NO CONTACT. Every new relationship is a new adventure and a new experience! Think of it this way, if you had ended up with the first guy you dated, you would have missed out on better people out there, at least better for you. It's not that guy, and that is okay, he's not a bad guy, at least he was honest (although he should have said that by month TWO). How's the rest of your life? Career, family, friends, health, spirituality? Are you happy in other areas? Having someone to love is beautiful, but it's not the only joy you can feel in life. You're still so young! Come on, there are people on here in their 50es and 60es posting things just like this. You've got time! 4
Author mushroomlol Posted September 6, 2017 Author Posted September 6, 2017 Aw, here's a big {hug}! What if the next one doesn't work out again? Well, there's always that chance, but we'll never know unless we go for the next one. Keep the hope up! All you can do is increase your chances. You say all your dating has been online. What do you think are some reasons you don't meet anyone in real life? Thank you!! I think the reason might be I am a bit shy in front of a big group of people so usually I don't stand out or appear to be cold/serious when people first see me. Also I've been on myself for so long that I feel more comfortable doing stuff alone like going to museums or concerts. But sometimes I really find another person to share the joy with me.
Author mushroomlol Posted September 6, 2017 Author Posted September 6, 2017 You should feel more bad for him if anything, how sad he's still in love with someone who has probably moved on by now. Also, I don't recommend staying friends with him, sorry to be him, but you don't get to be his crying shoulders and tend him while he's getting over you. Don't allow it! Go NO CONTACT. Every new relationship is a new adventure and a new experience! Think of it this way, if you had ended up with the first guy you dated, you would have missed out on better people out there, at least better for you. It's not that guy, and that is okay, he's not a bad guy, at least he was honest (although he should have said that by month TWO). How's the rest of your life? Career, family, friends, health, spirituality? Are you happy in other areas? Having someone to love is beautiful, but it's not the only joy you can feel in life. You're still so young! Come on, there are people on here in their 50es and 60es posting things just like this. You've got time! He still wants to see me and I told him I don't want to see him again. I hope this time it really lasts. The rest of my life is good. Actually it has been a better year than last year and I have had very good news and travelled a lot. Maybe I am too hung up on the love side so I don't pay attention to all other happy things happened in my life. It's just I want someone so bad and I feel lost and desperate. 1
Caramelpopcorn Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 I understand, I really do. You thought you found that safe haven and finally the person who completely gets you, you saw eye to eye on things and then before you know it you're picturing a future with them. It's hard to retrain your brain to see otherwise, but you will see it in time, and when you do you'll honestly wonder how you missed all the signals that he was wrong for you. We don't need someone to be perfect for us, we just need our imperfections to mesh well together. You'll find him. 1
Redhead14 Posted September 6, 2017 Posted September 6, 2017 I just cut it off with someone I've been seeing for 7 months. Or at least I think. I am at the lowest point of my love life. I've never dated anyone who I met in daily life. All my previous relationships/dates are from online dating. I am in my late 20s and I've never had a relationship longer than this one. He said he could just hang out with me and not hook up at all cause he sees me as a friend. He said we would never work out as a couple. He said he could never find anyone that makes him feel the way as his ex girlfriend. All of my friends have found the one - they are together for a long time and they can never get tired of each other. I want to know what love is. I might be too desperate to find someone just to love, not mattering who that is. I want to find the one. What if the next one doesn't work out again and I am getting older and older. I feel like I am missing a very important part of my life. I am really sad. What if the next one doesn't work out -- What if it DOES? Living with the what ifs causes you to miss out on what's now. Date, enjoy, manage emotions and expectations with each new dating partner. Ask the questions that need to be asked, listen and observe while evaluating for yourself. The "what ifs" don't need to end with a negative. If you're going to be doing the "what ifs", why can't they be positive? 3
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