msblackcat Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 (edited) Hello all, I am new to LS. My boyfriend and I were each other's first love, first kiss, first everything. It's been nearly three years of us being together. We lived together before I left for school and so it has been LD for one year. Before the year of distance, I believe that I was pretty emotionally dependent on him only because I had recently lost my closest friends and had family troubles. Since then, with distance I have come to a comfortable spot where I feel totally independent and he feels the same way (he used to also be dependent). Things just feel so so much better. I have also gone to therapy since the start of 2017. I am in a great place - but I think the distance between me and my BF is really taking it's toll because I no longer feel attached to him at all. I call him every day or other day out of duty, I no longer genuinely laugh at our conversations, or feel a spark there. He is super mega sweet, he is a really loving guy. I love him dearly, but I almost feel like I am in love more with the memories of us than who he is, as cliche as it sounds. We are just really really different. He has a different sense of humor than I do, so I don't tend to find a lot of his jokes genuinely funny (I laugh for his effort, to make him feel good). I no longer think he is all that attractive (I never really thought he was hot or anything, rather was just attracted to his personality. Always felt that I could do much better attractiveness-wise). I see other couples around me and how in love they look, how attractive they are together, and I feel sad and lonely. I wish that I could feel that love again. I almost feel as though I was never really in love with him, but rather knew he was a safe and sweet guy for me and grew to love him....it's hard to explain. Anyways, I know that I have to "do it" and pull the trigger eventually but its so so easy to just say "next week, I will do it..." because its really painful to think of letting go of someone who is basically family to me....how do people do this Edited September 4, 2017 by msblackcat
Been Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 Wow. You never thought he was that attractive and you could do better? Sounds like you'll making all the excuses so you won't be the bad guy. You call him out of duty??? Do him a favor a break up with him. He deserves better.
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