bing bing Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 We were together for a year and a half. The relationship was slowly deing and I was the one to pull the trigger. The final blow came when she told me she had to move for work and wanted to do the long distance thing. It wasn't working when we lived in the same area so I didn't think it would work states apart. I told her that and we broke up. She just e-mailed me after a month of NC and she thinks the relationship ended abruptly and unnecessarily. I find that surprising because she knows how unhappy I have been. Anyway she wants some clarification on why I didn't think it would work and I think in some way she wants some comforting from me. My take: I tried to break up with her twice before. Both times turned into excruciating debates about the relationship. In retrospect I should have said " This is not a debate. It is a decision. I can't do this anymore.". I feel like this is an invitation to another painful debate about why this relationship should or shouldn't end. I know it should have ended b/c after I got over the original sadness of loosing a good friend I feel good. I know I made the right decision so no debate is necessary. On the comforting thing, I want so much to do that. I want to tell her how wonderful it was to have her in my life for a period but that I just didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her. I just feel that isn't my place to do anymore. That is for her friends and family. Any opinions would be great. Thanks
Opium Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 On the comforting thing, I want so much to do that. I want to tell her how wonderful it was to have her in my life for a period but that I just didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her. I just feel that isn't my place to do anymore. That is for her friends and family Say those exact words to her! It's not comforting her, it's telling her the truth about your feelings. This decision is about you not her, she probably just wants closure and I think everyone deserves that. Don't lead her on or tell her something to bring her hopes up about any future which you've made clear that this is not the girl for you. Be honest with her and tell her you would like for her to move on and find someone knew and that the relationship is over. Nothing else can be said unless you want to work it out and of course you don't.
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