mxc201 Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 (edited) Me and my ex of 9 months we broke up a little over a month ago. Well anyways I got dumped out of the blue which feels like an uppercut to the jaw. After 3-4 days of begging, crying and pleading it proved to be useless. I turned from an alpha male to a beta wimp crybaby. So yeah a week gone by I got drunk at a party which made me do stupid things, I started texting my ex with the usual "I miss you" crap and after some back and forth exchanges from her she told me the reason was "we are incompatible, I don't see a future with us" bs. Said she still loves me and miss me but she can't go on like this. I told her what the &$@8 u talking about and blacked out some time later. As the first week or two of NC, my life felt miserable. I just couldn't believe what the hell just happened. Like I couldn't believe that it was really happening. But as days and days went by slowly, little by little I was starting to feel a little better. Then today, 1 month and 13 days of NC, a friend of mine ask me if I wanted to come with him to a house party, and like any what any good friend would do I accepted his challenge. So me and my friend got there, we went inside the house, me carrying a slab of beer with both of my hands, walk into the dining area and greeted to the crowds, then, there she was, sitting right there, among the crowds in one long arse dining table. She saw me just as I saw her. We looked at each other for must have been 3-4 seconds before she look back down at her plate and continued eating. All them dark energy and feelings of her hits back at me, hard. No not like a splash of water to the face, but an ocean mega city busting tsunami. I turned around and calmly put the slab of beers on the floor with a bunch of other slabs, turned back gave her one last glance, still facing towards the plate hoping that she would at least look back at me and give a smile. I was ready to give a smile back. Feeling miserable and disappointed I told my friend I have to go, can't be here with her which he understands for me. Anyways so question here is, why would an ex looks at you then looks away? And do I have to start No Contact all over again. I suddenly feel like I m missing her heaps. Edited September 2, 2017 by mxc201
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 You did the right thing by leaving the party. It would have been worse to stay there & torture yourself. Seeing a EX for the 1st time after a break up is an emotional think. It does set back your healing. It won't send you all the way back to square one & your progress forward will be faster. Give yourself a break. In the short term think about all the progress you have made. Keep yourself busy & know you got through the worst so you can get through it again.
Author mxc201 Posted September 3, 2017 Author Posted September 3, 2017 Update: Strange stuff happened today, she unblocks me both on Facebook and phone and sends me a text message. It goes like this, Her "why did you have to avoid me and leave the place, do I scare you that much?" Me "Your last message makes it very clear to me, that I should not bother you let go of you." Her "Okay if you think that's clear, sorry for the messagentoday" Me "That's what you wanted isn't it? What more do you want from me? Her "Okay thanks for today" Does my reply looks too soft? I didn't even bother replying that last msg. Should I reply to it or leave it at that?
Been Posted September 3, 2017 Posted September 3, 2017 You shouldn't respond. She knows why you avoid her. You need to ignore her. Anything you respond to is gonna make you look weak. You have to go NC because also your going to analyze everything a hundred different ways. I know it sucks. Its awkward as hell and leaves you feeling empty. But think about how much of your time is spent trying to figure out the meaning of her actions when it shouldn't matter because her actions shouldn't impact your life or take up any of your time. To answer your first question on why she wouldn't look up at you when you saw her at the house party I would guess she feels awkward or guilty.
d0nnivain Posted September 3, 2017 Posted September 3, 2017 Your message wasn't too soft. It was polite. You asked for clarification about why she told you to buzz off in the last message but was now reaching out. Telling her to go F herself would not have been helpful. Just block her so she can't get through to you again. You didn't leave the party because you were scared of her. You left the party to avoid a scene. You were the more mature one. Discretion is the better part of valor. It wasn't about being afraid. Don't let her mess with your head. Put her in the rear view mirror & leave her there.
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