1fish2fish Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 It sounds like she's trying to turn it around so she's the one "in control" and dumping you. Please tell us you told her you are done and have now blocked her everywhere. 1
Versacehottie Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 The cycle ends now. There's no point in talking. Why are you humoring her? She's just trying to switch the energy and dump her anger on you instead. You don't get closure from an ex that's what I've learned. i think if you really delete someone off all social media, the same type of person would block them also on phone & email. I mean, it's a bold "i hate you" move so follow it through. Personally i'm not for blocking unless necessary but if you do a dramatic move like that, OP, then follow it through by blocking her or at very least don't answer her and engage in a convo with her. Otherwise, let's call the social media dropping as exactly what it was, a way to provoke her to continue the conversation and explain herself--which you got. Glad you decided not to respond to her last message. i would say (not to be mean) that you too are a bit all over the place and a little emo kinda like she pointed out. So maybe you don't see yourself as others see you? I think people are generally the most happy when what they feel like on inside mirrors how they are seen by others so strive for that. Completely agree with carmel that you don't get closure from an ex. It comes from within yourself or you are not being honest with yourself about why you want that "last" conversation, i.e. you want another chance, you want the last word. 3
Author Bern216 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Posted September 7, 2017 I deleted her out of my phone along with all pictures of us and blocked her on social media certainly not to get a reaction out of her. Did it so I wouldn't find the urge to look. I'm 30 not 18. Yeah I probably shouldn't of responded to her texts but it felt good to let her know how her actions effect people. Will she learn from it probably not. As far as me being all over the place I couldn't disagree more I knew exactly what I wanted out of this the whole time I'm just stubborn to a fault but finally realized I deserve to be with somebody who wants me back. As far as me being emo I suppose giving a **** about people makes you that.
Bastile Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 Seems like you are both into each other, and both being stubborn to me. She was going out alone with you on a date, fella. That's validation enough to begin with. What's so wrong with some discretion anyway? Secrets can be very sexy. You wanted to "teach her a lesson", but I think it's you who should be learning something from her in handling yourself a bit better regarding navigating her boundaries (which seem to be quite normal boundaries, in my experience). But then you are stubborn...
knabe Posted September 7, 2017 Posted September 7, 2017 Seems like you are both into each other, and both being stubborn to me. She was going out alone with you on a date, fella. That's validation enough to begin with. What's so wrong with some discretion anyway? Secrets can be very sexy. You wanted to "teach her a lesson", but I think it's you who should be learning something from her in handling yourself a bit better regarding navigating her boundaries (which seem to be quite normal boundaries, in my experience). But then you are stubborn... Though she wasn't relationship material IMO, there is some wisdom in this. You already had a date. And there is a difference between tagging someone you know would like the puppy video you shared and tagging someone with a direct comment about a date and using the word "baby." I suspect her tagging of you was more along the lines of the former. Anyway, you had a date scheduled. All you had to do was show up at the date, be charming, and if nothing else you could have had a nice evening. The passive aggressive pressure thing is a beta move. I usually hate those labels, but in this case it fits....because stronger men wouldn't take back up with a girl who had already ghosted them.
Author Bern216 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Posted September 7, 2017 I'm definitely stubborn to a fault I agree. The thing is I don't even think that date would've happened. Bc I've been trying to get together and it's always been something coming up. As far as me being a beta yeah allowing her back in my life after she clearly had no respect for my feelings by ghosting me is definitely that. I should've had more self respect to not allow her back into my life. You live and learn I guess. 1
Author Bern216 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Posted September 10, 2017 I just wanted to vent. It's been three days since I've decided to move on and I find myself missing her and constantly thinking of her. I know not much time has passed so I get that it will get better. One of my friends who is friends with her on FB said she had posted something about her always pushing away a good thing in fear of getting hurt which he said was clearly about me. He's a close friend so I know he wouldn't have made it up. I wish he had never of told me this as it has me wanting to reach out but I know I have to stay strong. My thing is we have all been hurt and this girl has hurt me previously. I want somebody who thinks I'm worth the risk like I thought she was.
pest947 Posted September 11, 2017 Posted September 11, 2017 I never allow someone who has ghosted back into my life. They have already indicated to you that you are not what he/she is looking for and that will very unlikely change. Besides, why would anyone want to be person who was 'settled' on or left-overs. Though if you think about it, aren't we all 3rd, 4th, 5th etc choices? Things don't work out for a reason until they work out. Along the way we find things in people sometimes we didn't even know we were looking for.
1fish2fish Posted September 11, 2017 Posted September 11, 2017 I just wanted to vent. It's been three days since I've decided to move on and I find myself missing her and constantly thinking of her. I know not much time has passed so I get that it will get better. One of my friends who is friends with her on FB said she had posted something about her always pushing away a good thing in fear of getting hurt which he said was clearly about me. He's a close friend so I know he wouldn't have made it up. I wish he had never of told me this as it has me wanting to reach out but I know I have to stay strong. My thing is we have all been hurt and this girl has hurt me previously. I want somebody who thinks I'm worth the risk like I thought she was. Yes, it will get better with time, but every time a well meaning friend feeds you snippets from her social media, it's going to set you back. I hope you told your friend(s) that you don't want to hear anything about your ex ever again.
Recommended Posts