Jump to content

Ghoster Came Back and Now Possibly Losing Interest Again.

Bern216

By Bern216
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Slowlydrifting Member

Slowlydrifting

Posted
Posted
Let her go, she is game playing me. My rule in dating is you screw w/me once, its done, no going back, just leave me alone.

 

I disagree to a point. "The Best Apology is Changed Behavior". I'm living proof. Sometimes it really is possible. ?

  • Like 2
  • Author
Bern216 Member

Bern216

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I appreciate the advice I really do you guys are awesome. I do have other options actually decided to just go on a couple dates with two women to get my mind off of her this past weekend. I guess she had this sixth sense that I was pulling away and she started showering me with more attention. Now this girl texts me every morning telling me hope you have a great day babe. Her friends reach out to me to talk to me. So the fool that I am have started talking to her again.

 

We made plans to go to a sporting event in two weeks for a team that she loves. She was so excited about it. Telling me you're the best babe I'm so lucky you're in my life. Today comes and I tag her in the event on Facebook saying can't wait to go with you babe. Two minutes later she deleted it off her page. This shows me she clearly doesn't take this serious and I'm nothing more than just another guy who gives her attention. I have officially blocked her on all social media. I am much too old for these games. She can find somebody else to put on the run around.

  • Like 5
Echo74 Established Member

Echo74

Posted
Posted
I appreciate the advice I really do you guys are awesome. I do have other options actually decided to just go on a couple dates with two women to get my mind off of her this past weekend. I guess she had this sixth sense that I was pulling away and she started showering me with more attention. Now this girl texts me every morning telling me hope you have a great day babe. Her friends reach out to me to talk to me. So the fool that I am have started talking to her again.

 

We made plans to go to a sporting event in two weeks for a team that she loves. She was so excited about it. Telling me you're the best babe I'm so lucky you're in my life. Today comes and I tag her in the event on Facebook saying can't wait to go with you babe. Two minutes later she deleted it off her page. This shows me she clearly doesn't take this serious and I'm nothing more than just another guy who gives her attention. I have officially blocked her on all social media. I am much too old for these games. She can find somebody else to put on the run around.

 

Excellent! You will find someone who appreciates you, just be patient.

  • Like 1
Caramelpopcorn Established Member

Caramelpopcorn

Posted
Posted

I applaud you for what you did. It is really hard to pull away when they try so hard to lure you back in, showering you with words and attention you've been waiting for.

 

I still stand by my words, she's seeing other guys and wants to seem as single as possible to other men. Now, don't you reply back no matter what she does, that is if she finds a way to even contact you. Stay strong my friend!

Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

Posted
Posted
I appreciate the advice I really do you guys are awesome. I do have other options actually decided to just go on a couple dates with two women to get my mind off of her this past weekend. I guess she had this sixth sense that I was pulling away and she started showering me with more attention. Now this girl texts me every morning telling me hope you have a great day babe. Her friends reach out to me to talk to me. So the fool that I am have started talking to her again.

 

We made plans to go to a sporting event in two weeks for a team that she loves. She was so excited about it. Telling me you're the best babe I'm so lucky you're in my life. Today comes and I tag her in the event on Facebook saying can't wait to go with you babe. Two minutes later she deleted it off her page. This shows me she clearly doesn't take this serious and I'm nothing more than just another guy who gives her attention. I have officially blocked her on all social media. I am much too old for these games. She can find somebody else to put on the run around.

 

You want my honest opinion? Deep down you knew it's not only you and the FB tag was a "test" of sorts.

 

Both your action and her reaction were immature. You don't need to be so public about it if it's real. Feels like you were trying to claim her and see what she would do and let others know to back off since you "thought" you finally had some traction with her. She is same as she always was: playing the field for the best deal. And you're acting possessive over someone that treats you like cr*p. Sorry.

 

BTW, while it may help to be no contact with her to go all ballistic and delete her off everything just shows her that you are angry, i.e. emotions involved. Far better to ignore like you've moved on and she is no big thing. Promise you, if you want to get to her that is a much better way to "show her". Anyway, good luck on the next one.

  • Like 3
Caramelpopcorn Established Member

Caramelpopcorn

Posted
Posted

It definitely was a test from him, that's what I thought right away, but still it doesn't change that how reacted was pretty bad, and really it doesn't matter much cause he should have ended it before that anyway. The test didn't change much.

  • Like 1
Bastile Established Member

Bastile

Posted
Posted
I appreciate the advice I really do you guys are awesome. I do have other options actually decided to just go on a couple dates with two women to get my mind off of her this past weekend. I guess she had this sixth sense that I was pulling away and she started showering me with more attention. Now this girl texts me every morning telling me hope you have a great day babe. Her friends reach out to me to talk to me. So the fool that I am have started talking to her again.

 

We made plans to go to a sporting event in two weeks for a team that she loves. She was so excited about it. Telling me you're the best babe I'm so lucky you're in my life. Today comes and I tag her in the event on Facebook saying can't wait to go with you babe. Two minutes later she deleted it off her page. This shows me she clearly doesn't take this serious and I'm nothing more than just another guy who gives her attention. I have officially blocked her on all social media. I am much too old for these games. She can find somebody else to put on the run around.

 

A lot of women aren't comfortable you being overt like that on their facebook when you aren't an item, or aren't even seeing each other. It's a social violation of boundaries.

  • Like 1
ugh123 New Member

ugh123

Posted
Posted

I don't get it.

 

I really don't.

 

Is this the type of woman that men fall for ?

 

Do we have to treat you like the dirt on the bottom of our shoes for you to have us panting for us ? Do we have to use you guys?

 

I don't get it

 

To the guy who made this thread, just leave her the **** alone. She doesn't want you. She just wants to use you.

 

Use all this love and care you have and give it to a girl who reciprocates and is on the same vibe as you.

 

But you would probably treat that girl like she wasn't anything.

 

Ah.

 

Life sucks sometimes.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

Posted
Posted

It's good you're moving on. You were obviously just a backup option for her.

Bastile Established Member

Bastile

Posted
Posted
It's good you're moving on. You were obviously just a backup option for her.

 

If a guy started tagging you on Facebook, calling you "babe", when meeting for the first time in a while?

 

Turn on, or turn off?

 

The girl is low-interest, but I think behaviours of breaching her social circle and the social media stuff are violating her social boundaries also.

olivetree Established Member

olivetree

Posted
Posted
If a guy started tagging you on Facebook, calling you "babe", when meeting for the first time in a while?

 

Turn on, or turn off?

 

The girl is low-interest, but I think behaviours of breaching her social circle and the social media stuff are violating her social boundaries also.

 

 

I am a slow mover...

This would be a big turn off for me.

 

But don't feel bad OP, a good person wouldn't behave the way she does.

Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

Posted
Posted
If a guy started tagging you on Facebook, calling you "babe", when meeting for the first time in a while?

 

Turn on, or turn off?

 

The girl is low-interest, but I think behaviours of breaching her social circle and the social media stuff are violating her social boundaries also.

 

Turn off. I would see it as exactly what it was meant to be: a smoke signal to other guys to "back off she's mine", which since they were no where near exclusive would bug me, indicate that he was insecure, and ugh, doing it through FB? Sorry, not a fan.

 

I'm anti-being-tagged so i might be a bit biased but also to do it in advance of the event rather than afterward or during on instagram says a lot to me. No likey :lmao:

  • Like 1
  • Author
Bern216 Member

Bern216

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yeah I could understand that it would be a turn off. But my thing is she would tag me in things all the time. Don't think it's okay she can do it but once I do it's not okay. Also I left her a comment days before calling her babe and she loved the comment. Also has pictures of us I'll over Facebook. I'm not the jealous or controlling type so really wasn't telling guys to back off. Just was genuinely excited to take her. It doesn't really matter anyways as Ive decided to move on from.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Bern216 Member

Bern216

Posted
  • Author
Posted

And also she invited me into her social circle by introducing me to a lot of her friends and her friends love me even to the point where they message me so I don't see the argument.

1fish2fish Established Member

1fish2fish

Posted
Posted

Find someone else NOW to invite to the sporting event instead of her. Do it now while you're strong.

 

I guarantee she's going to try and worm back into your life somehow, blocking be damned.

 

Just prepare yourself.

 

Good luck!

  • Like 1
Caramelpopcorn Established Member

Caramelpopcorn

Posted
Posted (edited)

Again, the Facebook tag he did isn't the problem you guys! This came after the downfall anyway! Why are people fixating on that tiniest detail? Don't understand it personally. I disable my tags personally, I gotta approve them myself. Nice little trick.

 

OP, sorry but that relationship was crap from the get go, how could you not see this? How hot is she, I'm starting to think she must be hot and banging for you not to see the flaws, but really you did see them and you chose to ignore them.

 

Also sorry to be petty, dude you're 30? Why you still tagging girls on FB? That's so 13 years old. I'm not hating, I'm on your side here but thought I'd tell you how uncool it is, all the other cool kids don't do it.

 

Ok now you go comment on my thread, it's 3 pages of melodramatic soap opera, WHAT MAN would not LOVE it?

Edited by Caramelpopcorn
  • Like 3
TheFinalWord Established Member

TheFinalWord

Posted
Posted
I just don't get what this is to her. I'm beyond confused but my only course of action I feel is to pull back until I see more effort on her part because this past month has been me putting in the effort. I have done everything right by this girl and I will continue to tell myself that. Her mom even said this about me. Do not step on a Rose for a tulip as her mother knows she tends to push good things away. Well she is currently pushing a good guy away and I'm not sure how to stop it.

 

I won't beat a dead horse, but you're self-sabotaging your dignity.

 

Dr. Jordan Peterson on Why men act stupid in front of attractive females.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Bern216 Member

Bern216

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I mean she is definitely attractive but certainly not the most attractive girl I've dated. But looks aren't everything to me. Me and her had a ton in common and the times we had together were amazing until recently obviously. The thing is she was very overweight and had lost 175 lbs this last year and half so she is receiving all this attention from guys she never did before and certainly doesn't know to handle it. The reason why ive been more involved with things on Facebook is bc she asked me to be. I usually am never on it but she asked if I could be a little more involved. She's very attention seeking and I should've known to not have even got involved with somebody like that as my attention would never be enough for her.

  • Like 2
Caramelpopcorn Established Member

Caramelpopcorn

Posted
Posted
I mean she is definitely attractive but certainly not the most attractive girl I've dated. But looks aren't everything to me. Me and her had a ton in common and the times we had together were amazing until recently obviously. The thing is she was very overweight and had lost 175 lbs this last year and half so she is receiving all this attention from guys she never did before and certainly doesn't know to handle it. The reason why ive been more involved with things on Facebook is bc she asked me to be. I usually am never on it but she asked if I could be a little more involved. She's very attention seeking and I should've known to not have even got involved with somebody like that as my attention would never be enough for her.

 

She's still dealing with insecurities, sometimes the weight comes down but the psychology stays the same subconsciously. You'll be fine, are you even missing her yet?

  • Like 2
Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

Posted
Posted
I mean she is definitely attractive but certainly not the most attractive girl I've dated. But looks aren't everything to me. Me and her had a ton in common and the times we had together were amazing until recently obviously. The thing is she was very overweight and had lost 175 lbs this last year and half so she is receiving all this attention from guys she never did before and certainly doesn't know to handle it. The reason why ive been more involved with things on Facebook is bc she asked me to be. I usually am never on it but she asked if I could be a little more involved. She's very attention seeking and I should've known to not have even got involved with somebody like that as my attention would never be enough for her.

 

well good points if she has been tagging you, yet freaked out when you tagged her. Again, that's just more attention seeking behavior in a way, i.e. if her tagging you was vague enough but suggestive enough to indicate that you are showering her with attention and in her life but then your tag put it "right out there" that you are dating, I can kinda see why she flipped. But most importantly it's just another example of how she lures you in and then mistreats you (in other words I can kinda see why you thought it might be ok to tag her). She sounds like an attention seeking loser who has both deep issues from being heavy before (this is kinda common) and is drunk with her newfound attention.

 

That's weird that she asked you to be more involved in FB. Have you ever thought that she is using YOU to make some other guy, the one she really likes, jealous?

 

I hope you stay moved on. Good luck

  • Like 1
  • Author
Bern216 Member

Bern216

Posted
  • Author
Posted

So she just asked why I deleted her and I told her exactly how I felt bc at this point I mean there's nothing to lose so what's the point in not telling her. She said I was acting jealous and standoffish and that she didn't want to be with a guy like that again bc her last relationship was with somebody controlling and jealous that's why she was being distant. Well the thing is her actions beforehand made me act this way and maybe I'm protective of myself because idk this girl has already hurt me and ghosted me before. She then said she just didn't know what she wanted and hates to say it bc I'm everything she's ever wanted and doesn't know how to appreciate a good thing when its right in front of her. I was thinking now she's talking out of both sides of her You went from saying I'm the jealous type which I am not to I'm everything you want. She then said I'm just so use to being on my own and might be content just being on my own the rest of my life. This girl is all over the place and I chose to ignore her after all these statements I don't have time for it. I need someone who is a bit more decisive.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted
So she just asked why I deleted her and I told her exactly how I felt bc at this point I mean there's nothing to lose so what's the point in not telling her. She said I was acting jealous and standoffish and that she didn't want to be with a guy like that again bc her last relationship was with somebody controlling and jealous that's why she was being distant. Well the thing is her actions beforehand made me act this way and maybe I'm protective of myself because idk this girl has already hurt me and ghosted me before. She then said she just didn't know what she wanted and hates to say it bc I'm everything she's ever wanted and doesn't know how to appreciate a good thing when its right in front of her. I was thinking now she's talking out of both sides of her You went from saying I'm the jealous type which I am not to I'm everything you want. She then said I'm just so use to being on my own and might be content just being on my own the rest of my life. This girl is all over the place and I chose to ignore her after all these statements I don't have time for it. I need someone who is a bit more decisive.

 

A double minded woman is unstable in all her ways

  • Like 3
kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted (edited)

The guy I quote as my tag below had a video posted today which addressed ghosting which I thought was very insightful:

 

1. She can't continue on with what you were building because it conflicts with something she told you and she knows she's about to get caught up in a lie.

 

2. She told you he's single, she acts single, but the truth is: she and her man are on bad terms and she decided to check you out, didn't think things were going to turn out as well as they did and now, she's got to admit she started up under false pretenses, so she ghosts.

 

3. you were in competition with other guys and you lost.

 

The appropriate reaction to someone who's gone ghost is to let them stay dead. If they go ghost once, they're going to go ghost once she comes back and gets what he wants from you. She is going to leave again.

Edited by kendahke
  • Like 1
Bastile Established Member

Bastile

Posted
Posted

To me, it just seems like too much drama. And that you social-media'd your way out of a date.

 

All that sexual tension... just take her out and break your bed with her, man. For goodness sakes.

 

Who really cares about facebook? So petty.

  • Like 1
Caramelpopcorn Established Member

Caramelpopcorn

Posted
Posted
So she just asked why I deleted her and I told her exactly how I felt bc at this point I mean there's nothing to lose so what's the point in not telling her. She said I was acting jealous and standoffish and that she didn't want to be with a guy like that again bc her last relationship was with somebody controlling and jealous that's why she was being distant. Well the thing is her actions beforehand made me act this way and maybe I'm protective of myself because idk this girl has already hurt me and ghosted me before. She then said she just didn't know what she wanted and hates to say it bc I'm everything she's ever wanted and doesn't know how to appreciate a good thing when its right in front of her. I was thinking now she's talking out of both sides of her You went from saying I'm the jealous type which I am not to I'm everything you want. She then said I'm just so use to being on my own and might be content just being on my own the rest of my life. This girl is all over the place and I chose to ignore her after all these statements I don't have time for it. I need someone who is a bit more decisive.

 

The cycle ends now. There's no point in talking. Why are you humoring her? She's just trying to switch the energy and dump her anger on you instead. You don't get closure from an ex that's what I've learned.

  • Like 4
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...