FastHands Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 I don't get it. She knows it won't go anywhere, but yet flirts with a lot of guys. Is it leading on? Bad habits? She also will not leave or think of cheating on husband or bf. Adding it all up she's a total waste of time. Why do some girls behave this way? I've met 2 so far like this.
Miss Spider Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 What does she do that you consider flirting? 3
ExpatInItaly Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Maybe they're just that type of person that needs constant attention and validation from a guy, preferably several. Perhaps they're bored with their partners but don't want to lose the security and familiarity of a relationship, so they seek out excitement and thrills on the side. Neither of the above is the right thing to do, mind you. But I have heard that out of the mouth of more than one cheater. I do have to question what you consider to be "flirting", though, as there are many behaviours that some misinterpret as flirting while the the attached person in question doesn't. What sorts of things is this girl saying or doing?
kendahke Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 I don't get it. She knows it won't go anywhere, but yet flirts with a lot of guys. Is it leading on? Bad habits? She also will not leave or think of cheating on husband or bf. Adding it all up she's a total waste of time. Why do some girls behave this way? I've met 2 so far like this. How, exactly, do you fit into this situation? 1
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Some people are just flirty because it's fun. It doesn't mean anything. 3
GoreSP Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Is she flirting or is super social and is just talking to everyone? 1
No_Go Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 I don't get it. She knows it won't go anywhere, but yet flirts with a lot of guys. Is it leading on? Bad habits? She also will not leave or think of cheating on husband or bf. Adding it all up she's a total waste of time. Why do some girls behave this way? I've met 2 so far like this. If she's really flirting (you're not misinterpreting her behavior), she's just not morally sound. If I'm in a relationship, even a new or not so smooth one, I'm literally blind for other men. They can be creme de la creme - for me they are just sexless creatures. I expect the same from my man. Now, she could be friendly, not flirting. Some men that desperately want attention misinterpret polite behavior as flirting. This just screams desperation of the guy and doesn't reflect anything about the woman.
central Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 If she's really flirting (you're not misinterpreting her behavior), she's just not morally sound. If I'm in a relationship, even a new or not so smooth one, I'm literally blind for other men. They can be creme de la creme - for me they are just sexless creatures. I expect the same from my man. Now, she could be friendly, not flirting. Some men that desperately want attention misinterpret polite behavior as flirting. This just screams desperation of the guy and doesn't reflect anything about the woman. Wow. Extraordinarily judgmental perspective. I'll leave it at that. 4
No_Go Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Wow. Extraordinarily judgmental perspective. I'll leave it at that. Curious - what exactly is judgmental? That attached people shouldn't flirt or that men misinterpret signals wildly?
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 I agree, you need to elaborate more on what she's doing that's pissing you off so much. Although there are many women (and men) who love to come dangerously close to the line without actually crossing it for a number of reasons not the least of which is their need for constant validation and attention and ego stroking, many more aren't quite as needy. Not all flirting is the same. I'm Italian and I have a very warm open and bubbly personality that can sometimes be construed as flirting when it couldn't be further from the truth. I mean, if I'm going to seriously flirt with you as in express my desire for you, you WILL know. There won't be any second guessing what my intentions are. I think people see what they want to see. 7
amaysngrace Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 If they're in a relationship and they know it's not going to go anywhere then it's an external validation thing. Pathetic really. 1
smackie9 Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 (edited) Yes there are women (and men) who are attention [seekers]. You seem to be able to spot them so why play into it. Just ignore them. If they choose to be flirty for self validation well, that's their business....there is no law against it, it's freedom of speech, and there nothing you can do about it. That is what life is about. You have to navigate through all the different personalities, some bad some good. It is what it is. Edited September 1, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Prohibited language redacted and member moderated. 1
Rockdad Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 My wife will tell you that I am one of those that doesn't know a stranger. I am also an affectionate person and very friendly to people. For lack of a better term I can come off as 'flirty' to some. The wife liked those things about me before we were married and I haven't changed yet. I really don't see any problem. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 (edited) There are gigantic differences between being friendly/social; being flirty; trying to initiate a relationship / score and being a []tease. The OP complained about a flirty person. As a flirty person I don't think I'm a tease. I am certainly not doing it solely for external validation. I generally flirt more when I'm in a good mood / happy place & want to share a momentary smile with somebody else. I'll smile, I'll give a compliment, I'll say something teasing. To the very limited extent it is even remotely sexual it's all very G, maybe PG rated . . . "I like your shirt", "nice hair cut" "did you lose weight?". Unless I was single & trying to drum up sexual interest I don't generally touch strangers, toss my hair, dangle my shoe or come on too strong. It shocks me how vehemently many people on message boards vilify innocent flirts. I am not talking about teases or people trying to cheat. So my advice to anybody on the receiving end of a flirtation from someone they know or suspect is unavailable is to stop taking it seriously. It's a single moment in time not an offer to tumble into bed. Enjoy the few seconds of pleasant interaction & let it go. Edited September 1, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language 4
Bastile Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 I don't get it. She knows it won't go anywhere, but yet flirts with a lot of guys. Is it leading on? Bad habits? She also will not leave or think of cheating on husband or bf. Adding it all up she's a total waste of time. Why do some girls behave this way? I've met 2 so far like this. Only 2? This is a completely normal everyday occurrence. Women enjoy attention, and they enjoy flirting. It's quite rare that a woman tells me she's got a boyfriend until I try and make something real out of it, by trying to get her number. That might upset some men who think that a woman should just tell a guy she's taken, but it's the way it is. And I don't push beyond that, but In many cases I could... Better to keep good energy.
amaysngrace Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 (edited) There are gigantic differences between being friendly/social; being flirty; trying to initiate a relationship / score and being a []tease. The OP complained about a flirty person. As a flirty person I don't think I'm a tease. I am certainly not doing it solely for external validation. I generally flirt more when I'm in a good mood / happy place & want to share a momentary smile with somebody else. I'll smile, I'll give a compliment, I'll say something teasing. To the very limited extent it is even remotely sexual it's all very G, maybe PG rated . . . "I like your shirt", "nice hair cut" "did you lose weight?". Unless I was single & trying to drum up sexual interest I don't generally touch strangers, toss my hair, dangle my shoe or come on too strong. Oh that's different. That's not flirting...that's just being friendly. I think of flirting as totally coming on to someone. Edited September 1, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edit quote
No_Go Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 If it is innocent, it is friendly behavior, not flirting. Flirting is trying to get sexual attention of someone and IMO it can't be justified under any circumstances if the flirting person is dating/in a RL/married. Being friendly: no one objects that. It shocks me how vehemently many people on message boards vilify innocent flirts. I am not talking about teases or people trying to cheat. 2
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 If it is innocent, it is friendly behavior, not flirting. Flirting is trying to get sexual attention of someone and IMO it can't be justified under any circumstances if the flirting person is dating/in a RL/married. Being friendly: no one objects that. I think too many people mix the two up. Some people think that any comment, any compliment, any attempt to engage in conversation equals inappropriate flirting. I am acknowledging that sometimes in some situations there may be a little edge to an otherwise friendly interaction. If it was still otherwise innocent with no desire for sex it's not a terrible thing. I am drawing a distinction between a sweet flirt and actually coming on to somebody. I have a feeling that if we observed the behavior IRL that we'd be more on the same page then these posts imply. We're probably tripping over language. 2
No_Go Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 I have a feeling that if we observed the behavior IRL that we'd be more on the same page then these posts imply. We're probably tripping over language. I'm pretty sure you're right I was more referring to ladies&dudes that are dating someone or married but ready to monkey branch if a good opportunity arises. These are super easy to sense IRL no matter how 'innocent' their flirting is.
elaine567 Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 I'm pretty sure you're right I was more referring to ladies&dudes that are dating someone or married but ready to monkey branch if a good opportunity arises. These are super easy to sense IRL no matter how 'innocent' their flirting is. Yes, but those are not the ladies the OP is referring to. I guess he is getting flirty attention from these women, but as soon as he takes them seriously and makes a move in their direction, he is being shot down as actually attracting him was never their intention. I don't get it. She knows it won't go anywhere, but yet flirts with a lot of guys. Is it leading on? Bad habits? She also will not leave or think of cheating on husband or bf. Adding it all up she's a total waste of time. Why do some girls behave this way? I've met 2 so far like this.
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 elaine467 Your point makes mine. The women OP is complaining about who flirt with him but who won't think of cheating who he views as wasting his time, are probably just being friendly / engaging in harmless flirting . . . the in-the-moment, feel good, fleeting behavior I described. He is taking them too seriously & can't see it for the transient encounter it probably was. He's misconstruing an innocent moment as a desire for sex. Then he gets frustrated because he's taking the whole thing too seriously. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Some people just need to feel like someone has interest in them...Both men and women do it, but its far more common with women, IME... Heck, i've had wives of friends of mine outwardly flirt with me, right under their husband's nose...I don't know if anything was said after they left, but I wouldn't be cool with any woman i'm with doing that...It's disrespectful and annoying... TFY 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Some people just need to feel like someone has interest in them...Both men and women do it, but its far more common with women, IME... Heck, i've had wives of friends of mine outwardly flirt with me, right under their husband's nose...I don't know if anything was said after they left, but I wouldn't be cool with any woman i'm with doing that...It's disrespectful and annoying... TFY Funny because I would have said it's more common among men, particularly married men 2
Author FastHands Posted September 1, 2017 Author Posted September 1, 2017 I'm talking about her behavior as in being overly funny, looking at you for extended time, touching your elbow/shoulder, telling your personal things, catching her cat scratching a coworkers back. By the way she expresses and acts it looks like she is looking for some response or action from the person she interacting with. But like I said there is nothing. The funny thing is that if her husband/bf is there or around, she mostly acts no different. I can agree maybe that's her personality, but I can see how some guys think differently. I wonder if her significant other has ever told her to not act like that? A guy can go up to her bf/husband and tell him that his girl is flirting or possibly suspiciously cheating by her behavior.
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Other than the back scratching, it's all harmless & meaningless. 3
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