ramble on rose Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 OK so I finally get over the hellacious relationship I've been in and out of for 3 years. I'm ready to date. I get asked out a lot and have learned to not be so "picky" per se...because what I have always thought was "my type" was actually my worst nightmare. I was approached by someone who is a bartender at a local restaurant, who I have seen frequently and always thought was attractive. One night two weeks ago I was with a group of co-workers and he approached me and we went outside to talk for awhile. I could see he was interested and I was low on time, so I told him I had to run, but would he like to go out sometime? He said, "Oh yes, definitely! I was afraid to ask you!" I asked him why he was afraid and he spurted out some babble, so I just gave him my business card and said I'd talk to him soon. Two weeks went by with no call, and while I was disappointed, I just shrugged it off. Finally today I get a phone call, with him apologizing for not calling because he's "really busy with work" and hoped he'd see me tomorrow on our weekly company happy hour, and if not, to give him a call. Honestly I'm a little irritated he waited 2 weeks to call. Of course I was happy at first, but then I was like...wait a minute, why would someone wait 2 weeks? Now that I'm back in the dating pool I notice all sorts of "waiting games" and b.s. like that. My initial reaction was to call him and set up something, but then I don't want to look too eager. I have no idea what to do. Part of me thinks he just called because he didn't want to run into me tomorrow at the happy hour and look like a jackass for not calling at all.... HELP!
Zephyr45 Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 I think your concerns are valid. However, what do you have to lose? If you like the guy (besides the late call) why not call him back or approach him at your next happy hour? Surely you'll find out soon enough whether the delay was justified or if the guy is a flake or game player that you don't need to waste your time with. I'd ask him why he waited so long in the same manner that you asked him why he was afriad to ask you out, and push him on the "busy at work" excuse just to see where he goes with it.
Author ramble on rose Posted August 12, 2005 Author Posted August 12, 2005 Yeah I figure that's what I'll probably do. The curiosity kills me and I figure I have nothing to lose. I'm the kind of person that can't walk away from the poker table until all my money is gone I just hate games - I'm also the kind of person that says, ok we like each other, let's cut the dance and get on with it, and see where it goes!
Cecelius Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Frankly, he might have been busy. Since he copped to being afraid to ask you out, he could have been working up the nerve. Since YOU had to initiate, he might have wanted the situation to cool off (and time to let his b@lls grow back) before calling you. It's not a game till there are obligations. if it bugs you that he wasn't so drooling with desire to hang in your presense, you might not want to go out with him. Lastly, no offense, but if it was a game/technique, whatever, it seems to have worked: you said yes and you are somewhat bent out of shape over him...
Author ramble on rose Posted August 12, 2005 Author Posted August 12, 2005 Ceciluis, I understand what you are saying. I'm divorced and it seems like all the dating "rules" have changed...I feel like a fish out of water. I'm a very honest and forthright person, and feel like if two people are interested in one another then there shouldn't be any "games". Since I've been dating again I feel like being honest and open scares other people who aren't used to that. I guess I just get paranoid and suspicious because I've been burned before. I like to think I am a worldly and understanding person, but I think I have just been naive. It seems so stupid for me to even be worrying about something like this, doesn't it!!! I just don't have a lot of time to meet people and when I do meet someone I like, I like to cut out the b.s. of how long someone should wait to call, etc. It's hard to meet quality men in Southern California, trust me. I am a smart, very attractive, fun person - but seems like the men here are very shallow and just looking for the next pair of fake boobs to mess with.
BeachQueen Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 I don't blame you for being suspicious about why he called you two weeks later. Maybe he was "in between" women at the time (meaning, maybe he was dating someone and had just ended it or wasn't sure if he wanted to end it). Either way, he finally called you and wants to take you out. I'd definitely go, but I wouldn't get attached too quickly. He seems a little flaky to be honest with you.
Author ramble on rose Posted August 14, 2005 Author Posted August 14, 2005 We always have to be suspicious, don't we Beach? Well I finally called him back the next day and left a voice mail that said I might stop in the restaurant before I went out that night w/my girlfriends. Of course I made sure I looked f-i-n-e and went in for a drink, chatted for a bit then left. Today he called and we spoke for about an hour...I guess you really do have nothing to lose by giving things one more chance This dating business is exhausting. I guess I'll see where it goes!
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