Ndles Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 So here's a little background about me and him. We've known each other for 3 months now, and we texted everyday for at least 2 months. He's been in 3 relationships and have dated around 20 girls that he told me. He just broke up with his ex in February. He told me he wanted gf when we were still friends. For myself, I've never been in any serious relationships, for those ones I had, I was very young so I guess it didnt count. So he is my first serious one. So I started off being obvious and extremely happy around him in regards to my feelings and expressions. For this, I was told by our common friend, cause we study in the same school. We went out 2 times as friends with his mom, and we've now been dating for a month. When we're together, we acted like a couple, holding hands, kissing, we did everything but not sex cause I refused and he respected me. We see each other at least 25 days out of the 30 days of the month, in which we've been to a lot of places together and spent a lot of time with each other. When we hang out, I am really happy and I just enjoy being around him. I guess he is too, we laughed together for small stuff and he's very caring for me as well. I slept over in his place a lot of times, and we went to each other's houses. He met some of my friends, And I met some of his and his roommates too. We spent his birthday together on a 2 days trip and we had fun. For him, he never did anything to me that is relates to what a bf would do. Like he never call me anything intimate, he never take selfies with me, he never include me in a public post. So now I'm confused. I feel ike he likes me, but I'm not sure as well. But for certin that I like him, cause I do care too much about him which I feel myself very extra sometimes. Should I have a talk with him to ask if he's serious with me? Or what should I do?
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 I would address the little issues before you tackle the big "what are we?" question. Ask to take a selfie with him. If he balks, ask why. What do you mean when you say he "never calls you anything intimate"? Are you looking for a pet name? Not every body does that. They should come out naturally / organically over time not be forced. You don't want some pet name that he called his past GF's do you? I had an EX who called every woman butterplum; I did not like that pet name.
Author Ndles Posted August 31, 2017 Author Posted August 31, 2017 I would address the little issues before you tackle the big "what are we?" question. Ask to take a selfie with him. If he balks, ask why. What do you mean when you say he "never calls you anything intimate"? Are you looking for a pet name? Not every body does that. They should come out naturally / organically over time not be forced. You don't want some pet name that he called his past GF's do you? I had an EX who called every woman butterplum; I did not like that pet name. @d0'nnivaim I've taken sefies with him, but on my phone. He didn't refuse or anything. And my friends took photos of us too when we hang out together. He didnt refused. He just doesn't initiate to do it, but I know he takes sefies with other people. And he never includes me on his public post, like example, instagram story, he would cut off my face or hide it with the location tag or something, or most of the time he just taking photos with the food or the scene. I feel like so you don't want people know that you're dating, when you actually are dating with me. Well, he does call me some nicknames that he named me for. He would be like I'll call you this for now on. I know I sound confused in words right now, and Im confused too. But it's just my first relationship and I just don't know how to act.
No_Go Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 I personally hate relationship exposure on social media. Even if engaged, I'd never share it on fb, let alone post pictures. It is just a personal preference, if any of my exes tags me on a picture, I would not allow it on my wall, period. They learned:) Pet names... I can skip on that as well. What for? Maybe your guy is like me? Or you just feel insecure with him for other reasons but detour to trivials because you don't want to dig deeper?
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 (edited) My guess is sex will change the dynamics of your relationship. He isn't going to invest until that happens. I don't blame him if he is used to not having to wait. Some people need sex in order to feel closer to a person...plus why get all gooy when there is only going to be frustration. Edited August 31, 2017 by smackie9 1
Author Ndles Posted August 31, 2017 Author Posted August 31, 2017 I personally hate relationship exposure on social media. Even if engaged, I'd never share it on fb, let alone post pictures. It is just a personal preference, if any of my exes tags me on a picture, I would not allow it on my wall, period. They learned:) Pet names... I can skip on that as well. What for? Maybe your guy is like me? Or you just feel insecure with him for other reasons but detour to trivials because you don't want to dig deeper? But I know that he will do these stuff, like posting pictures with friends and exes. I do feel insecure cause he just didn't say anything about us. He didn't say he likes me.
Gaeta Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 He didn't say he likes me. He didn't say he likes you? What do you mean? Are you gf-bf or not?
Author Ndles Posted August 31, 2017 Author Posted August 31, 2017 He didn't say he likes you? What do you mean? Are you gf-bf or not? No, he didn't say anything. We just went out for dates. He didnt even ask me out. So we are not even official. That's where my concern is.
Gaeta Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 No, he didn't say anything. We just went out for dates. He didnt even ask me out. So we are not even official. That's where my concern is. I am not sure i follow you. You said you went out for dates then you say he didn't ask you out? How do you go out for dates if he doesn't ask you out? You do more than just go out for dates you spend 25 days out of 30 together, holds your hand and kiss. How about you ask him if he wants to be gf-bf? If he says no than you stop wasting your time. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 Then ask him why he doesn't post pictures of you on his social media. See what he says. That may tell you everything you need to know about your status. Relationships involve 2 people. If your needs aren't being met & he acts like you are some dirty little secret you are entitled to find out why or walk away. Just because he's your 1st relationship doesn't mean he will be your last.
The Urbanyst Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Everyone is not the same. Not everyone is into selfies and social media nonsense. I don't use that crap at all. I have Facebook, but I almost never post anything.
Popsicle Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Seen each other 25 times and not even a kiss? He either sees you as a platonic friend only (read: you're not dating), or he is one of those shy guys who can't make a move.
GemmaUK Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 I don't understand the need for selfies, I've never taken one., pet names, what is the point of these? Two men I dated in their 40's insisted upon pet names really early on. I actually got put on the spot to think of something and then never did use the pet name, it didn't mean anything. Relationship announcements on social media, a month is waaay too soon to be doing that - 6 months to a year maybe but a month? Sounds like all is going well, except you are seeing each other an awful lot if you've seen each other 25 days out of 30 over a month. If you're both happy with the frequency then just enjoy it and take it a day at a time, beware that burn out might happen for one or both of you with seeing each other so much.
Popsicle Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Oh, and do not ask him anything, just move on girlfriend. Sorry.
joseb Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Seen each other 25 times and not even a kiss? He either sees you as a platonic friend only (read: you're not dating), or he is one of those shy guys who can't make a move. From op: "when we're together, we acted like a couple, holding hands, kissing, we did everything but not sex cause I refused and he respected me" Sounds like she is the one that it's keeping it pretty much platonic. I suspect he is finding sex elsewhere as op isn't willing, so.isnt very vested. 1
Popsicle Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 From op: "when we're together, we acted like a couple, holding hands, kissing, we did everything but not sex cause I refused and he respected me" Sounds like she is the one that it's keeping it pretty much platonic. I suspect he is finding sex elsewhere as op isn't willing, so.isnt very vested. Oooooh. Well, I guess he is respecting you, OP. You are wondering when you're going to be his girlfriend, he is wondering when you're going to have sex with him. You need to figure BOTH sides of that out and then talk to him about it, but not before.... 2
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