Flacss0824 Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 Im new here. So i will make this short but descriptive as possible. I have been friends with a girl that lived next door to me for about 4 years now, ill name her jess just for privacy. I always kept my distance because she was in a relationship. Couple years ago they split and have kept contact through text and call sparingly, once or twice every couple of weeks. Randomly she called me a couple months ago wanted to do lunch, which we had not done so i agreed. Lunch went well we laughed, caught up, completely positive communication. She pushed to go have a drink so we did, and continued the positive banter. As we talked, she mentioned that she had been thinking about me alot, how good a guy i am, loyal, and such , my daughter gets along with hers, etc. Her dad called while we were drinking(saw the phone on the table) and she told him she was with me and she really wanted him to meet me. Everything was what i wanted to hear considering i had a slight crush. So i told her i had to run to my place she wanted to go. So we went and she was all smiles , she said how she cannot believe she has not come after me, good job nice place. As we sat on the couch if she would be mad if i kissed her, smiled huge and said no , so i did, we made out for a while got pretty hot and i stopped it cause i didnt want to rush it. So now the confusing part, on the way back to her car she was asking how i felt about trying us out, told her we dont know unless we try. As i said that she got a call from " butthole". Thats how it was saved. She froze like a deer, and stared at her phone hesitating to answer. I asked eho it was and she said it was her bro, which i thought smelled funny. Got to her car she kissed and hugged me, said she she would call me later. Ive gotten nothin. I messaged once or twice during the week asking to do dinner or if she is ok, no reply. She still active on IG and snap, she even liked one of my pics recently. I havent messaged her for almost a month until couple days ago when the hurricane hit, said hope her and her kidcare ok she replied you too. I said when all this mess is done we should go grab some grub. Nothin again. Idk what i did or if i pushed too hard or wth. I know she was interested because of the things she was saying to me, shes never talked like to me. She continued to push to hang while we were together, if she wasnt feeling it it would have been done after linch . What can i do to get this chick to come back. I really dig her. I appreciate you reading and your honest thoughts. Im ready to put something in place to have her coming back
LostOnes05 Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 Sounds like the curious case of a recent ex and unresolved feelings to me. I hate to say this, but the reality is that she is gone man. Whenever a woman starts backing off, giving you 2-3 word answers, etc. She is either interested in someone else, seeing someone else, or isn't that keen on getting to know you. But essentially they are gone. I've dealt with this in the past and fairly recently. No need to try reaching out again, she knows how to get in contact with you if she wants to. 1
Author Flacss0824 Posted August 31, 2017 Author Posted August 31, 2017 Sounds like the curious case of a recent ex and unresolved feelings to me. I hate to say this, but the reality is that she is gone man. Whenever a woman starts backing off, giving you 2-3 word answers, etc. She is either interested in someone else, seeing someone else, or isn't that keen on getting to know you. But essentially they are gone. I've dealt with this in the past and fairly recently. No need to try reaching out again, she knows how to get in contact with you if she wants to. I figured this much just wanted some opinions. She knows now what im about but as long as there is feelings elsewhere it wont happen. She even mentioned that her recent guy was a cheater and piece of crap. No contact is a good and only option. Appreciate the feedback from my story.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 It sounds like she was desperately seeking a rebound relationship, that was until the "brother"(ex) called, then her true feelings were revealed. Notice how quickly she was trying to move things along during the date, and the way she listed all your qualities out loud, like she was ticking off a check list. That sort of behavior should give you pause about what her motives were. I'm sorry to say it but I suspect she picked you because she thought you might be the most convenient alternative, but I strongly suspect she is still hung up on her ex. If that is the case, you should avoid going out with her again because you will end up getting messed around while she continues to remain in contact with her ex. Don't be fooled by the whole "he was a dirty cheater and you are so much better" routine. Actions speak louder than words. It doesn't matter how messed up the situation is, if she still has feelings for him and stays in contact, you don't stand a chance. Better to cut her off romantically and keep your dignity, than be the backup guy.
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 I'd assume she decided she's not ready to date yet or she got back together with the EX. You know they are still in contact.
Author Flacss0824 Posted August 31, 2017 Author Posted August 31, 2017 It sounds like she was desperately seeking a rebound relationship, that was until the "brother"(ex) called, then her true feelings were revealed. Notice how quickly she was trying to move things along during the date, and the way she listed all your qualities out loud, like she was ticking off a check list. That sort of behavior should give you pause about what her motives were. I'm sorry to say it but I suspect she picked you because she thought you might be the most convenient alternative, but I strongly suspect she is still hung up on her ex. If that is the case, you should avoid going out with her again because you will end up getting messed around while she continues to remain in contact with her ex. Don't be fooled by the whole "he was a dirty cheater and you are so much better" routine. Actions speak louder than words. It doesn't matter how messed up the situation is, if she still has feelings for him and stays in contact, you don't stand a chance. Better to cut her off romantically and keep your dignity, than be the backup guy. Yea im not contacting her. Unless i see some completely physical effort from her , she is a ghost to me. I think you're right there has to be a past love interest. Why else would a girl pass up a good opportunity? Lol
Author Flacss0824 Posted August 31, 2017 Author Posted August 31, 2017 I'd assume she decided she's not ready to date yet or she got back together with the EX. You know they are still in contact. Im sure she is considering that mysterious phone call. She obviously has some stuff she needs to handle and deal with but i refuse to be involved or around for that. Im not a back up. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read my post and chime in
preraph Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 It sounds kind of like some ex or someone she is interested in reconnected with her and won that battle. But just give her space now. Maybe she'll come back when that fizzles.
Author Flacss0824 Posted September 1, 2017 Author Posted September 1, 2017 It sounds kind of like some ex or someone she is interested in reconnected with her and won that battle. But just give her space now. Maybe she'll come back when that fizzles. I hope this happens ive been crushing the girl for a long time. Im not gonna hold my breathe butvhope me not contacting will play a big factor. Thankds for the feedback
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