I dont know how to feel about this...

[Lyndsay]

So about a month ago, my boyfriend(lets call him Mark) of 1.5 years dumped me. The reason? It's kind of a long story, but if you guys can stay till the end that would be great.

 

It was about to be the 1.5 year mark in the relationship, and I had planned a nice date for the both of us, and had told him about it. The plan was to take a walk at the park, catch a nice (semi expensive) dinner, and then check out this new place that neither of us had ever been to (which is surprisingly hard to find considering that I've lived in this place for 10+ years). I made these plans about a week before the date of the 1.5 yr anniversary. Now, flash forward to 2 days before the planned date. Mark decides to take his sister on a date. Now, I'm aware that he and his sister were close, so that didn't surprise me at all. But Mark decides to take his sister on the exact same date that I had planned for him and me to do. He took her to the same park, a nice dinner, and then even went to the same "new" place that I had wanted us to experience together.

Naturally, I got pretty upset at this. I felt that he was not considerate of my feelings, and I had spent a long time trying to come up with that date. I basically gave him an ultimatum: If he wanted to continue dating me, then he would have to plan the dates, because I did not want to plan the dates that he would go on with his sister.

After that, he ignored me for a day, and then showed up to my house with a basket of the things that I gave him and said "take your s*** and go"

 

So yeah, that's how I got dumped. So I guess, what I'm asking you guys, is if my actions were justified? Or, what is your opinions on this story? How would you have reacted in this situation?

 

Thank you!

Lyndsay

[minimariah]

i would be REALLY creeped out - i plan a romantic date for us, give you all the details and you go... with... your SISTER?!

 

i'd dump him on the spot just for the icky factor.

 

seriously though - i don't think your reaction was wrong. your feelings got hurt and you were understandably annoyed for him ruining your special date and surprises so... his behavior tells you all you need to know - ignoring and keeping quiet for a few days only to roughly dump you. he's not the one, honey and you deserve a man who will... at the very least... be able to COMMUNICATE with actual WORDS about problems and issues, no matter how irrelevant or petty they might be.

 

this was supposed to be a minor fight - it ended up being a situation showing you how he reacts during stress. red flags, keep up the NC and leave him in the past.

[BC1980]

This just sounds bizarre on so many levels. Does guys regularly take their sisters on dates? I've never heard of that.

[hippychick3]

Are you absolutely sure that he went with his sister?

[preraph]

Yeah, something is really off there. Please don't consider this a loss. By your own words, he doesn't plan dates and when he does, it's with his sister, using your plans. Soooo why would you want to be with him for long anyway? That was a crap thing to do.

 

I will just say that it's so bizarre that he just HAD to do this before your date and that that makes me wonder if he's already been to this place with someone else and is afraid he'll be recognized so he wanted to lay an innocent precedent for already having been there.

 

Listen, you said the exact right thing to him. He's too much of a copycat at best and too lame to plan a date of his own. You can surely do better! Go no contact.

[Try]

I basically gave him an ultimatum: If he wanted to continue dating me, then he would have to plan the dates, because I did not want to plan the dates that he would go on with his sister.

After that, he ignored me for a day, and then showed up to my house with a basket of the things that I gave him and said "take your s*** and go"

 

So yeah, that's how I got dumped. So I guess, what I'm asking you guys, is if my actions were justified?

First, It does not matter if your actions were justified. What does matter is that his actions show that he was not that into you, and took the weakest of excuses to end it with you in an unnecessarily negative way. Rest assured that this relationship was going to be over soon even if you did not say what you said to him. He is one of those people that feels the need to blame the other person when they want to break up.

 

Second, taking his sister on the date that you planned with him was a jerky thing for him to do, and shows that he did not value the 1.5 year occasion the way that you did. This also confirms that your relationship with him was going to be over soon regardless of anything that you said.

 

Time to move on.

[Stephen44]

He sounds psychotic doing the exact same date.

That's seriously messed up. Seems like you dodged a bullet: what would have happened if you were going to get married? Would he show up at the same church two days before with his sister?