Pinhead Larry Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 I know this is a weird question but I'm a weird person and I haven't been on here in a while and after being in counseling and all that nothing improved. My counselor basically said she's nothing she could do for me to help me out. My porn problem has got even worse where I can barely get an erection most of the time. I can only get about 70% erect at the very best. Ive tried talking to women online and in real life making myself sound dumb each time as it never works only to have someone else I know come by and show them what a real man (not me) is. I'm just tired of it all and even worse I was cursed with this high sex drive and I don't have the best personality tbh. I'm not entitled to a gf and I don't blame girls for not liking me as I've said this before. I really want to find a way to drastically decrease my sex drive and get rid of my desire for female companionship altogether. I'm not going to wait in my 30s so that I can get a girl who decided she wants to "settle down" after having multiple players play her and have tons of baggage from all those years of being ran through. Women shouldn't want guys that spend their entire lives up to this point sleeping with every girl he can so why would I want a girl that slept with over 15 dudes? But what can I do at this point because I'm really tired of trying. My friends actually learned to get women now (even though most just got lucky cuz the girl asked them first) but I'm tired of it. What can I do?
RecentChange Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 I recommend finding a new counselor. They aren't all the same, and often it takes finding a good match. That said - you have to WANT to change, and make an effort. Why was the counseling unsuccessful? 2
Author Pinhead Larry Posted August 30, 2017 Author Posted August 30, 2017 I recommend finding a new counselor. They aren't all the same, and often it takes finding a good match. That said - you have to WANT to change, and make an effort. Why was the counseling unsuccessful? She would always tell me things like think positive and that's about it but telling a very depressed person to just think happy thoughts isn't exactly helpful...
SammySammy Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 What can you do? Remain the same. Or change. Your choice. 2
RecentChange Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 She would always tell me things like think positive and that's about it but telling a very depressed person to just think happy thoughts isn't exactly helpful... Did she give you tools to think positive? I.e. when you are having a certain type of thought recognize it, and then visualize or think of a different thing which was discussed? Was this a licensed doctor? I can't imagine that a counselor would simply say think positive without giving you any tools to do so. 2
alphamale Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 beating off to hardcore porn is as addictive as cigarettes and heroin 3
Reddice Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 Women shouldn't want guys that spend their entire lives up to this point sleeping with every girl he can so why would I want a girl that slept with over 15 dudes? Actually, many girls do want this.The Alpha male will always get a girl, that's just how it is. The man, on the other hand, strives to being the Alpha of his pack and does not want his women to have been with other men that might be "better" than him. Biology can be a blessing and a curse at the same time, depending on which side of the spectrum you're at. But let's get to the point, shall we? You have a porn addiction, seek a different councelor. Please don't let this linger, it will be like a ball and chain weighing down on you. What you are doing isn't healthy. If it was not for your addiction, I'd say to pay for sex and get it out of your system, but I don't want you to switch one bad habit for even a worse one. However, after reading your post I think it's a matter of time though before that happens. Please seek professional help immediately! Second step I would recommend is to get professional help for the dating scene. There are many self proclaimed pickup artists on the internet that can offer advice. Take it with a grain of salt though and only use what you feel comfortable with. Some of these guys actually offer sound advice. Lookup David DeAngelo, I followed his tips and methods roughly 10 years ago and they never failed. I'm sure he's still around.
bummer Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 What can I do? 1. Throw your computer out of your house. If that's impractical, can your friend be trusted with your secret? Make a pledge with him to stay off porn. Make a guilt jar where you have to put a dollar/$10 each time you fail to stay off. What charity do you hate? Donate the jar to them. 2. Try "personal reflection" time by just visualization. Try with a condom. If you only got 70% success when you look at hardcore porn, you better get training because stage-fright is a real thing. If you take a break for a few days, does it work better? 3. Get out of the house. Goes with #1. Go out to meetups and other outdoor activities. What are your interests outside of group DP vids? You have to practice interacting with these whorish women who have like 15 dudes to know that that doesn't mean anything. Also, more you are outside, less chance you find alone time with your laptop. 4. as others mention, get a new counselor. I know, telling you to just smile, get over it, and be positive is trite, but a bunch of strangers on the internet can NOT help you enough when you admit having depression and claim to be "really tired of trying." What are you really tired of? 5. As Yoda says, "do or do not, there is no try." 2
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 There's drug therapy for that. Find a new counselor.....sounds like you have one from a religious organization...useless. 2
Miss Spider Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Told you this like last year, it's the porn. In can really mess you up. You have to go no fap
Caramelpopcorn Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Sorry, but you have baggage too... if you're not willing to help a girl "unpack", no girl would want to deal with your baggage either. Porn addiction is a really big problem. You need to find a better counselor.
loverboy69 Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Take estrogen pills. Don't take too many or you'll start to grow man boobs. Come back after 2 weeks and let us know if your attraction to women has diminished. 1
kortz Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Told you this like last year, it's the porn. In can really mess you up. You have to go no fap no fap
The Urbanyst Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Your sex drive will drop naturally over time. Like around your 50's. Other than taking female hormones I don't really know how you can fix that problem.
No_Go Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 Your sex drive will drop naturally over time. Like around your 50's. Other than taking female hormones I don't really know how you can fix that problem. Ahhaha, not necessarily. Some guys keep high testosterone / drive well after 50...
FilterCoffee Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 I think the biggest consequence of having a porn addiction (other than losing erectile strength) is that men start to look at women as things to **** rather than people. You start to devalue women and in no time you're desensitised. That's probably the reason why you're not able to make a connection with women which causes you to lose confidence in yourself which in turn makes you watch more porn because you're depressed. It's a terrible cycle to be in. Now completely getting away from porn when you've been so addicted to it is next to impossible and is unnecessary if I might add. Watching a little every now and then is not going to be bad. But you do have to start seeing women as people and not just sex objects. You could try a couple of things. Whenever you speak to a woman, make eye contact and try to listen carefully. In particular, listen for her feelings and try to relate; whether it's happiness, anger or indifference. Also, stop watching the hardcore stuff for a while and start seeing some romantic porn where there's some emotion involved. In most cases that emotion is staged but that shouldn't matter because it will make you look at women differently.
Bastile Posted September 1, 2017 Posted September 1, 2017 (edited) Can't actually believe that some people are suggesting you take drugs... Drop the "counselling". That's a load of crap for a start. Drop the whole "I'm addicted to porn" nonsense too. Go and try it on with a bunch of women. Up your game, better your life, or continue to suffer. Your "therapist" isn't going to help you do that. Regarding "no fap": I've tried it. And I wanted to kill people. A man with a healthy testosterone is going to struggle under "no fap". It's about balance: jerking it to porn to the point where you can't get an erection is ludicrous behaviour, but so is abstaining to the point where you want to smash sh*t up. Regardless of whether you stick only to vag-fap, you'll still have needs that want being taken care of for a chilled out and easily managed life. Edit: you shouldn't "lesson your attraction to women". You should act on it. Edited September 1, 2017 by Bastile
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