Rgr1012 Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 Hey all, Relatively new here, so I'm guessing this question may have already been asked, but...what's the word on dating after being dumped? I relayed my story yesterday (The Dull Ache of Rejection), but basically, I was dumped after a 2.5 year relationship with a woman I loved very much. Shortly afterwards (I know, probably a mistake), I went online and joined a dating site. I've been on a couple of dates since then, but none of them amounted to anything. Am I wrong to be trying to date so soon? Is there any kind of reasonable timeline to start dating again? By the way, to add to my misery, my ex actually found me and messaged me on the dating site about two weeks ago ('Lol...I found you!'). Boy was that painful.
bummer Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 but...what's the word on dating after being dumped? Am I wrong to be trying to date so soon? Is there any kind of reasonable timeline to start dating again? When you are ready, you will try again. Not just to rebound or because you are lonely, but because you are ready to open your heart again. From personal experience, if you are still thinking about the ex often or enough to post on this site, it's too soon. Maybe it is 6 more months, maybe a year or two, whatever it is that is the healthy timeline for you.
kortz Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 Took me about 3 months before I was able to go on a date, and even then it was more just to get back out there and meet new people and enjoy myself, not to find a new relationship. Some people will date very quickly after a breakup just to help them move on. So there is no time limit and there is no right or wrong thing to do as long as you're not misleading or playing anyone else. Enjoy yourself and go on dates and keep things casual. You may even make some new friends out of it so just do what feels right to you and what you want to do and don't feel bad about it.
Camillus Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 First to the ex that says they found you I would tell them they should mind their own business Second Are you over her? If you're not you need to be, I don't think it is possible to start a new relationship with one foot in another. I do believe in self examination, how can you be a better you. I would think through how you can improve. Make sure you're over the ex then move on.
d0nnivain Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 If you are dating to fill a void because you don't currently have a GF & you don't care who fills that void as long as you are not alone, dating so soon is a bad idea. You will inevitably compare the new person to your EX & the new person will come up short, not because the new person is lacking but because the new person is not your EX. If you have fully healed from your break up & are ready to find somebody to share yourself with because you have a lot to offer, dating is fine. It will happen when you are emotionally ready not before 1
daylightsa Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 All I can say is if you're still longing for your ex, don't date. I have been the rebound girl before and it hurts more than a regular relationship breakup because on top of being broken up with, you also feel INCREDIBLY used. Best of luck to you.
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