Maximus1108 Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Hi all GF broke up with me 3 weeks ago after a 2,5 year relationship of which we lived together for almost a year. She has a 3 year old kid. There's really not much to say, we love each other but have incompatible characters so lots of arguments. Broken up before but got back together. Anyway, she had to make a decision because this is not healthy for a small child. But that's not what I'm here for. I accept the breakup and realize it will never work. But I experience such a wide range of emotions except happiness. I feel different from day to day, even from hour to hour. Sometimes I feel: - numb (which i like the best) - desperate that i will never love again or be loved (rationally i know this is not true) - sometimes i just burst out in tears for no apparent reason, even when typing this thing - anxious that i will never hear from her again - guilt because i was drinking a lot for the past few months so this contributed to the breakup. This is the worst feeling, it eats you from the inside I have been in no contact for the past 3 weeks because i want to heal and i want her to remember me as a decent guy and not a desperate person that cannot handle a breakup. Sometimes i want to reach out but i know this is not good But man, I surely miss her from time to time. I miss the companionship, the cuddling, and I miss her as a person. I know it's for the best and i keep strong, running, going out, eating healthy, not too much alcohol, focus on work...but still it is so goddamn hard... So just wanted to say this. My therapist is on holiday so this is a good alternative. Thanks for reading... 1
Author Maximus1108 Posted August 30, 2017 Author Posted August 30, 2017 Ok just looking to get some support maybe? Tips, similar stories...
d0nnivain Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 Grief I not linear. Since you have accepted that your character differences make you incompatible, you just have to ride the roller coaster of healing which forces you to express the varied emotions you described. Eventually it will smooth out. Hang in there.
preraph Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 Glad you're still self-monitoring so you kind of know where you are and what you're doing. It comes in waves, but the waves get smaller, but how long that takes is different for different people. And any ripple in the pond even after it's calm can stir feelings up again. But you learn to live with memories and moving on.
Author Maximus1108 Posted September 4, 2017 Author Posted September 4, 2017 Ok thank you. I was doing reasonably well until yesterday i found out she is seeing someone new and she already introduced him to friends (since they checked in in a restaurant). No I'm not stalking her on facebook, i just showed up on the timeline of 1 of her friends. TIP: also unfollow all her friends Man this made me cry. I know all that stuff about rebound and so on but man it's only been 4 weeks! I know she suffers from low self esteem and cant be alone so there you have it but it stings nonetheless. If she introduced him to her friends then the initial contact must have been during the first few days of the breakup. Keep in mind: when she broke up she was crying heavily and also said she bought too many clothes because she was feeling down. Well, not anymore I guess. If someone can say anything to this, it would be greatly appreciated.
preraph Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 Her low self-esteem has made her rebound to prop herself up. You have got to stop looking at any social media of hers and try to avoid anyone who will tell you about what she's doing or tell them please don't mention her to me. The sooner you do and the sooner you stop focusing on her and start going out and being active doing things you enjoy or take a vacation or something to remove yourself from this cycle, the quicker you will recover. Good luck. The goal is to stop caring what she is doing and why. You can't do that if you won't make an effort to distract yourself from focusing on the situation.
Rgr1012 Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 There's many of us on this site who feel your pain...so know that you are not alone. As anyone here will tell you, the first few weeks/months are difficult...there's just no way around it. I'm going through the same pain myself. ANd I know exactly what you mean...there are some moments, especially when I'm at work, where I just need to get up and walk away from my desk, the pain hits me so hard. But I also know that pain will pass. One of the first things I did after I get dumped was to immediately erase all of her contact info, erase all her pics on my phone and on Facebook, and unfollow her and all of her friends and family on Facebook (including her daughter). Any semblance of her on Facebook...if she pops up in someone else's post, for example...is gonna send you straight back into the darkness. If need be, you should consider unfriending her on FB. You might think that's harsh, but think of what she did to you? As hard as it may be, you need to accept that she's gone. The sooner you do that, the sooner you will start to heal.
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