Redguitar35 Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 (edited) I'm dealing with a disturbing situation. I've been seeing this girl for about three weeks. We met online. We text every day, and she often spends the night at my place. We've had sex many times. I went away on a business trip and she texted me constantly about how much she missed me and looked forward to seeing me again. We spent the whole day together at my house on Sunday, just kissing and watching tv. But I've noticed she's still logging into her dating profile, and I am too for that matter. I'm doing it more for entertainment I guess than anything else. If she asked me to delete it tomorrow I would do it. she's the best person I think I've ever met online, and the first in I don't know how long that I can see an long lasting relationship with. But I don't know how to bring up the fact that she's still online. Recently she asked me what are we, and I said what would you like us to be? She said she was looking for a relationship, but that she just got out of a two year relationship in April and she's not wanting to just rush into something but still wanted to know if I wanted a relationship. I don't know what to make of that. That's cool with me, but I worry about whether or not she is shopping for a replacement for me ? We're supposed to get together tonight but I'm hesitant to bring this up for fear of scaring her off. What to do? I am worried that if I don't broach this topic about the logging on that I'll lose her but that I'll scare her off if I do. I'm in between a rock and a hard place. Normally I wiuld feel fine about going with the flow, but I like her a lot and I think it'd be a. shame to lose her. Edited August 29, 2017 by Redguitar35
CptInsano Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 If you didn't want a relationship this situation wouldn't disturb you. I would simply be honest and say that you are looking for a relationship, too. Seems like she was fishing for that answer, anyhow. 1
Redhead14 Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 I'm dealing with a disturbing situation. I've been seeing this girl for about three weeks. We met online. We text every day, and she often spends the night at my place. We've had sex many times. I went away on a business trip and she texted me constantly about how much she missed me and looked forward to seeing me again. We spent the whole day together at my house on Sunday, just kissing and watching tv. But I've noticed she's still logging into her dating profile, and I am too for that matter. I'm doing it more for entertainment I guess than anything else. If she asked me to delete it tomorrow I would do it. she's the best person I think I've ever met online, and the first in I don't know how long that I can see an long lasting relationship with. But I don't know how to bring up the fact that she's still online. Recently she asked me what are we, and I said what would you like us to be? She said she was looking for a relationship, but that she just got out of a two year relationship in April and she's not wanting to just rush into something but still wanted to know if I wanted a relationship. I don't know what to make of that. That's cool with me, but I worry about whether or not she is shopping for a replacement for me ��? We're supposed to get together tonight but I'm hesitant to bring this up for fear of scaring her off. What to do? I am worried that if I don't broach this topic about the logging on that I'll lose her but that I'll scare her off if I do. I'm in between a rock and a hard place. Normally I wiuld feel fine about going with the flow, but I like her a lot and I think it'd be a. shame to lose her. You make a statement -- "you know, Xname, I've been enjoying the time we spend together and I am not interested in seeing anyone else now and I want us to shutdown our OLD pages and focus on each other for a while". If you "scare" her off, all it means is that she isn't on the same page as you are. She isn't going to be scared off just because you broached the subject. Her answer would be her answer regardless. 1
xUnknown Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 First, please wear protection. You don't know if she is seeing anyone else since she still has her profile active. It's been 3 weeks, to me, that seems pretty early to bring up exclusivity. If you do, you may scare her away - especially since she got out of a relationship in April. Personally, I'd just ride it out and see where things go. You don't want to maker her feel rushed, if she does, she'll pull back, then you'll start to cling to her, and it'll be game over. She asked you to delete your profile. Tell her you will if she deletes hers as well. Then from there bring up exclusivity since neither of your will (should*) have the profiles active anymore. If she is hesitant, or says she isn't ready to delete it, then you have the answer you're looking for. Keep yours active and tell her that if she won't delete hers to become exclusive with you, then there is no reason for you to delete yours.
Author Redguitar35 Posted August 29, 2017 Author Posted August 29, 2017 If you didn't want a relationship this situation wouldn't disturb you. I would simply be honest and say that you are looking for a relationship, too. Seems like she was fishing for that answer, anyhow. That's basically what I said when she asked what I'm looking for. I said I wanted a relationship and that if she wanted to be my girlfriend I would say yes. But she said she kinda wanted to wait a little while before we made things official. So that's why I'm not sure whether to bring it up again or let her be the one that does or just leave things as they are.
Author Redguitar35 Posted August 29, 2017 Author Posted August 29, 2017 First, please wear protection. You don't know if she is seeing anyone else since she still has her profile active. It's been 3 weeks, to me, that seems pretty early to bring up exclusivity. If you do, you may scare her away - especially since she got out of a relationship in April. Personally, I'd just ride it out and see where things go. You don't want to maker her feel rushed, if she does, she'll pull back, then you'll start to cling to her, and it'll be game over. She asked you to delete your profile. Tell her you will if she deletes hers as well. Then from there bring up exclusivity since neither of your will (should*) have the profiles active anymore. If she is hesitant, or says she isn't ready to delete it, then you have the answer you're looking for. Keep yours active and tell her that if she won't delete hers to become exclusive with you, then there is no reason for you to delete yours. We do wear protection for the sex. She's never asked me to delete my profile, she just wanted to know if I'm actually wanting a relationship because that's what she wants, but she's not ready to rush in and make it official just yet That's basically her side of it from what I understand. Does that seem contradictory?
CptInsano Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 That's basically what I said when she asked what I'm looking for. I said I wanted a relationship and that if she wanted to be my girlfriend I would say yes. But she said she kinda wanted to wait a little while before we made things official. So that's why I'm not sure whether to bring it up again or let her be the one that does or just leave things as they are. Then I would simply give her time, make sure that things continue to progress in the right direction, and wear a condom in the meantime. Or does the situation really bother you?
knabe Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 It doesn't seem contradictory. It seems like she wants you to man up and say you want her. So do it.
Author Redguitar35 Posted August 29, 2017 Author Posted August 29, 2017 Then I would simply give her time, make sure that things continue to progress in the right direction, and wear a condom in the meantime. Or does the situation really bother you? I think things are going great with us aside from this, but the fear of loss bothers me. I just worry about losing her to someone else online.
Author Redguitar35 Posted August 29, 2017 Author Posted August 29, 2017 It doesn't seem contradictory. It seems like she wants you to man up and say you want her. So do it. I pretty much already told her I want her. I said if she wanted to be exclusive, that's what I want, but she said she wanted to wait. I'm not sure how much more explicit with her I could be on that, short of asking her to delete her profile, which could very well backfire.
CptInsano Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 I think things are going great with us aside from this, but the fear of loss bothers me. I just worry about losing her to someone else online. Then the only thing that you can do is trust yourself in being the best her, and enjoy the time with her the best you can.
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