Ihaveaname Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 So I recently met a woman for dinner and drinks that I was friends with years ago before losing contact. I thought everything went perfect and that it was pretty clear it was a date only to be told at the end of the night when I made a move that she thought we was just hanging out and catching up - awkward. I might just be hopeful but think this was genuine on her part as she seemed shocked and taken aback. Is it possible to get a second date? And one where it's clear to her it is just that.
basil67 Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 The answer depends on the information you left out. When she discovered it was a date and she got over her shock, was her reaction one of pleasant surprise? Or did she make it clear that she was only interested in continuing a friendship? 6
joseb Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 From my experience this happens if a woman isn't sufficiently interested in you "that way". I think if she was interested, she would have been ok with you making the move. But yeah, need a bit more info to say for sure. 5
PegNosePete Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 I think if she was interested, she would have been ok with you making the move. Exactly. She's not interested. And rather than saying "I'm not interested" she tried to spare your feelings by giving you this line about it not being a date. What is the difference between a date and just hanging out, anyway?
basil67 Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 What is the difference between a date and just hanging out, anyway? One has a view to a romantic future and the other is spending time with a mate. 2
shellybing Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 So I recently met a woman for dinner and drinks that I was friends with years ago before losing contact. I thought everything went perfect and that it was pretty clear it was a date only to be told at the end of the night when I made a move that she thought we was just hanging out and catching up - awkward. I might just be hopeful but think this was genuine on her part as she seemed shocked and taken aback. Is it possible to get a second date? And one where it's clear to her it is just that. Be clear about your intentions. Say "I would like to ask you on a second date." I want to be more than friends. We cannot read minds. 3
shellybing Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 You don't actually know if she was interested or not. She could have just been caught off guard, maybe she had not thought about it that way yet. If she was interested, you can ask again. What is the worst that can happen? (But be clear about it being a date) 2
act00 Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Were you romantically involved before you lost contact? If not, her mind was clearly not in that mindset that there was anything more than just catching up. If you were, the planned evening does have an aura of date, so I can certainly see your confusion if things went exceptionally well, and attempting to rekindle that lost connection. I suppose you could just express to her that you were obviously attracted to her, and if she is as well, you'd like to take her out again. She may have a boyfriend or just not in a place to date, but you could have sparked something new, and while initially a bit taken aback, she might be thinking she'd like to give it a try. The best you can do is just put it out there and accept her answer. 1
kendahke Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 I think it comes down to how the invite was worded. Was it "Hey, I'd like to take you out for a date. I know a really good place for dinner. Let's say (day/time)" or was it "Hey, let's meet at (restaurant/time) to catch up" Also, did she recoil in horror or was she pleasantly shocked (because she may never have thought you considered her that way)? Did you at any time in the lead up to the rendezvous tell her what your feelings for her were or was she blindsided by this?
smackie9 Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 One thing I learned really fast, any "friend" or someone that has gotten in contact with me, and asks me out, I know it is of a romantic interest. I know she's playing dumb. Catching up is "lets meet for a coffee I haven't seen you in awhile"....dinner and drinks? give me a break....that's a date. Sorry but she's not interested if she recoiled from your advances. You don't need to express interest because you already did and she backed off. You are wasting your time. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 She may have been genuinely surprised that it was a date but if she was OK with it being a date, she never would have said anything. She just would have gone with the flow & responded to whatever move you made, probably by kissing you back. The fact that she verbally expressed surprise indicates that she has no interest in dating you because she only likes you as a friend. 1
Robratory Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 The answer depends on the information you left out. When she discovered it was a date and she got over her shock, was her reaction one of pleasant surprise? Or did she make it clear that she was only interested in continuing a friendship? In my experience, if she was pleasantly surprised, she wouldn't have said, "Hey, I thought we were just hanging out."
Robratory Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 So I recently met a woman for dinner and drinks that I was friends with years ago before losing contact. I thought everything went perfect and that it was pretty clear it was a date only to be told at the end of the night when I made a move that she thought we was just hanging out and catching up - awkward. Frankly, I would have said, "Wow, I didn't remember you being this stupid." MEN DO NOT SOCIALIZE WITH WOMEN JUST TO "HANG OUT!"
Miss Spider Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 She doesn't sound interested, sorry. But maybe it's still worth a shot to you.
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