LovelyRose Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Hi LS, I'm just curious on what you guys have to say to this. After you break up with someone, do you delete them from your social media accounts? What about their friends and family? My last ex we ended on good terms. Then he became bitter after he found out I found someone new. He told everyone I cheated on him which I definitely didn't. He knew he was lying and only accused me out of being hurt. I forgave him and we are good again and still on my list. I feel bad deleting his family on my list but I guess I shouldn't care anymore as they are not part of my life anymore. But one of the cousin I really like and still talk here and there. I'm just curious what would you guys do?
smackie9 Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 I wouldn't really know. I would be too devastated to be worried about deleting people off my social media. I guess I would just leave that up to them. I most certainly wouldn't be posting anything for awhile. It's hard to say what I would do....I don't like thinking about it that's for sure.
preraph Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 You need to delete them all, him and family and friends, from your social media and stay completely away from theirs so you can move on. Otherwise what happens is you end up thinking each other is posting a photo just for your benefit and one or the other keeps hanging on to that thread of hope. You don't want anyone getting at you that way.
Steve51 Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 I do not care much for social media. Why the need to share your life with others? People treat social media friends like they are real friends. Why do I need to see countless pictures of my niece's kids or hear about how they went to the park and had hotdogs for lunch? I have about 5 social media friends and I do not follow any of them, not even my wife. You owe nothing to people you only knew through an ex. They are not your friends. They are friends of your ex who want to get involved in your life. People need to realize that real friends just do not post, the interact with you on a face to face basis and help you when you need help rather than just post their good wishes.
coolheadal Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Hi LS, I'm just curious on what you guys have to say to this. After you break up with someone, do you delete them from your social media accounts? What about their friends and family? My last ex we ended on good terms. Then he became bitter after he found out I found someone new. He told everyone I cheated on him which I definitely didn't. He knew he was lying and only accused me out of being hurt. I forgave him and we are good again and still on my list. I feel bad deleting his family on my list but I guess I shouldn't care anymore as they are not part of my life anymore. But one of the cousin I really like and still talk here and there. I'm just curious what would you guys do? Block them all, because they're not part of your life and he's not part of your life. He told everyone you cheated on him which was a lie. No matter what he did, it was rude for him to do that to you, lost of respect for you. Do not need to have him or his family on your list. They will never be on your side they'll take his side over you. Can't trust them either. Trust me I've been though this prior, it never works out in you favor. Get them out of your life all together. Start your new life without drama, and toxic family values. You just don't need the headaches.. 1
smackie9 Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Your past experience should be a good indicator in what to do next time you breakup with someone. TBH it's always best not to post intimate details of your life on social media to begin with. It's nobody's biz wax. 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 My ex-husband...yes, deleted him. But not his family. My most recent ex-boyfriend, I was only friends with his mom, and didn't delete her, and then my ex actually joined FB after our split and friended ME. He rarely uses it so I don't care. There aren't any residual hard feelings. There's no way I'd be social media friends with my ex-husband. We're not friendly. I don't care to see his life. 1
NexttP Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Your exes are not their family. If you have good friendship with any of the family, keep it. If not, drop them - as you would any other "not so friendly" friends on facebook. They're not "family of my ex," they're individuals. 4
loverboy69 Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 My older brother is a serial dater and has introduced countless women to our family whom we've all embraced and befriended. Just as we begin to become close to them (Facebook official friends) that's when the relationship abruptly ends because he doesn't want to be tied down and gets scared of the idea of committing again. I have 11 of his exes as "friends," on Facebook although I admit I don't post anything on their pages. They don't unfriend me and I don't unfriend them. It would be, in my honest opinion, very selfish if he were to insist on us unfriending his exes (online or in person) just because his romantic interests fizzle out. That's his problem not mine. 1
act00 Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 It really depends on the circumstances. Sometimes you lose people in the "divorce," (breakup) and there is carnage. You have to dump the good friends due to their involvement with the toxic ex. I blocked all my ex-husband's family so they couldn't friend me or accidentally see anything. The situation was toxic, and I didn't need some minor "like" or FB post getting turned into some catastrophe or character assassination. My ex had a habit of turning a benign situation into something huge and irresponsible, so it was self-preservation, and for as much as I liked some of these people, I lost them in the divorce. Your ex caught wind of a new guy and proceeded to the character assassination, and part of this was caused by your continued communication with mutual friends and his family. Sometimes you need to unfriend, block, or restrict what can be seen, even if it seems unfair. Someone either told him about it (who's the one stirring up drama), or he saw one of their likes or comments and things blew up from there. Sometimes you have to cut off the appendages, even if you wish you could maintain friendship. If you trust this family member, and you're friends, you can maintain. You have to trust them to be discrete. If your personal life becomes his fodder due to this friendship, you'll have to be honest about it and let them know why you can no longer communicate with them. You could simply restrict what certain people see when you post, so that you don't have to unfriend.
GunslingerRoland Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 I don't typically think there is anything wrong with keeping your exes friends/family on social media, until something like this happens. When this happens you cut all ties.
Author LovelyRose Posted August 29, 2017 Author Posted August 29, 2017 Oh my apologies guys. I actually don't have any problems with any of them. I got curious because i was thinking of cleaning up my friend's list. Because of the fact I really don't have issues having them on my social media is the reason why I'm not sure if I should delete them. This is my first time having exes family on my FB. With this ex I mentioned, until now I have no clue how he found out about my current bf. If you follow my thread, my family don't know about us. So I haven't posted anything about me having a new bf. I rarely post either. Usually my family and friends just tag me. But this is a whole different topic which I had few threads on. My ex claimed a friend of a friend that works at Southwest saw me flying the first and second time I went to see my bf (we are long distance). Sounds total bullcrap to me but I gave up asking and gave up wondering. Thanks guys and sorry for the confusion.
limichelle Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 I never leave a trace of my ex anywhere in my life. I get rid of photos, delete everyone and that ex off social media, it's my way of wiping the slate clean so I can move on. That's just how I cope. For you if he's going to be nasty about you posting about your current love life which is none of his business. I would definitely delete him. Lisa
Redhead14 Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Hi LS, I'm just curious on what you guys have to say to this. After you break up with someone, do you delete them from your social media accounts? What about their friends and family? My last ex we ended on good terms. Then he became bitter after he found out I found someone new. He told everyone I cheated on him which I definitely didn't. He knew he was lying and only accused me out of being hurt. I forgave him and we are good again and still on my list. I feel bad deleting his family on my list but I guess I shouldn't care anymore as they are not part of my life anymore. But one of the cousin I really like and still talk here and there. I'm just curious what would you guys do? BDIEF -- Block,Delete, Ignore Everywhere Forever . . . You can keep the cousin on your list if you really want to but I'd keep contact very limited for quite some time. Triggers come from all kinds of places when you least expect them.
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Apart from my husband, I only dated one man who had and was active on social media. In the case of my husband, even though we parted ways amicably and are great friends to this day, having him connected on social media, particularly when he started dating his now partner of 5 years, it was just too hard to witness. She hated that we were friends online and especially off and went out of her way to 'mark her territory' by going on a ridiculous bingefest posting, tagging, liking, sharing and commenting everywhere she could to the point where even HE told her to cool it. Since deleting him many years ago, it's been wonderful and I think we're better for it. As for his friends and family, it was a harder of a decision than deciding to keep my husband as a friend but then came to conclusion that it was better to only keep those who I had special relationships with and cut the rest. It was a decision for ME and my sanity and I couldn't have cared less what anyone thought back then and still to this day. In the case with the one and only man I ever dated with an active social media account, we had been friends for years and were connected on social media long before we ever started dating. Once we broke up, I deleted him off everything. We are still friendly and have many mutual friends but again, it just made better sense for ME not be connected to someone as active as he was especially right after a break up. As a rule, I never add anyone I'm dating to my social media, especially someone new or someone I'm dating casually or short term. Then again, I make a point of avoiding men who are active on social media for all the reasons that have been hung out to dry in this forum about the negative impact social media has on relationships.
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