dd05432 Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Hi everyone, So I started a new relationship several months ago. Things started off well but have been going downhill ever since. Just before we started dating, I found out my boyfriend got a DUI 6 years ago. I was upset that I found out through a friend, but I could see why he didn't tell me and I forgave him. One day we were out together and I saw something come up on his phone. I asked him about it. I wasn't snooping or looking through his phone - I literally saw it pop up when he had his phone out. He had a fake Facebook page that he says he made awhile back to see what his ex was doing and then forgot about it and that he wasn't using it. Once again, I forgave him, but I am still a little put off by that. Now we have a couple more issues. Whenever I am upset about something he says or does, he says something along the lines of I'm too emotional/sensitive/get mad too easily/get mad about stupid stuff. He makes me feel like pretty much any time I'm upset it's for a stupid reason and that I'm not entitled to my feelings. I also found out last night that he stole a chemical from work. He had an extra bottle that was supposed to be used on a job, but instead sold it to a friend for a profit. This is a grown man. He could've put his job and entire future at risk - he said he knew what he was doing was wrong, but did it anyways because he was angry at the company for not giving him his raise. Now, it's not just him - I have my issues as well that definitely do contribute. I sometimes do get mad about things unnecessarily and I can be nit-picky and moody. I just wanted to get some opinions and see what you guys think. Thanks!!!
Gaeta Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Just before we started dating, I found out my boyfriend got a DUI 6 years ago. I was upset that I found out through a friend, but I could see why he didn't tell me and I forgave him. One day we were out together and I saw something come up on his phone. I asked him about it. I wasn't snooping or looking through his phone - I literally saw it pop up when he had his phone out. He had a fake Facebook page that he says he made awhile back to see what his ex was doing and then forgot about it and that he wasn't using it. Once again, I forgave him, but I am still a little put off by that. Now we have a couple more issues. Whenever I am upset about something he says or does, he says something along the lines of I'm too emotional/sensitive/get mad too easily/get mad about stupid stuff. He makes me feel like pretty much any time I'm upset it's for a stupid reason and that I'm not entitled to my feelings. I also found out last night that he stole a chemical from work. He had an extra bottle that was supposed to be used on a job, but instead sold it to a friend for a profit. This is a grown man. He could've put his job and entire future at risk - he said he knew what he was doing was wrong, but did it anyways because he was angry at the company for not giving him his raise. Now, it's not just him - I have my issues as well that definitely do contribute. I sometimes do get mad about things unnecessarily and I can be nit-picky and moody. I just wanted to get some opinions and see what you guys think. Thanks!!! I would not care about the DUI that happened 6 years ago but everything else would disgusts me a great deal. Fake profile to follow an ex and stealing company's property as a revenge is indicative of serious mental problems and limitation. This man probably has the emotional maturity of a 14 year old. I would not want someone like that anywhere near me.
Versacehottie Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 And you're still with him because? The red flags are waving. I would dump him. You are being given signs that he will do or say dishonest things. On top of that he flips things around on you where you don't trust that you have a right to be yourself (too emotional, sensitive etc). There is more risk inherent in this relationship than is worth taking on. It doesn't seem like it makes you feel good now--I doubt that will get better; it's likely to get worse. Stealing from work is a character issue. He will probably continue to dishonest things, including to you and especially they will affect you since he is your partner, if and when he can get away with them--often even when he can't. These types usually will do the "crime" and then tell themselves they will deal with repercussions, when and if they get caught. Not a good investment of your time/future. Good luck
Author dd05432 Posted August 28, 2017 Author Posted August 28, 2017 Thanks everyone. Another thing is that when I got mad about the whole stealing from work thing, he told me that the whole situation didn't even concern me - to which I said that if he thinks his actions don't affect others and he's going to be that selfish, maybe he should just be single. He didn't like that too much. He knew better but did it anyways. I told him he could have lost his job and he said but he didn't get caught. Makes me wonder what else is okay to do as long as he isn't caught.
Versacehottie Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Thanks everyone. Another thing is that when I got mad about the whole stealing from work thing, he told me that the whole situation didn't even concern me - to which I said that if he thinks his actions don't affect others and he's going to be that selfish, maybe he should just be single. He didn't like that too much. He knew better but did it anyways. I told him he could have lost his job and he said but he didn't get caught. Makes me wonder what else is okay to do as long as he isn't caught. Well yeah, so he is exactly as I said. And it does affect you. If you were living together or married, him losing his job would greatly affect you. He might even ask you to do questionable things to protect him when he gets into trouble in the future, which you might do because maybe your safety or the roof over your head will be at risk. Anyway, that's all dramatic end of things. Bottom line, he's not bringing or showing you his best, it will definitely be turned around onto you IMO (already has in my view)...why waste time with a guy like that. It's just heartache and immature thug life.
Author dd05432 Posted August 28, 2017 Author Posted August 28, 2017 And you're still with him because? Honestly, I have no idea.
smackie9 Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 I'm a manager, and I despise self entitled employees like him, they think they are so owed. There is a reason why he doesn't get a raise....his sh&^%$ attitude. Secondly, he is gaslighting you, and that is a form of mental abuse. You have a real winner there...NOT! Good god woman this guy is a loser, dump his a$$.
kendahke Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Honestly, I have no idea. Yes you do; you're scared to admit it because then some action will need to be taken by you and you're too comfortable in your relationship to get out of it. Stealing from the company because he's mad at it sounds like something an immature, self centered idiot would say. How egregious does his behavior have to get before you dump him?
NexttP Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Yes you do; you're scared to admit it because then some action will need to be taken by you and you're too comfortable in your relationship to get out of it. Stealing from the company because he's mad at it sounds like something an immature, self centered idiot would say. How egregious does his behavior have to get before you dump him? Bold and to the point, I like it. Look, being single is not that scary.
Robratory Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Thanks everyone. Another thing is that when I got mad about the whole stealing from work thing, he told me that the whole situation didn't even concern me - to which I said that if he thinks his actions don't affect others and he's going to be that selfish, maybe he should just be single. He didn't like that too much. He knew better but did it anyways. I told him he could have lost his job and he said but he didn't get caught. Makes me wonder what else is okay to do as long as he isn't caught. How did you find out? Did he tell you? I can see someone doing it in a fit of anger, but then that's a dark secret to carry around. We all have dark secrets, but we're supposed to keep them secret. If he didn't, that's a bigger deal than the stealing itself.
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