bhsunny21 Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Okay, so this is pretty much me just dumping on me getting dumped. I just got broken up with in an email. An EMAIL!! How lame is that? I just can't believe it. He said it was because he didn't want to hear me cry. Well, I wasn't impressed. Anyway, it was a pretty serious relationship for 5 months that moved too quickly, but I thought it could have worked out. But, I was by myself in thinking that. I really thought that I could see myself with this guy for a long time. He was such a great guy. Handsome, funny, goofy (like me), smart....and he said I was the same. He told me up until the day he ended it that I was the best girlfriend he has ever had. But obviously, I wasn't. I don't know what to do from here. He says if we are meant to be we will be. I do believe that too, but I don't know how life will be without him. He has taken such a huge part of my heart, and now it is empty. I have been through break ups and stuff, so I know I can move on, but this one was different. My feelings for him were different. Well, I appreciate you enduring my rant and if you have any advice, it would be even more appreciated. I guess I know what I have to do...but I don't know how long it will take before I am strong enough to do it. Thanks all...
renee70 Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 I can't even begin to imagine why someone would feel the need to do something like that in an e-mail, how unfeeling and insensitive. My advice is to keep busy and try (as hard as it may seem) to not think or dwell on the two of you. Best of luck to you.
Author bhsunny21 Posted August 12, 2005 Author Posted August 12, 2005 Thank you, Renee, for your words of encouragement. So far, I have been trying to keep myself busy with friends, although it is very hard not to bring him up or think about him. I have very supportive friends and they are all on my side. I am very lucky in that respect. Thank you again and I appreciate your response
caring guy Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 Hi I have recently been dumped in person, but for 2 weeks before that she was on holiday & when she called, it was all honey, sweetheart, xxxx, baby etc.. & when she got back she told me. I had an incline she was 2timing me & she was, i'm inconsolable & my heart goes out to you. I kinda wish she hadn't got my hopes up though! Be ok
Author bhsunny21 Posted August 13, 2005 Author Posted August 13, 2005 I have recently been dumped in person I am sorry! Sounds to me you are better off if she was two timing you I know it must hurt. I found out that my ex put up an online personals ad the day after I got the email breaking up with me. lol He told me he needed to be alone! I guess not... It will get better for you. It is still hard for me, being only a few days, but it is getting easier each day. I wish the best of luck for you and let us know if you ever need to talk!
Tuesday Posted August 15, 2005 Posted August 15, 2005 Don't lose heart, this man is gutless and that is why he did it by e-mail. Did he give you a reason at all? If not he probably has another girl on the go - sorry to be blunt but that is how men are in my experience. Sorry to any guys reading this I hate to generalise but....evidence does speak for itself). You sound pretty like me in the whole intense relationship thing. Just remember that you have to go this low to appreciate the highs and they will come back, but maybe not with him. I really think you should forget this one now, he sounds immature. But, if you are anything like me, you won't. Whatever you do from here, just remember that female solidarity prevails even in the face of heartbreak, and you will get through this. Good Luck!
mabel Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 Hi, I would have loved to have gotten even an e-mail. After 9 months with, and five years as friends with, my ex-boyfriend, in March he just disappeared never to be heard from again. One Saturday morning he emailed me to tell me he'd booked a March Break Caribbean cruise -- for himself, his kids and his ex wife. ("just for the kids", he said.) I got upset that he would be vacationing with his ex wife, and that was it. Vanished. He wouldn't accept phone calls or messages, wouldn't acknowledge my emails............I didn't even know he'd left me until it settled in on me in the fulness of time!! In recent months I have emailed him (ie on his birthday -- stupid stupid woman, when will I learn?) and have gotten one or two sentences in reply. "Have a great summer," he says, or "Hope you're having a great summer," as if I'm just an acquaintance. He has never spoken to me. It has been almost six months and I'm still completely traumatized. I can't seem to pick up the pieces. Maybe I fear that if I let go of it, it will mean I'll have to accept that it really is over. He really doesn't want me. He does not miss me; he's not going to regret his decision or make the curtain call that commitmentphobes often do. He's never comiing back. I've tried to date, but always come back feeling even worse and missing him more. I don't understand it...I thought he was the best man I ever knew. He was kind and gentle and considerate and affectionate, and I thought we were happy -- although when I pick back through the rubble, there were signs. I know rationally that I am STUPID to mourn this cruel man. But I can't seem to get my heart to listen to my head. I'm just so tired of the pain. I want this all to go away the way the wind blows the clouds out. Is this going to be with me forever? Thanks, Mabel
Author bhsunny21 Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 Mabel, it is so hard to try to move on if you keep blaming yourself! You are definitely not stupid! I kept/keep saying that about myself and I know it is not the way to be. You have to remember that you are an intelligent and beautiful woman and you don't deserve to be cast aside the way your ex did to you. It is good that you are trying to move on and date and it will take a long time to move on. But, if you keep telling yourself that you are stupid, then it will make it 100 times harder! Please don't lose faith in yourself or in others because of the actions of this man. Try to be strong and just remember that not all men are like this! I am trying to keep that in mind too! Never underestimate the power of good friends that are still in your life. They care about you and, if they are anything like my friends lately, they will do everything in their power to help you! Even if that means some encouragement or even some harsh reality. Good luck, and remember that you are GREAT!
Silas25 Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 I just got broken up with in an email. An EMAIL!! How lame is that? I just can't believe it. Well I can relate to you. I was just in the same situation yesterday. My bf of alittle over a year did it over email. Things have been going down hill for a few months. I have to say, yesterday I was angry, today I am so heartbroken. I have had no contact and things are better that way I know. I hope you are hanging in there!! I am trying to do the same myself, but it is never easy. Silas25:(
slubberdegullion Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Yea, it seems pretty lame that he broke up with you via email... ...but... ... it doesn't necessarily mean that he's weak or didn't want to face you. It's very possible that he used email because he could sit and think and compose, instead of having to deflect all sorts of tears and bawling and all the rest. For all that women know about men, they still don't get the fact that men would rather not have to deal with crying and wailing and all the rest that comes with a break-up. Now, I'm not defending the guy or his methods; I'm just saying that simply because you'd prefer to handle the situation differently doesn't necessarily mean that he should handle it the same way you would. <dons asbestos suit>
littlekitty Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I'm just saying that simply because you'd prefer to handle the situation differently doesn't necessarily mean that he should handle it the same way you would. <dons asbestos suit> I'm going to have to pull you up on that one! I'm sorry but if you respect a women enough to enter her bed and her life, then you can sure as hell respect her enough to tell her its over to HER FACE. It's a respect thing IMHO! Just because he doesn't want to deal with the crying and wailing as you so nicely put it - some of us have a little dignity you know! - doesn't mean he shouldn't be a stand up man and do the right thing. Jez.....!!!
slubberdegullion Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I don't disagree with you, littlekitty. But respect works both ways. If he chose that method to tell her that it's not working out, then he's got his reasons and maybe - just maybe - she should respect that. Again, I'm not defending the guy or his choices; it seems cowardly and disrespectful to me. But since I don't know much (or anything, actually) about the people involved personally, I'm a bit leery of making any type of value judgements on what should or should not have taken place. Point is, what's done is done. Time for both parties to move on.
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Well, you can try to turn it around and see it this way: you have ridded yourself of the sort of guy who breaks up with girls in emails.
littlekitty Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I don't disagree with you, littlekitty. But respect works both ways. If he chose that method to tell her that it's not working out, then he's got his reasons and maybe - just maybe - she should respect that. Again, I'm not defending the guy or his choices; it seems cowardly and disrespectful to me. But since I don't know much (or anything, actually) about the people involved personally, I'm a bit leery of making any type of value judgements on what should or should not have taken place. Point is, what's done is done. Time for both parties to move on. Yeah I see where you're coming from! Both you and LB (as usual) offer the smart advice.... MOVE ON!
flowergirl Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Damn, what a punk!!! Yeah, you're so lucky to be rid of that guy, find someone who actually respects women.
kscholze Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 I cant imagine why anyone would break up over an email, but i sometimes just stop answering calls to girls I date. Thats not very noble either. But after 3 months I think I would do it face to face. I think when they do it over email of text they arent very sure of themeselves
jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Well, you can try to turn it around and see it this way: you have ridded yourself of the sort of guy who breaks up with girls in emails. He might've had something important come up. if i was you i will ask him what is the main reason of dumping and try and get to know whats going on with his personal life. ;)
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