rkm86 Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I have been talking to this girl from OkCupid and we made plans to have a breakfast date today at 9AM. We have been texting for awhile, and took a one week break in communication while she was on vacation in Florida. She would always text multi-paragraph messages and use a lot of emojis. As of last night, everything was confirmed and she said she was looking forward to it. I got a text from her before 7AM this morning saying she was seriously so sorry to do this, but she had to cancel because she was sick. She did not attempt to reschedule or mention that we should get together once she feels better. I responded saying that I hope she feels better and that we'll do breakfast another time or that we could just get a drink or something one night this week to break the ice. I haven't heard back from her. I was back on OkCupid this afternoon and saw she had a new profile picture and she was online. My gut is telling me I probably won't hear from her again. I try to keep double texting to a minimum, or leave large gaps between a double text. I thought about following up tomorrow morning asking how she's feeling, but is it really worth it?
Lobouspo Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 The fact she's already cancelling, and fixing up her profile, I would just block her and move on. Unfortunately, this is a common thing in OLD, especially with the free sites. 4
SevenCity Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Yea she doesn't want to go out with you. Don't double text - this may have been the reason she canceled as it makes you come off as impatient, needy, and stalkerish. Many guys out there are like that...don't be that guy. And please, PLEASE don't setup breakfast dates. There is nothing romantic or sexy about an omlet....that is unless you've slept with her the night before. In which case it's ok. If she actually cooks breakfast for you then put her on the girlfriend watch list! 3
Author rkm86 Posted August 27, 2017 Author Posted August 27, 2017 Yea she doesn't want to go out with you. Don't double text - this may have been the reason she canceled as it makes you come off as impatient, needy, and stalkerish. Many guys out there are like that...don't be that guy. And please, PLEASE don't setup breakfast dates. There is nothing romantic or sexy about an omlet....that is unless you've slept with her the night before. In which case it's ok. If she actually cooks breakfast for you then put her on the girlfriend watch list! I had only proposed a breakfast date because her profile said she liked them and wondered why they weren't more popular. I'm just confused since she has shown interest with her text messages. Why respond to someone consistently for days with lengthy messages only to decide they don't want to meet anymore? I was obviously doing something right to keep her interest up until she flaked.
SevenCity Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I had only proposed a breakfast date because her profile said she liked them and wondered why they weren't more popular. I'm just confused since she has shown interest with her text messages. Why respond to someone consistently for days with lengthy messages only to decide they don't want to meet anymore? I was obviously doing something right to keep her interest up until she flaked. The reason no one does them is they are a terrible idea. There is no way to transition into kissing her at 9:30 AM. There is no alcohol to loosen up her inhibitions, and it is just not romantic at all. Why did she flake? Could have been something you did (i.e. Double texting, something you said, another guy, anything). This happens often online. I had one chick I was going back and forth for weeks and she said she wanted to get to know me (and anyone) before she goes out on a date. I tell you, ANY woman who hasn't agreed to meet when I asked after 5-6 exchanges I never met in person. It's gotten to the point where I feel like it's a waste of time to continue interacting. You get your hopes up thinking "maybe this one is really serious and doesn't date a lot" but that has not been my experience at all. They all stopped messaging me at one point. That's why it's important to have other women in the mix. OLD is full of flakes - you have to get used to it. 2
JuneJulySeptember Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Why respond to someone consistently for days with lengthy messages only to decide they don't want to meet anymore? You're probably outside of the periphery of what she wanted and she was conversing with you because she was in a bit of a dry spell. At one point, I was talking to this woman who had a couple of teenage kids, and she was white and from the boonies. I'm a minority and am mostly a city guy, never married, no kids. But we talked for a while, and she was pretty detailed with her responses. And then one day ... nothing. 2
Author rkm86 Posted August 27, 2017 Author Posted August 27, 2017 The reason no one does them is they are a terrible idea. There is no way to transition into kissing her at 9:30 AM. There is no alcohol to loosen up her inhibitions, and it is just not romantic at all. Why did she flake? Could have been something you did (i.e. Double texting, something you said, another guy, anything). This happens often online. I had one chick I was going back and forth for weeks and she said she wanted to get to know me (and anyone) before she goes out on a date. I tell you, ANY woman who hasn't agreed to meet when I asked after 5-6 exchanges I never met in person. It's gotten to the point where I feel like it's a waste of time to continue interacting. You get your hopes up thinking "maybe this one is really serious and doesn't date a lot" but that has not been my experience at all. They all stopped messaging me at one point. That's why it's important to have other women in the mix. OLD is full of flakes - you have to get used to it. She flaked because apparently she was sick. Duly noted on the breakfast date idea. I'm not sure where I went wrong. Texting has been 1:1 and I only double texted her once. I have hardly had any flakes with OLD and I guess I am just an amateur when it comes to reacting to them.
Lobouspo Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I had only proposed a breakfast date because her profile said she liked them and wondered why they weren't more popular. I'm just confused since she has shown interest with her text messages. Why respond to someone consistently for days with lengthy messages only to decide they don't want to meet anymore? I was obviously doing something right to keep her interest up until she flaked. Lots of keyboard Romeos or in this case, keyboard Juliettes out there. OP, one thing I've learned with OLD over the years, it's best to keep your eyes wide open with no expectations. Flaking just comes with the territory. Nothing you did wrong. Don't overthink this stuff, because its a common thing and will just frustrate you to no end. Women get bombarded with messages and attention on dating sites. She may have been messaging other men and is focused on others she has been communicating with. She also might just like the attention and teases men in her correspondence. It really doesn't matter. Billions of others on planet earth worth your attention, not this one. 1
SevenCity Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 She flaked because apparently she was sick. Duly noted on the breakfast date idea. I'm not sure where I went wrong. Texting has been 1:1 and I only double texted her once. I have hardly had any flakes with OLD and I guess I am just an amateur when it comes to reacting to them. Regardless of the reason she gave you, the fact remains she flaked. Think about it. If you were REALLY excited to go out with a girl and got sick would you not say "I'm usually ok in a few days - can we plan something then?". It's very possible you did nothing wrong. You don't know the backstory and rest assured there are other guys. You want to focus on women who are excited to go out with you. You'll have a lot more fun and put in a lot less effort. Good news is she freed you up to meet such a girl. 1
Miss Spider Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I have been talking to this girl from OkCupid and we made plans to have a breakfast date today at 9AM. We have been texting for awhile, and took a one week break in communication while she was on vacation in Florida. She would always text multi-paragraph messages and use a lot of emojis. As of last night, everything was confirmed and she said she was looking forward to it. I got a text from her before 7AM this morning saying she was seriously so sorry to do this, but she had to cancel because she was sick. She did not attempt to reschedule or mention that we should get together once she feels better. I responded saying that I hope she feels better and that we'll do breakfast another time or that we could just get a drink or something one night this week to break the ice. I haven't heard back from her. I was back on OkCupid this afternoon and saw she had a new profile picture and she was online. My gut is telling me I probably won't hear from her again. I try to keep double texting to a minimum, or leave large gaps between a double text. I thought about following up tomorrow morning asking how she's feeling, but is it really worth it? As a woman, I can imagine why I'd do this. I wouldn't, because it's wrong, but I can imagine. She's not really that into you (insofar as you can be "into" someone you've never even met) But she thought 'hell, why not give it a shot'. However, when date rolled around, she couldn't muster the motivation to crawl out of bed, get ready, and go through the process of the date. She was probably always on the fence about going and if you're any good at reading people you probably sensed that. It's okay to try again in a few days asking her how she is and if she wants to try again, but I doubt she'll suddenly be more interested 1
rushed Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 As a woman, I can imagine why I'd do this. I wouldn't, because it's wrong, but I can imagine. She's not really that into you (insofar as you can be "into" someone you've never even met) But she thought 'hell, why not give it a shot'. However, when date rolled around, she couldn't muster the motivation to crawl out of bed, get ready, and go through the process of the date. She was probably always on the fence about going and if you're any good at reading people you probably sensed that. It's okay to try again in a few days asking her how she is and if she wants to try again, but I doubt she'll suddenly be more interested I pretty much agree with Cookie. But I actually have cancelled at the last minute. I see no harm in texting her again. One of the guys I cancelled on texted me again and he just seemed like a pretty cool guy that I did go out with him. And he did turn out to be a really cool guy. Things didn't work out between us, but we definitely had fun with each other on the two dates we did go on. Text her again. You never know.
kendahke Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I had only proposed a breakfast date because her profile said she liked them and wondered why they weren't more popular. I'm just confused since she has shown interest with her text messages. Why respond to someone consistently for days with lengthy messages only to decide they don't want to meet anymore? I was obviously doing something right to keep her interest up until she flaked. She is probably a scammer. They never want to meet in person. They'll go along with everything until that moment comes and then some reason comes up and they can't do it. Block her and move on.
Seriousperson Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Lots of keyboard Romeos or in this case, keyboard Juliettes out there. OP, one thing I've learned with OLD over the years, it's best to keep your eyes wide open with no expectations. Flaking just comes with the territory. Nothing you did wrong. Don't overthink this stuff, because its a common thing and will just frustrate you to no end. Women get bombarded with messages and attention on dating sites. She may have been messaging other men and is focused on others she has been communicating with. She also might just like the attention and teases men in her correspondence. It really doesn't matter. Billions of others on planet earth worth your attention, not this one. This is something I learned the hard way. I started online dating a lot at the beginning of the year and I learned not to get any hopes up we started dating seriously. A lot of men online gave me so much flattery and then start to play games after the 2nd or 3rd date. My approach to dates was no expectations whatsoever, if the guy tried to pull anything, I would be done and move to the next. Once I met my current bf, I knew there was something there, so I pursued it. 1
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