Mysteriouslady Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I will just go on to tell you about what happened cause I really need advice. I broke up with my boyfriend .He broke up with me for no concreat reason *so I think*.we just had a small misunderstanding one night about marriage that ended everything . I had been dating him for 2 years but known him for almost 6 yrs.since we had been together for 2 years I thought that maybe we should take our relationship to the next level and get engaged or start introducing him to family which he had been opposing.when I brought the issue up he just said he wasn't ready and left.he has not texted or called since then .its been six months now.I am ready to settle down for marriage and joined an online dating site . A month a go I met this guy online.he seemed so nice .during the times we talked.he always got me thinking he was the one..40yrs of age an 24yrs..and we planned on meeting....we finaly met and went out . the date went on just great*for me*.he was such a gentleman although he kept saying am young..we had dinner and later went out to some joints to have some drinks.our conversations were good.and i was really honest with him about my life.I may have gotten carried away cause I got tipsy and we kissed .we later went to his hotel room and we had sex..protected..*I had not planned for this* The next day after I went home .we keep talking and decided to meet again on the third day...he hasn't called me or texted..he is still around since he is leaving for his country in 6 days..am so anxious and worried.am I the one that blew everything up? Or am just being clingy.. I really thought he might be the one.is this just after breakup fever that makes me emotionally attached to the first man I have been with since my breakup? Should I text him and what should I say? I don't want to seem needy .
Reddice Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Well, I see you're from Kenya. I have no experience with the cultural aspects, but can tell you what I think from my point of view, as a man. We have a saying in my country: "Why buy the milk when you can get the milk for free?" What that means is that as a man, you're not going to enter in a relationship with a woman that sleeps with you easily. I am assuming this is the same with men in Kenya... You slept with him on the first date, he got what he wanted, so I don't think he's interested in a relationship anymore. Sure, maybe he would like to sleep with you again, but I don't think he will want to marry you. I know that in some African cultures there is a lot of pressure on getting married, but 24 years is still very young if I may be so honest. Marriage itself should not be the objective, but a happy marriage is. It takes time to find the right person. My advice would be to take your time to get to know a man before you actually decide to be in a relationship. Go on dates (dinner, no sleeping) with more men and try to find out what you like/dislike. If you find a man that respects you and loves you and treats you like a queen, then go with the flow. If he loves you, then he will have no problem asking for your hand in marriage.
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