Miss Spider Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 I made a huge typo. She didn't say "if she had an arrangement with someone else". She said "until she had an arrangement with someone else." She only wants to be with one person. Now that being said, I don't think either of us really know what this is going to look like. She may not stick to that. And I don't know how I would react if she started sleeping with someone else while seeing me. I think it's pretty obvious what she really wants is an exclusive relationship with me while I support her. She's just afraid to ask directly because it might drive me away. I may be OK with that but I'm not sure. I just met her... You seem to have a good attitude about this. Just take it slow, get to know her, see if it works out. If the prostitution thing doesn't bother you and she leaves it in the past when you get serious, could work out. Have fun, you crazy kids.
JuneL Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 The message is always: I would never stand in the way of your career, but if you'd rather take care of the family and home and not worry about money, I'll provide for us all. This kind of man is proud to be able to offer this to his woman. Practically, though, some men just don't have this ability financially. There are always guys who complain on here that some women don't contribute enough on their dates out; some even go as far as complaining that women fake a slow reaching for their wallets on their FIRST dates.
BaileyB Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 If the prostitution thing doesn't bother you... I'm sorry, this just made me laugh out loud. It sounds so innocent... like "if the fact that she lives an hour away doesn't bother you..." Just keep seeing her and see where it goes... It's just, kind-of hard to believe sometimes that this discussion is for real. 3
Robratory Posted August 31, 2017 Posted August 31, 2017 Because I feel like we have something real and I'd rather do so naturally when it feels right. The moment I start paying her, it clouds the issue as to whether we are really a couple or she is just sticking around for the $$$. She wrote back stating she reread what she wrote yesterday and it came out wrong. She said she isn't looking for someone to fully support her and that she wants to see me regardless. At some point though she wants an arrangement so she can quit the job she hates but stay in school. Then she asked me if I still wanted to see her if I she an arrangement with someone else. I just told her "I understand completely. This stuff is easier FTF. I'm looking forward to seeing you Thursday." You don't usually pay a daddy girl directly. You pay things for her, like her rent, her credit card bill, her tuition. You might give her a check now and then, but husbands who control the purse strings do the same with their wives. Anyway... I got your if/until correction, so now it seems we have all the information. She likes you, but she also needs money, and she'd rather you be the one supporting her, but if not, she's willing to continue looking through the website. So that's really the question. Are you ready, willing, and able to provide for her like you would any other woman (if you're a traditional man)? If not, then that's it. Don't waste her time, and don't make things harder on you both. But don't lose her number just yet. Let's see what happens after a month or two of her trying to find an "arrangement." She's quickly going to discover it's all creeps. You were the exception of a lifetime. Everybody else on that website is going to come across as creepy to her, or she's not going to measure up to what they're looking for. Some of those rich dudes are not content just with looks and a hot bod. They want someone educated, who can dine in good company, who possibly speaks other languages. They don't want some farm girl you can't take anywhere nice.
Author shy_actor Posted September 2, 2017 Author Posted September 2, 2017 This may have flamed out as quickly as it began and it couldn't have played out any worse. We spent the entire afternoon and evening together yesterday. We had a great time ending with passionate sex and she left very late at night. When she got home she texted "Am I too affectionate with you? I don't want to freak you out or anything." I didn't reply because I fell asleep. Then this morning she texted "We shouldn't see each other anymore. I don't think this whole SA thing is for me." I asked her what was up and she said she is confused and anxious after each time she sees me and doesn't think she can ever trust me because of how we met. Apparently she's been checking up on me and seeing that I've logged onto SA after every time I see her (which is true). The sad part is I've been doing it to view her pics and check up on her. I do read new messages but I haven't interacted with anyone else since I met her. I immediately deleted my account and texted her proof but she says she just doesn't think it will work and wishes we had met under different circumstances. So contrary to all the cynics out there, she obvious had genuine emotions for me and doesn't want my money. I don't think she would accept an arrangement with me even if I offered. The horrible thing is I went on the site offering cash in hopes of getting the GF experience without any of the emotional attachment. Instead, I ended up with an emotionally intense, albeit short lived, relationship that has left me feeling heart broken right now. The good news is it's only been 10 days since we met, so I'll probably be fine in a week, but right now I feel awful. I'm not convinced this is the last I'll hear from her, and if it isn't, should I see here again? The more I see her, it seems the greater the likelihood it will end in real heartbreak. She feels so insecure about us and is afraid she'll end up hurting me. I left things with her final text to me "I can't give you what you want right now" She's all I'm thinking about right now and all I want to do is text her... 2
amaysngrace Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 Send her flowers with a card that just says "thinking of you" She will probably like that. 4
SunnyWeather Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 I left things with her final text to me "I can't give you what you want right now" Why would she text that? DO either of you know what you want? It sounds like she is placing this-whatever THIS is-- in your lap and relinquishing responsibility for her feelings and actions onto you; not owning any of it. Your move... 1
Miss Spider Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 She gots issues. But she's an escort on a sugar daddy site...so, yea, water is wet, too. 5
elaine567 Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 She is either on the money trail and can't be bothered stringing this out for free any longer, she needs to see some cold hard cash. She has done the hard sell on you, and maybe now she has other offers on the table too. She does have bills to pay after all. She was not on that site merely for a bit of "fun". OR she may be up for having a bf, but I guess she doesn't want a bf who is a "client" nor someone who wants to be a sugar daddy nor a man who is obviously into the whole "paying women in return for sex" mentality... So are you going to pay her the money she wants and needs, the money she potentially could make on the site ie £2500-5000 a month plus other "expenses" and you then feel she is only using you for money or are you going to fight to make her your gf, but you know that she deep down she does not really respect or trust you as you are a "client"? I guess, she is still going to need an arrangement of some sort, and as you are now besotted with her, I guess that will be very hard for you to stomach. It was always going to play out this way really, to think otherwise was all about hope... The boy meets girl, and falls in love forever scenario, was polluted as soon as that site and money got involved. YOU already knew you are someone who gets emotionally invested very fast, so stop listening to guy friends who can compartmentalise and can use women for sex and not care a damn... that is obviously not you...
Robratory Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 I wasn't one of the cynics, but I was worried about the rebound factor. I'd say wait a month, and then contact her to see what's going on in her life. But if she's still angsty over all this, give up on it. You can't do all the work yourself. You have to have someone willing.
BaileyB Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 "I can't give you what you want" is a strange thing to text someone... Either she has issues and she is trying to let you down easily, or she needs to pay her bills and she realizes that she shouldn't be dallying around with you. I'm sorry it didn't work out the say you had hoped, but I don't think it was ever really meant to be...
JuneL Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 She's probably disappointed you haven't offered to give her some gifts so far.
Author shy_actor Posted September 2, 2017 Author Posted September 2, 2017 She's probably disappointed you haven't offered to give her some gifts so far. Can't let go of this huh? This is so obviously not the case here but it seems a bunch of you have already made up your mind. It's not very helpful advice...
JuneL Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 Can't let go of this huh? This is so obviously not the case here but it seems a bunch of you have already made up your mind. It's not very helpful advice... Okay, sorry. Before I bow out of this thread, just wanted to say it's a reality that she has to pay her bills, and I don't see any contradiction for her to want someone both she's attracted to and can support her financially.
OpenBook Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 The way it looks to me, she took your word for it when she responded to your ad: I went on the site offering cash in hopes of getting the GF experience without any of the emotional attachment. then she discovered you were becoming emotionally attached... totally contrary to what you said you were looking for... so she backed out. she texted "Am I too affectionate with you? I don't want to freak you out or anything." she texted "We shouldn't see each other anymore. I don't think this whole SA thing is for me." her final text to me "I can't give you what you want right now" Yeah, because you want something other than what you posted - and what she responded to! 3
PogoStick Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 You should let her go, chalk it up to experience, and learn that SBs are not girlfriends. They may look and act like GFs but they are not. Next time, go in with realistic expectations and keep the big picture in view. Try reading up on "bar girls", and the guys who employ them, in the Philippines, or Thailand. Those girls are real sugar baby pros. It's the same thing really. The veterans know the game, while the rookies (like you) always get it mixed up. It seems too good to be true, because it is. Yes there may be real feelings involved, and 2 people can get attached, but the girl is always playing the game in the end. Don't forget that and you can have a lot of fun without getting hurt (or taken for a big ride). 2
Ruby Slippers Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 I get the impression she likes you, but she knows that her desire for financial support takes precedence over her desire for love. She's convinced herself she really needs the financial arrangement and that's guiding her decisions. She even asked you if you'd be OK being with her while she has an arrangement with someone else. She's worried about the ramifications of mixing business and pleasure, and well, from a business/money-making perspective, that's shrewd. Even if she's new to this world, she's clearly aspiring to be a "pro". 1
kgcolonel Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 shy, here's one theory....as much as she is into you...and I do think she is...I also think she has someone advising her to keep her focus. You met her as an escort. Someone has introduced her in some way to this lifestyle....not necessarily a pimp or even a male figure but likely a girlfriend who like was said earlier is making a great lifestyle this way. She's likely being coached to stay the course....what do you think??? Personally, I don't know if i could ever become involved with an escort but and a big but, If if did, I would need clear definitions of what we were before it got to the feelings stage. What she wanted and what you want. I think she has some issues likely afraid of being hurt and thus ran on the first wrinkle.... If you really want her, better get to her quick before she goes further down the shoot to where she's either involved with another or does things that would make her unattractive to you. 1
Miss Spider Posted September 2, 2017 Posted September 2, 2017 I think maybe she likes him too, seeing he logs in, etc. Maybe she was being a little truthful when she said he's like a John And it would be hard to trust someone who employs prostitutes. maybe she didn't want to relationship like that or maybe hustlers and players like that always have trust issues. I don't know, just another theory 1
Author shy_actor Posted September 9, 2017 Author Posted September 9, 2017 I wasn't one of the cynics, but I was worried about the rebound factor. I'd say wait a month, and then contact her to see what's going on in her life. But if she's still angsty over all this, give up on it. You can't do all the work yourself. You have to have someone willing. So the truth came out over the past week or so. You actually were correct and nailed it right from the beginning of the thread. She joined SA because she was lonely, on the rebound, and missed her past life. She basically admitted to exaggerating the BS about not being able to trust me because she just wanted an easy excuse to end things. The real reason is she started talking to her ex again. But she wants to keep me in her life i.e. in orbit. First she asked if we could be just friends, then conceded that was ridiculous. We finally agreed to see each other again but to keep things simple. Well I saw her yesterday and we had another marathon 8 hour date. After sex, I asked her point blank if she was back together with her boyfriend and she admitted yes and that she was basically sneaking out to see me. I told her I want to see her again but that she needs to make a choice and I'm not cool with this situation for any length of time. She agreed but said they have a long history together and she just can't walk away from 8 years. So I asked why bother with me then? She told me that she's infatuated with me and can't stop thinking about me. Every time I text her it stops her dead in her tracks. I went silent for a couple of days and she felt fine and that everything was going to be alright but then I texted her and the cycle started all over again. She texted this morning "You're really sexy. I miss you!" "I seriously love every minute we are together and wish I could see you more often..." Well then breakup with your boyfriend that you're probably lying next to while texting me. Half of me wants to walk away, but I really really like her as well. Do I fight for this one just to enter a rebound relationship?
Miss Spider Posted September 9, 2017 Posted September 9, 2017 Ewww no she's coming to you when she for back up when she can't have her ex. He has her feels and will have them for a long time to come. You can't keep sleeping w her only because I think you already caught feels. Do not proceed
Ruby Slippers Posted September 9, 2017 Posted September 9, 2017 Are you OK with being "the other man", her side dish? I feel like no self-respecting man would go for being second in line, but maybe some men could just enjoy it for what it is. I also feel like it's bad karma to be having sex with some other guy's woman - meaning what comes around goes around, and you won't like it if it happens to you someday.
BaileyB Posted September 9, 2017 Posted September 9, 2017 (edited) Well, this just gets better and better... At first, you were ok with dating a woman who you met on an escort site, a woman who was seeking a sugar daddy to offer her money for sex. But now, you are willing to date and have sex with the same woman who is also now cheating on her boyfriend - with you. Have you had a head injury that we don't know about? What are we missing here? Because, no self respecting man would trust this woman or think that there is any potential for anything more than a one night stand. What kind of a long term partner do you think this woman would be? And why are you having sex with another man's girl? What are you thinking??!! Edited September 9, 2017 by BaileyB 1
Miss Spider Posted September 9, 2017 Posted September 9, 2017 (edited) Well, this just gets better and better... At first, you were ok with dating a woman who you met on an escort site, a woman who was seeking a sugar daddy to offer her money for sex. But now, you are willing to date and have sex with the same woman who is also now cheating on her boyfriend - with you. Have you had a head injury that we don't know about? What are we missing here? Because, no self respecting man would trust this woman or think that there is any potential for anything more than a one night stand. What kind of a long term partner do you think this woman would be? And why are you having sex with another man's girl? What are you thinking??!! I don't see this as a far leap xD Edited September 9, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1
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