Robratory Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Well, we met at that pub and shared a couple pints. She was slightly nervous and a little quiet, just as many women are at the start of a first or second date. She relaxed after she got a slight buzz going, became much more talkative, and then touchy feely. We resumed making out at regular intervals and that became the theme for the rest of the night. I paid for the drinks and we left because I wanted a bite to eat elsewhere. We walked down the street and I got a slice of pizza and we had two more pints. The huge news flash there was that SHE PAID! Even before that, I had already concluded that she was not a professional escort. I was more of a "pro" than she was - at least at being calm and quietly confident on a date. I asked her if she wanted to come hang out at my place for a while, fully knowing that the answer was going to be yes, and of course it was. I'm not going to kiss and tell too much other than to say we didn't sleep at all until she left at 430 in the morning. She definitely knows how to please a man but no more so than any woman who is experienced and enjoys sex. I definitely made sure I wore a hat. I really got to know her a lot better and now her story adds up. She's basically a bored white girl from the suburbs who likes to get in a little bit of trouble. She told me she was chubby in high school but went vegan and became fitness obsessed to the point that she is now almost anorexic. So the escort thing must feel empowering to her because she's still overcoming self esteem issues. She doesn't have that swagger of a girl who is hot and knows it. I like her the way she is. She hates her boring cubicle job and was dreading going the next day. She said she had to leave like a dozen times, but was way too easy to convince to stay. I'm pretty infatuated with her, but I think she likes me even more. We talked about both our experiences on Seeking Arrangement. She was supposed to have a second date last night with a guy who was prepared to start paying but she cancelled to see me instead. She told me she's been thinking about me morning noon and night. She also talked about this creepy 60 year old guy who offered her $2k/week but she was grossed out by him. I didn't straight out ask her if she is sleeping with other guys, but I suspect she is/has a little but not a lot. She got turned onto the site because one of her best friends from high school, who is married, claims she makes $300K/year doing it. I'm not sure if I believe that number but not too far off from that is plausible. We talked about what each of us wanted in a relationship and we basically agreed to start seeing each other on a regular basis. Either of us can walk away at any time but we're going to be 100% exclusive. It's kinda crazy. I've never had that conversation after one date, but we both really like each other and it seems the circumstances of how we met has eliminated all the usual game playing. We're both free all day Thursday so we agreed to spend the whole day together. We'll see where it goes from there... I was pretty sure from the start that she was just a regular albeit lonely woman very possibly on the rebound. Maybe she is sleeping with other guys, but so what? Lots of women sleep with other guys and are not escorts. Don't put blinders on, but also stop looking this gift horse in the mouth. Give it time and see what happens.
CryForNoOne Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Great story and I'm glad it had a happy ending so far for OP. But I can't help but chuckle about all the times women say looks don't matter as much to them as men. Yeah I'm sure that him being a male model had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with an escort not only giving it away for free but apparently falling hard for this guy. I'm sure that could happen to any dude here on LS...
coolheadal Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Ugh. Now I feel like she's laying it on thick. She just texted me "Morning handsome. I really miss you." This is going to be an interesting week and first date to say the least... Interesting site to know of, but I found a real women not on a dating site but at my job instead. I even moved her into my house here. I can do whatever I want too I am free to see who want where I want. But when it comes to dating someone it has to be real for me I do not tolerate scams, sugar daddy crap! Your situation is different, if you like her so much move her into your apartment or whatever you live in (dwelling). I would do that if the woman is so much into you. Everyone won't agree with what I just said but listen you do what you have to do. But if she starts asking for money then you have to question your relationship with her?
coolheadal Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Well, we met at that pub and shared a couple pints. She was slightly nervous and a little quiet, just as many women are at the start of a first or second date. She relaxed after she got a slight buzz going, became much more talkative, and then touchy feely. We resumed making out at regular intervals and that became the theme for the rest of the night. I paid for the drinks and we left because I wanted a bite to eat elsewhere. We walked down the street and I got a slice of pizza and we had two more pints. The huge news flash there was that SHE PAID! Even before that, I had already concluded that she was not a professional escort. I was more of a "pro" than she was - at least at being calm and quietly confident on a date. I asked her if she wanted to come hang out at my place for a while, fully knowing that the answer was going to be yes, and of course it was. I'm not going to kiss and tell too much other than to say we didn't sleep at all until she left at 430 in the morning. She definitely knows how to please a man but no more so than any woman who is experienced and enjoys sex. I definitely made sure I wore a hat. I really got to know her a lot better and now her story adds up. She's basically a bored white girl from the suburbs who likes to get in a little bit of trouble. She told me she was chubby in high school but went vegan and became fitness obsessed to the point that she is now almost anorexic. So the escort thing must feel empowering to her because she's still overcoming self esteem issues. She doesn't have that swagger of a girl who is hot and knows it. I like her the way she is. She hates her boring cubicle job and was dreading going the next day. She said she had to leave like a dozen times, but was way too easy to convince to stay. I'm pretty infatuated with her, but I think she likes me even more. We talked about both our experiences on Seeking Arrangement. She was supposed to have a second date last night with a guy who was prepared to start paying but she cancelled to see me instead. She told me she's been thinking about me morning noon and night. She also talked about this creepy 60 year old guy who offered her $2k/week but she was grossed out by him. I didn't straight out ask her if she is sleeping with other guys, but I suspect she is/has a little but not a lot. She got turned onto the site because one of her best friends from high school, who is married, claims she makes $300K/year doing it. I'm not sure if I believe that number but not too far off from that is plausible. We talked about what each of us wanted in a relationship and we basically agreed to start seeing each other on a regular basis. Either of us can walk away at any time but we're going to be 100% exclusive. It's kinda crazy. I've never had that conversation after one date, but we both really like each other and it seems the circumstances of how we met has eliminated all the usual game playing. We're both free all day Thursday so we agreed to spend the whole day together. We'll see where it goes from there... Good have you both left that site for good! Now you can be something better you can be what we call a real-time experience. Your in UK so values and morals are a bit different. You make out in front of the car and etc. You and her are making things right early. You seem to have fallen for her fast and she has too for you. Just be yourself with her and she's doing the same with you. Just never know how love turns out, but for you just hope for the best! It's good to have a nice start - continuation - life...
basil67 Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Did you confirm that she DOESN'T want you to be a sugar daddy to her? 1
Author shy_actor Posted August 29, 2017 Author Posted August 29, 2017 Practically, though, who's gonna pay her bills? She texted me yesterday afternoon and said "I had a lot of fun last night but am looking for an arrangement. I hate my job and am doing this to take a step back, focus on school, and have something distract me from being single. I totally understand if you're not looking for that - it's still pretty strange and uncomfortable for me. Also I feel like I could want this to be serious and I don't want that right now. You're an awesome guy and I really like you, but I just feel like I need to be single right now." I asked her what she wanted then, to which she replied "I was with you last night, not because I thought I was going to get something from you. I do like you and would want to see you. I don't want to see multiple people and I do think we're playing with fire here..." I'm still trying to process what she said. I think she is being sincere. I don't think it was a "it's not you, it's me" speech. I told her I was at work and wanted to reply that evening, though we continued to text about light hearted stuff the rest of the day. Anyway late last evening (probably after she was asleep), I texted her "I've been thinking about what you said earlier. Both of us want to be single but seem to have a hard time sticking to that plan. But it's too early to have that talk anyway. I want to continue seeing you and just keep things simple for now. If both of us continue to be honest about our feelings, we can figure it out as we go and neither of us will get hurt too bad. If we later decide to become exclusive, I'm prepared to support you. I have the means and would want to do it anyway if we reach that point. But I'd rather get there naturally. Does that make sense?" As far as I can tell, we are still seeing each other Thursday but I guess I'll know for sure today. 1
Popsicle Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 ^^^that was honesty. Good on her and I wish you both luck.
Popsicle Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 I still don't understand why you would have trouble paying her right now...
Author shy_actor Posted August 29, 2017 Author Posted August 29, 2017 I still don't understand why you would have trouble paying her right now... Because I feel like we have something real and I'd rather do so naturally when it feels right. The moment I start paying her, it clouds the issue as to whether we are really a couple or she is just sticking around for the $$$. She wrote back stating she reread what she wrote yesterday and it came out wrong. She said she isn't looking for someone to fully support her and that she wants to see me regardless. At some point though she wants an arrangement so she can quit the job she hates but stay in school. Then she asked me if I still wanted to see her if I she an arrangement with someone else. I just told her "I understand completely. This stuff is easier FTF. I'm looking forward to seeing you Thursday." 2
BluesPower Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Well whatever you decide... And I guess you understand the fact that she is OK with prostituting herself for an easier lifestyle. But then you must be OK with it because you were on the site. So I guess that it is a win win. I am not sure I could go there because I have very mixed feeling about prostitution in general. But this could work out, I think???
JuneL Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 At some point though she wants an arrangement so she can quit the job she hates but stay in school. Then she asked me if I still wanted to see her if I she an arrangement with someone else. Okay, so she must not hate this high-end sex job thing as much as she hates her current job. I thought I was asking the right question all along: who's going to pay her bills (in the meanwhile at least)?
SunnyWeather Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 (edited) Hi Shy Actor I understand you both were not prepared for what has happened, that there are some strong feelings developing quickly and you both see that this may be something much bigger than just an "arrangement". I'm going to throw in another consideration: there are many people in the world who have managed to go to school and work jobs they didn't particularly like without having to resort to prostitution, or being given a free ride; it's not easy but doable. In the end, it builds character, independence and integrity. I'm wondering about in the long term how much you would really respect her for taking the easy way out or with making conditions on her love from the git go with you. I'm also going to predict that this type of thinking (taking the easy route, expecting to be taken care of etc) would not go away and cause other issues in a more serious relationship later on, if you were to go there. It seems to me, and in my experience, when one falls in love, they are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work, and that sometimes means having to make sacrifices in the short term to build something for the long term, and this includes each partner being the best they can be, individually and collectively. I simply can't see you respecting her in the long term if she isn't willing to step up and show you what she's made of and what she's willing to do and contribute to being in a healthy, balanced relationship. Granted, it's too early to tell these things and to make any type of demands so soon, but I can't help but wonder why you would want to go into this with Damocles sword hanging over your head. This isn't an era when women don't have other choices to better their economic situation. It speaks volumes to her character and substance that she simply thinks getting a sugar daddy is the only way out of her being in a job she hates. Please note that I'm not a prude or making judgements here, the point I'm making has to do with the possibility that this might be something more than just having a good time and seeing each other as an arrangement, and to look at the bigger picture when navigating this relationship. Proceed with caution, but keep in mind how you think you will respect her in the long term if you are really considering her to be girl friend/life partner material, and also consider in yourself why you would want to be with someone who would have to rely on you for their total well being. Wishing you the best! Edited August 29, 2017 by SunnyWeather 4
limichelle Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 I echo SunnyWeather, We can't control our emotions and feelings as well as we may think. A lot of people find themselves getting more invested in the relationship then the other. I know this sounds ideal because of your career and not being home as much with always traveling, it sounds Wonderful she is on board. I would just be cautious her seeing you and then giving sex to someone else to pay her tuition. Things could get messy. You have to go in with an open mind but at the same time guard your heart a little bit. There really is no such thing as a part time relationship. That's why many end up divorced if their partner is always gone all the time. It's because you put your whole heart and devotion and it's even hard to do that part way. When you fall you will fall. Just be careful you know where the ground is so you don't get hurt. Lisa 1
Popsicle Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 Because I feel like we have something real and I'd rather do so naturally when it feels right. The moment I start paying her, it clouds the issue as to whether we are really a couple or she is just sticking around for the $$$. She wrote back stating she reread what she wrote yesterday and it came out wrong. She said she isn't looking for someone to fully support her and that she wants to see me regardless. At some point though she wants an arrangement so she can quit the job she hates but stay in school. Then she asked me if I still wanted to see her if I she an arrangement with someone else. I just told her "I understand completely. This stuff is easier FTF. I'm looking forward to seeing you Thursday." Okay, so she is going to give it to you for free, but still sleep with other dudes and charge them, and you are okay with that. I get it. I guess you got a good deal then. I don't know why you'd want to be a "couple" with a prostitute though... 3
Popsicle Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 She sounds like a nice young lady He'll wisen up. Men do not think very clearly before sex. They think clearly after sex. Women think clearly before sex, and do not think clearly after sex. 8
BaileyB Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 (edited) She said she isn't looking for someone to fully support her and that she wants to see me regardless. At some point though she wants an arrangement so she can quit the job she hates but stay in school. Then she asked me if I still wanted to see her if I she an arrangement with someone else. There it is... You are now "dating" a woman who is still willing to have sex with another man for money... Don't say that you were not warned. Edited August 30, 2017 by BaileyB 1
Author shy_actor Posted August 30, 2017 Author Posted August 30, 2017 Then she asked me if I still wanted to see her if she an arrangement with someone else. I just told her "I understand completely. This stuff is easier FTF. I'm looking forward to seeing you Thursday." I made a huge typo. She didn't say "if she had an arrangement with someone else". She said "until she had an arrangement with someone else." She only wants to be with one person. Now that being said, I don't think either of us really know what this is going to look like. She may not stick to that. And I don't know how I would react if she started sleeping with someone else while seeing me. I think it's pretty obvious what she really wants is an exclusive relationship with me while I support her. She's just afraid to ask directly because it might drive me away. I may be OK with that but I'm not sure. I just met her... 1
BaileyB Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 (edited) So, to be clear... Is it correct to say that she wants to date you, until she meets someone else who is willing to support her in exchange for sex? Unless, of course, you would be willing to support her financially... In which case, she will only date and have sex with you? But, she is afraid to ask you in a straight forward manner because she is afraid that it may scare you away... And, you are actually considering this? Do you really want to have a relationship with a woman who chooses her relationships based on the size of your bank account? Sarcastically, I feel the need to encourage you to think with your big head, not only your little head... Edited August 30, 2017 by BaileyB 1
CptInsano Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 I'm sorry, all I see is a trap. She will ask for money once the OP is emotionally attached, and when she finally leaves she will simply point to the fact that she told him so from the start. Maybe I'm just cynical, but I would at least consider that she is a professional at separating men from their money. 5
Ruby Slippers Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 If we later decide to become exclusive, I'm prepared to support you. I have the means and would want to do it anyway if we reach that point. But I'd rather get there naturally. Does that make sense? This is what pretty much every man I've ever dated says, minus the "naturally" part because that's obvious. I've never sought an "arrangement", but two of men's most natural drives are to protect and provide. Obviously, you'll just have to see how this goes. Maybe she wants the biggest & best deal, or maybe she wants something with more depth. Just be careful, as this does seem inherently riskier than a conventional courtship.
BaileyB Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 (edited) This is what pretty much every man I've ever dated says This has definitely not been my experience with dating, or relationships. While I don't disagree that most men feel it is their responsibility to protect and provide for their families... Most of the men that I know would rather have a partner than a dependant. At least she is being up-front about her expectations, and if you don't have a problem supporting a woman financially OP, then it's not a big deal. (Disclaimer, I'm not saying that stay at home wives/mothers are dependants - far from it. When a couple makes the decision that the wife/mother will stay at home it is because both partners have usually agreed that this is in the best interest of the family. And goodness knows, there can not be a high enough value placed on the un-paid work of a wife/mother in the home). Edited August 30, 2017 by BaileyB 1
elaine567 Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 Maybe I'm just cynical, but I would at least consider that she is a professional at separating men from their money. I would guess that too. She will be whoever you want her to be... 2
Ruby Slippers Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 While I don't disagree that most men feel it is their responsibility to protect and provide for their families... Most of the men that I know would rather have a partner than a dependant. The message is always: I would never stand in the way of your career, but if you'd rather take care of the family and home and not worry about money, I'll provide for us all. This kind of man is proud to be able to offer this to his woman.
Sweetfish Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 Sugarbabies are suppose to give you the illusion of being a girlfriend... your just another fly in the web and you have no idea what other flies are in the web. If she was looking to date guys she would be on a dating site. She is on this site to make money...if her friend is making 300k you are probably a pawn. She paid everything because its some other dudes money and the return for her will be much greater... 4
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