Met her on a "escort" site. Is she for real?

[morrowrd]

Well, prostitutes (the blunt term for "escorts") have feelings too. Yep, they can fall in love, have boyfriends, maybe even get married. The concern I have is that those in the industry have had to desensitize their emotions, harden their hearts, and partition themselves off to separate sex for profit, and sex for love. Being an old fashioned male, it's not like I can identify with the prostitute who falls in love and still is able to hold onto that career choice. Watching Dr. Phil and other shows like that over the years, I can see the defensiveness women involved in the sex industry have - trying to dismiss the age-old stigma that prostitution is wrong, is cheap, and cheapens them when the truth of the matter is that it does. They know it's wrong, and all that big talk and dismissing is their honest effort to convince themselves, as opposed to convincing others that they haven't cheapened themselves, and what they are doing is a worthy profession.

 

In my humble old-fashioned opinion, I feel your [love interest] plays a good game, one as old as civilization. Make the man feel special - right along with "the rest of her customers." Any time one has a comfort level selling themselves, and I consider porn, and strippers all in the same club as prostitution, how can the men in the "real" relationship with them actually feel or be special? The truth is, they're not. YOU'RE not either, sorry to break it to you.

Edited August 27, 2017 by morrowrd

[Robratory]

Sugar baby or not, her telling you she "really misses" you is a bit much. I don't mean any offense to you, to be clear. But what exactly can she really miss when she has interacted with you for a couple of days?

 

I keep thinking it's because she's on the rebound. She just got out of an 8-year relationship, and because she couldn't afford rent on her own, she's living with her mom.

 

She wants what she used to have, and that explains the sugar-daddy site she signed up to. The OP said she didn't have the hardened look of a long time pro, so giving her the benefit of the doubt, she probably figured she'd hook up and live with some guy who could handle half the rent.

[Robratory]

In my humble old-fashioned opinion, I feel your [love interest] plays a good game, one as old as civilization. Make the man feel special - right along with "the rest of her customers." Any time one has a comfort level selling themselves, and I consider porn, and strippers all in the same club as prostitution, how can the men in the "real" relationship with them actually feel or be special? The truth is, they're not. YOU'RE not either, sorry to break it to you.

 

I think we're jumping to conclusions. All we know is that she signed up to a sugar-daddy website. That doesn't make her a prostitute. A prostitute is someone who exchanges with various individuals specific sex acts for specific amounts of money. A sugar daddy, on the other hand, is basically a very generous boyfriend.

 

And from what the OP says, it doesn't seem like she's met any other men from the site. Lots of people go love-crazy. Think of how often women complain that guys blow up their phone, their Facebook, their instagram with "I love yous," and they're like, dude, we've had two dates.

[shy_actor]

I keep thinking it's because she's on the rebound. She just got out of an 8-year relationship, and because she couldn't afford rent on her own, she's living with her mom.

 

She wants what she used to have, and that explains the sugar-daddy site she signed up to. The OP said she didn't have the hardened look of a long time pro, so giving her the benefit of the doubt, she probably figured she'd hook up and live with some guy who could handle half the rent.

 

If I look at the facts I know, you're probably right. I'm naturally a doubter though so all the same skeptical and cynical comments I've read have already crossed my mind. What kind of prostitute wouldn't take advantage of our heavy petting to get paid that day? Or lives at home with mom and dad? Or shares her real name?

[shy_actor]

My buddy who turned me on the site had a very succinct way of breaking it down. He said: "You obviously want to f**k her. She obviously wants to f**k you. You just don't know if she's giving it away for free or wants money in the end. You will only find out by f**king her. So stop overthinking this and go f**k her..." I think I'll take his advice.

[Popsicle]

Personally, I don't think it's wrong to spend money on a prostitute/escort/whatever, as long as that's what you're looking for. However, once emotions come into play, then it's a whole different ball game. Feelings deserve to be protected at all cost. This girl can be either a master manipulator or she can have genuine feelings for you. Only way to know for sure is to take the financial stimulus out of the equation.

 

 

Would be interesting to hear/read how the next date goes.

 

Right. Strippers and escorts usually do have boyfriends who aren't John's. They still use the John's though and their boyfriends either begrudgingly accept it or more or less act like a pimp.

[Popsicle]

If I look at the facts I know, you're probably right. I'm naturally a doubter though so all the same skeptical and cynical comments I've read have already crossed my mind. What kind of prostitute wouldn't take advantage of our heavy petting to get paid that day? Or lives at home with mom and dad? Or shares her real name?

 

Elliot Spitzers escort did all those things. Watch "Client 9" it's on Netflix.

[Reddice]

My buddy who turned me on the site had a very succinct way of breaking it down. He said: "You obviously want to f**k her. She obviously wants to f**k you. You just don't know if she's giving it away for free or wants money in the end. You will only find out by f**king her. So stop overthinking this and go f**k her..." I think I'll take his advice.

 

Very subtle. Just how much cash should you have on you just in case?

[Ruby Slippers]

Enjoy the fun, but be careful. She's on a site called "Seeking Arrangement," so she's clearly seeking exactly that. I've read a few sad stories from sugar daddies, including one on this site, of heartbreak because the sugar baby they thought was "in love" with them was really just running good game to make good money. In the end, for these women it all comes down to the money. It began as the discussion of a business service. I think you'd be wise to keep that in mind.

[BaileyB]

My buddy who turned me on the site had a very succinct way of breaking it down. He said: "You obviously want to f**k her. She obviously wants to f**k you. You just don't know if she's giving it away for free or wants money in the end. You will only find out by f**king her. So stop overthinking this and go f**k her..." I think I'll take his advice.

 

Sounds like a fair assessment. Should you ask her to do an STD test before your date or wait to do one yourself after you've had your fun?

[lovephule]

I guess my biggest fear is that she is a master manipulator. She doesn't seem like the type and honestly I used to model so its not like she's out of my league if we were to actually date. I just don't want to invest real emotions if she is faking it. I'd rather just pay cash, even though I think I've decided against that also. I would rather meet someone with whom there is mutual physical attraction, but no mind games. My buddy who turned me onto the site is already giving me $h!t. He said "I went on a prostitution site to get laid but instead got myself a GF...:laugh:"

 

 

Ah, makes sense (though a manipulator who actually seems like the type is probably not a master ). I've heard of the site before but know nothing of the particulars or protocols involved. I do know that it's a site for commerce, and while it may be the business of luuurrve, it's still a business. If you haven't entered into any sort of contract with each other no one's scamming anyone by default.

 

Something to consider: she may be wondering the same thing about you. Someone who is close in age, attractive, personable, and could conceivably find a comparable GF with relative ease if so inclined might be setting her up to render services without a monetary return. Add to the mix your stated trade (professional make-believe) and that's a perfect storm.

[shy_actor]

Well we've moved up our date to tonight. Meeting at a pub near me. No cash requested yet. We'll see...

[JuneL]

Well we've moved up our date to tonight. Meeting at a pub near me. No cash requested yet. We'll see...

 

It sounds like her ex-boyfriend was paying for some of her bills. There are women (or men, for that matter) who only date people who can financially support them. So if she is your girlfriend in the conventional sense, would you be okay covering for her expenses?

[BaileyB]

Well we've moved up our date to tonight. Meeting at a pub near me. No cash requested yet. We'll see...

 

Indeed. It could be a case of "try before you buy" and "payment" may be expected in a different way, later in the relationship... Just because cash isn't exchanged for sex on your first date, doesn't mean that you won't end up paying in other ways down the road...

[Chilli]

Yeah guess, you'd find out after the deed that's one way.

But l dunno , l'd be expecting either think.

Women in something like that could be just amazingly crafty and cunning, turn it on'ish , you get the full show.

But once they get what they want or what it's all about, the curtains just close and off they go as if nothings happened.

 

l'd say it's a 50 50 right now call myself and l guess l'd be trying to be ready for either, she could be legit or she could be the master.

 

l'd def' wanna know if she's sleeping with anyone else though or still going ahead with the sugar daddy stuff and other men.

[basil67]

Indeed. It could be a case of "try before you buy" and "payment" may be expected in a different way, later in the relationship... Just because cash isn't exchanged for sex on your first date, doesn't mean that you won't end up paying in other ways down the road...

 

This ^

 

She's not a 'pay upfront' kind of prostitute. She's the kind who will give you the girlfriend experience if you cover her living costs.

[Miss Spider]

I agree with Basil, I would be really careful

Edited August 28, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[amaysngrace]

Why do you think you're going to get feelings for her?

 

Pretend you're starring in a porno.

[amaysngrace]

And by the way speaking of which...don't you think that probably nearly every girl you've ever dated wondered if you were for real since you're an actor?

[Sweetfish]

At the end of the day she needed money and applied to the site knowing she would exchange sex for money... Without your money... you are nothing... eventually another dude will out do you and she will jump ship. So what is your end game?

[lovephule]

Well we've moved up our date to tonight. Meeting at a pub near me. No cash requested yet. We'll see...

 

Interested to hear how this story plays out. Gotta admit I'm not wondering if she's for real or not. Just, "is she smart or is she stupid?"

[shy_actor]

Well, we met at that pub and shared a couple pints. She was slightly nervous and a little quiet, just as many women are at the start of a first or second date. She relaxed after she got a slight buzz going, became much more talkative, and then touchy feely. We resumed making out at regular intervals and that became the theme for the rest of the night. I paid for the drinks and we left because I wanted a bite to eat elsewhere. We walked down the street and I got a slice of pizza and we had two more pints. The huge news flash there was that SHE PAID! Even before that, I had already concluded that she was not a professional escort. I was more of a "pro" than she was - at least at being calm and quietly confident on a date. I asked her if she wanted to come hang out at my place for a while, fully knowing that the answer was going to be yes, and of course it was. I'm not going to kiss and tell too much other than to say we didn't sleep at all until she left at 430 in the morning. She definitely knows how to please a man but no more so than any woman who is experienced and enjoys sex. I definitely made sure I wore a hat.

 

I really got to know her a lot better and now her story adds up. She's basically a bored white girl from the suburbs who likes to get in a little bit of trouble. She told me she was chubby in high school but went vegan and became fitness obsessed to the point that she is now almost anorexic. So the escort thing must feel empowering to her because she's still overcoming self esteem issues. She doesn't have that swagger of a girl who is hot and knows it. I like her the way she is. She hates her boring cubicle job and was dreading going the next day. She said she had to leave like a dozen times, but was way too easy to convince to stay. I'm pretty infatuated with her, but I think she likes me even more.

 

We talked about both our experiences on Seeking Arrangement. She was supposed to have a second date last night with a guy who was prepared to start paying but she cancelled to see me instead. She told me she's been thinking about me morning noon and night. She also talked about this creepy 60 year old guy who offered her $2k/week but she was grossed out by him. I didn't straight out ask her if she is sleeping with other guys, but I suspect she is/has a little but not a lot. She got turned onto the site because one of her best friends from high school, who is married, claims she makes $300K/year doing it. I'm not sure if I believe that number but not too far off from that is plausible.

 

We talked about what each of us wanted in a relationship and we basically agreed to start seeing each other on a regular basis. Either of us can walk away at any time but we're going to be 100% exclusive. It's kinda crazy. I've never had that conversation after one date, but we both really like each other and it seems the circumstances of how we met has eliminated all the usual game playing. We're both free all day Thursday so we agreed to spend the whole day together. We'll see where it goes from there...

[Reddice]

Oh man. I read your update with a huge smile on my face. Surely nice to read a positive story from time to time.

 

Anyway, good luck to you guys, I wish you well. Hope she keeps picking up the tab from time to time so she's always reminded that you're not paying for her company.

 

And should anything happen, we're here to give you some counselling of course.

[JuneL]

Practically, though, who's gonna pay her bills?

 

Well, we met at that pub and shared a couple pints. She was slightly nervous and a little quiet, just as many women are at the start of a first or second date. She relaxed after she got a slight buzz going, became much more talkative, and then touchy feely. We resumed making out at regular intervals and that became the theme for the rest of the night. I paid for the drinks and we left because I wanted a bite to eat elsewhere. We walked down the street and I got a slice of pizza and we had two more pints. The huge news flash there was that SHE PAID! Even before that, I had already concluded that she was not a professional escort. I was more of a "pro" than she was - at least at being calm and quietly confident on a date. I asked her if she wanted to come hang out at my place for a while, fully knowing that the answer was going to be yes, and of course it was. I'm not going to kiss and tell too much other than to say we didn't sleep at all until she left at 430 in the morning. She definitely knows how to please a man but no more so than any woman who is experienced and enjoys sex. I definitely made sure I wore a hat.

 

I really got to know her a lot better and now her story adds up. She's basically a bored white girl from the suburbs who likes to get in a little bit of trouble. She told me she was chubby in high school but went vegan and became fitness obsessed to the point that she is now almost anorexic. So the escort thing must feel empowering to her because she's still overcoming self esteem issues. She doesn't have that swagger of a girl who is hot and knows it. I like her the way she is. She hates her boring cubicle job and was dreading going the next day. She said she had to leave like a dozen times, but was way too easy to convince to stay. I'm pretty infatuated with her, but I think she likes me even more.

 

We talked about both our experiences on Seeking Arrangement. She was supposed to have a second date last night with a guy who was prepared to start paying but she cancelled to see me instead. She told me she's been thinking about me morning noon and night. She also talked about this creepy 60 year old guy who offered her $2k/week but she was grossed out by him. I didn't straight out ask her if she is sleeping with other guys, but I suspect she is/has a little but not a lot. She got turned onto the site because one of her best friends from high school, who is married, claims she makes $300K/year doing it. I'm not sure if I believe that number but not too far off from that is plausible.

 

We talked about what each of us wanted in a relationship and we basically agreed to start seeing each other on a regular basis. Either of us can walk away at any time but we're going to be 100% exclusive. It's kinda crazy. I've never had that conversation after one date, but we both really like each other and it seems the circumstances of how we met has eliminated all the usual game playing. We're both free all day Thursday so we agreed to spend the whole day together. We'll see where it goes from there...

[SammySammy]

smh

 

Squares.

 

This is beautiful.