jamesh8 Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Me 27m, her 26f.; we've been together 10 months. Things started to get bad this May, when I caught her having inappropriate conversations on Facebook with a random dude. They were sexually explicit. She blamed it on me, that it's because I was not attentive enough and did not express my love for her. I dumped her after that but she cried and begged and pleaded to get back together. I caved in and accepted her back. Things didn't go as well after that anymore, as I couldn't trust her. 3 weeks ago we had a fight and I dumped her again. She then begged and pleaded and cried for a full week, even put a hand-written 4 page letter into my mailbox, etc., expressing her love, that she will never find someone like me, that she's sorry for everything she did, etc. I caved in and went to talk with her. She however then said she needs a "break" to think things over. She told me she would not like me to meet other people during the "break". 2 days later she has pictures with another dude on her Facebook after their first ever date, with selfies of them kissing, etc. with title "new beginning". She definitely did not know I can see them because we aren't FB friends... a common friend (she doesn't even know exist) told me these and sent the screenshots. Also, the new dude and her were FB friends for like 2 days before that only (when she asked me for a "break"). So what's up with this? She goes from crying and begging to in-relationship with new dude in 48 hours?
Frostedflake Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 It's not your business! I'd whack a mutual for sending me photos like that. For what purpose? It's just going to make you feel bad and you weren't intended to see them if her settings are private. Trying to play detective about her and this guy, when they started, and all the 'it's too soon so let me discredit the entire relationship' stuff we do- it's no good. It just sets you back from healing any sooner. Let it go and start figuring out what you want to do with your future and the type of person that you'd like to attract. If she did move on very fast- that person is not her!
doyathinkso Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 (edited) Your friend did you a huge service here. Kept you for being played for a fool! "She told me she would not like me to meet other people during the "break"." ... yeah keep mr. Plan B on the back burner while she goes out for some strange. And you know what? She was doing this back in May too. I would reckon she's been just using you from the very start. She is most definitely NOT a keeper. Consider yourself to be well rid of her. Now just go dark on her. Run silent, run deep. Block her from all contact, social media, hell even change your phone number. Should you run into her on the street and she tries to speak with you just lift an eyebrow, tilt your head and say "And you are ...?" Edited August 27, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Maldives Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 What a terrible woman dude and I thought my ex was bad. She liked and decieved u not ur fault I think the majority of men would of been fooled by her crying and pity. Her actions speak louder than her words remember that. I would say she's narcissistic even or sociopathic even. She's very deceptive and manipulative. U definitely don't want this peace of work in ur life. Let her wreck havic in someone elses. It's hard but be glad u found out and I agree ur friend did u a huge favour sending u those pictures a huge god send. Whatever u do do not let this one back in again. She cried because she can't fathom u had the strength to let her go and reject her stick with that and do not I repeat do not take her back
Reddice Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 (edited) Of course you deserve to know if you're being played! Any decent friend would let you know. Some people (both men and women) can bd extremely manipulative. Your ex seems to be one of those people. Best advice I can give is to never get in a relationship if there is no trust. Trust is the foundation, more so even than love. You cannot build any relationship (not even friend or work, let alone love relation) without trust. For now, I would recommend to avoid her like the plague. If she goes in her stalking mode again, confront her with the pictures and let her know she can shove her apologies where the sun doesn't shine. Edited August 27, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
elaine567 Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 It's not your business! I'd whack a mutual for sending me photos like that. For what purpose? It's just going to make you feel bad and you weren't intended to see them if her settings are private. Trying to play detective about her and this guy, when they started, and all the 'it's too soon so let me discredit the entire relationship' stuff we do- it's no good. It just sets you back from healing any sooner. He was on a "break" with the proviso that he does not see or date other people, ie they need time out to try to fix their relationship is the implication and you think he should have been kept in the dark when his so called gf was seeing another dude and splashing it all over fb? I get had it all been over and she had officially split up with him saying "Move on we are done", then stalking fb never does any good, but by saying she needed a break to think things over and not to see other people implies that they are not actually finished. The mutual friend did him a huge favour here. OP Basically she wanted the split and didn't want to tell to your face it was over. The crying and such is because splitting up IS sad, she is upsetting someone, even if she is the dumper, she will recognise she hurt you. But it is not sad as in "It will take me 6 years to get over you, if I ever do", no, it is more like "It is sad to hurt you, and it is sad that we are through, but an hour later I will be fine and, Mr Facebook will help me get over it..."
Marc878 Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Your X is not worth the time it took you to write your post. Move on like you should have from the start of this fiasco. 1
Author jamesh8 Posted August 27, 2017 Author Posted August 27, 2017 Yes, I can see what you guys and girls mean. She didn't even bother letting me know yet that it's officially over. Doubt she even will. I will definitely not contact her at all though. Any advice, however, on what to do in case she might still contact me sometimes in order to have "the talk"?
InAFog Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 IGNORE HER! You've already done the "talks" and that's all it was, talk. And lies and horse crap on her end. I went thru a similar situation with my ex. Broke up beginning of the year, he came crying & pleading to work things out, "really work on things". All lies. I caved, because I THOUGHT I loved him, thought I could trust him. He kept another chick on the side the whole time. These people are liars. Their words are weightless. There is no reason to have a talk.
Zahara Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I can't help but wonder if you're the same poster -- jamesha and you've created a new username with the same problem. If you are, go back and read those responses again. There should be NO MORE talking. She should be blocked and you should be grieving this and moving on. There is nothing to talk about. Otherwise, the advice still stays the same. She's the kind that keeps guys on the back burner not because she loves you but because she needs a soft landing.
Frostedflake Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 He was on a "break" with the proviso that he does not see or date other people, ie they need time out to try to fix their relationship is the implication and you think he should have been kept in the dark when his so called gf was seeing another dude and splashing it all over fb? Yeah, because people on breaks remove each other from Facebook while maintaining the intent to get back together. No they do not. Removing someone from Facebook already MEANS you're up to something, moving on, or do not want the other person involved in your dailies. Nice try though!
elaine567 Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Yeah, because people on breaks remove each other from Facebook while maintaining the intent to get back together. No they do not. Removing someone from Facebook already MEANS you're up to something, moving on, or do not want the other person involved in your dailies. Nice try though! He did not say she removed him from her FB friends list, he just said they were not FB friends.
Frostedflake Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 He did not say she removed him from her FB friends list, he just said they were not FB friends. It goes both ways. Stop reaching.
SevenCity Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Next time go with your gut. Your first reaction was the right one. She violated your trust and you ended it. You let her plead and beg her way back into your life. If a woman with whom you are in a committed relationship is sexting another guy it should be over and done with for good. For ever. Don't worry - she'll cheat on this guy too. Just be happy you are out of the mess and able to find a girl you can trust.
Maldives Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Yes, I can see what you guys and girls mean. She didn't even bother letting me know yet that it's officially over. Doubt she even will. I will definitely not contact her at all though. Any advice, however, on what to do in case she might still contact me sometimes in order to have "the talk"? Dont...that's just u hoping for some reasonable explanation from her for herbbehaviour. She's a liar she lied to u about not seeing anyone wen she was
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