swordsmen121 Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Basically a girl with a boyfriend at work has been giving me mixed signals. Saying things like how I remind her of her boyfriend. How she thinks of me when she's stressed since I guess I handle it well. She's invited me to Church plenty of times I went twice and stopped going. To be honest I'm just simply tired of her bullsh**. In my mind I think she's trying to use me as her back up and lately I've been ignoring her at work. Simply because I don't want to give her any attention to fill her ego. Now I noticed that she tries extra hard to get my attention. Like she would wave at me from far away and say my name. She comes to me and asks me how I've been. Lately, I've noticed she seems a little mad when I'm around or is ignoring me too or I guess tries to act in a way which makes me want to go up to her and say hi? (even though I didn't) She also tries not to give me any attention but everyone else would be if lets say I'm talking at a team meeting. I kind of don't want to fill her ego but at the same time I want her to come onto me even more. The reason being I tried in the beginning and she took it for granted. Do I like her? Sure if she's not being a b**** and actually tells me that she likes me instead of having me around as her back up or whatever else. Have I lost interest? It's honestly getting there since I have plenty of other women to talk to and don't let this one girl bother me. But at the same time I would like some direction in how I should handle this particular situation. Any help would be appreciated.
preraph Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I had a roommate who was capable of this type of behavior. Turns out she was both bipolar and narcissistic. She couldn't stand if she focused on someone and they didn't reciprocate. She would double down on them and then if that didn't work she'd get really mad. Here's really all you should try to remember when you think that you might like this person, and that is that if you were being with her as her boyfriend, she would be doing this exact same thing behind your back with other men. And I seriously doubt she limits at to one other man even. She just likes attention and validation which is how a lot of cheaters are. So she's really not worth you trying to mold this into something real.
Sweetfish Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I had a roommate who was capable of this type of behavior. Turns out she was both bipolar and narcissistic. She couldn't stand if she focused on someone and they didn't reciprocate. She would double down on them and then if that didn't work she'd get really mad. Here's really all you should try to remember when you think that you might like this person, and that is that if you were being with her as her boyfriend, she would be doing this exact same thing behind your back with other men. And I seriously doubt she limits at to one other man even. She just likes attention and validation which is how a lot of cheaters are. So she's really not worth you trying to mold this into something real. Sounds like Histronic disorder... its in the same class of naracissim. Sucks because the person is fine until they crave attention or get noticed. It has the illusion of bipolar disorder as it works in cycles...
Pete.Zah Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I think that you should be nice to her which means tell her she's important to you and you think she's a really sweet person. There's nothing wrong with adding another friend to your list of friends. If people would treat others like they want to be treated, what's wrong with that? Look at it from what's in it for her, not what's in it for you. Don't become a doormat, but people will come around when they know they can trust you.
knabe Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 (edited) If she has a boyfriend, she's not really an option anyway. [] OP, if she's sending signals and has a boyfriend, she's not good people. Edited October 11, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Unnecessary
Miss Spider Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 (edited) Seriously it sounds like a person who was just being nice and backed off when they started getting the cold shoulder. Edited August 28, 2017 by Cookiesandough
preraph Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 Sounds like Histronic disorder... its in the same class of naracissim. Sucks because the person is fine until they crave attention or get noticed. It has the illusion of bipolar disorder as it works in cycles... She was bipolar and narcissistic. She was in therapy for years and got diagnosed. Lots of symptoms cross over to other things. 1
dispatch3d Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Yeah I realize people with mental disorders exists, but mental disorders get thrown around casually or people make these huge conclusions off nothing a lot. There was another thread where I guy said he drank and the girl was worried he's an alcoholic, another one I read was from the guys point of view and he said he played video games (80%+ guys play video games) and the girl concluded he's obsessed with them an undatable. I just think a lot of extremes get thrown around and thats probably what the other guy was referencing. Just continue to back off from her and be more professional around her, she'll get the hint eventually. You're probably naturally reading into what she does more than you should be because you have a crush.
Sweetfish Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Yeah I realize people with mental disorders exists, but mental disorders get thrown around casually or people make these huge conclusions off nothing a lot. There was another thread where I guy said he drank and the girl was worried he's an alcoholic, another one I read was from the guys point of view and he said he played video games (80%+ guys play video games) and the girl concluded he's obsessed with them an undatable. I just think a lot of extremes get thrown around and thats probably what the other guy was referencing. Just continue to back off from her and be more professional around her, she'll get the hint eventually. You're probably naturally reading into what she does more than you should be because you have a crush. Thing get thrown around...but some people with experience (years) can see things clear as day because we have experience. No one here has ever told anyone to take X pills or prescribe anything to anyone.. the reader should be intelligent enough to seek the proper advice..yet people tell other members to do things which may require legal advice with no issues what so ever that are life changimg and some times the poster is with holding info or give us half stories. A member here had a wife who was misdiagonsed by a doctor and I believe me and downtown pinpointed what she may really have and she was found to be what we both said she had. Yes.. disorders are no joke... but maybe people need to stop assuming these individuals are broken and just have very reactive coping mechanisms and many times you've seen members here who want to commit suicide (which I have operated on a suicide hotline) and you can tell the partner is maybe a narc or borderline and when they reharsh the relationship they see the ques and they can start the healing processes. Anything anyone says... you should do your own research
alphamale Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Any help would be appreciated. tell her to dump her boyfriend and see what she says/does
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