Bliss09 Posted August 26, 2017 Posted August 26, 2017 I've taken a long break from this forum. Putting much of your advice into action. And boy did it WORK. I'm a little over a year post break up, and god I feel great. You all know what I'm talking about. You finally accomplished some goals, lost some weight, got in shape, and are feeling on top of the world. I'm casually dating as of the last four months. And while it is nothing serious so far, getting back out there has made a world of difference. That being said, I took your guys advice about NC with me ex. And I can say that I am completely free, and have not spoken to her for over 8 months. Though, she still continues to try to reach out every 1-2 months. I just have not responded. I'm looking for some advice on when a good time to make the transition to friends is, and if anyone would advise against it. Her and I share mutual friends, and after I decided to come out of hiding I have been spending more time with them over the last 4 months than I ever was before. One of my other ex's is also in this friend group, and her and I have a good friendship. My most recent ex clearly has a problem with this, as she doesn't understand my friendship with one ex, and no another. I can't explain it either. Other than the ex I am close with knew we were never going to spend forever together, as did I. I have been fortunate enough not to run into the most recent ex on my nights out with friends, however she is making an effort to be around more, so i have a feeling my time is running short. Is it better to let this interaction occur naturally? Or should I be proactive and ask to meet for coffee to chat beforehand (at the risk of making her new partner angry?) is it odd I just have no desire to be friends, but feel the need to limit awkwardness for our mutual friends? Has anyone been in this spot before? What did you do?
preraph Posted August 26, 2017 Posted August 26, 2017 If she's still contacting you even though you have shut her down, then she is not ready to "just be friends" and probably never will be. Just because you would be able to doesn't mean she will. She will probably SAY she is just for contact, but then she will obstruct you from dating around and make people think you're still together and you are taken and also just continue to be a problem. And I say that based on the fact she isn't respecting your wish for no contact. That's disrespect. You need to avoid her.
Reddice Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I think maybe a phone call would not be a bad idea, where you have some small talk an then explain that friendship is completely out of the question + this is the last time you'll speak to her. Sometimes you just have to be as blunt as possible to get it into her thick skull.
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