BaileyB Posted August 26, 2017 Posted August 26, 2017 I'm a woman. And every time I like a guy or get close to a guy or go out with a guy, the guy always move on quicker, like a week later quicker. I was much thinner in this relationship than I ever was in any relationship. I thought if I were small, it would make him more likely to stay. Unfortunately, not even being tiny would make him stay. In fact, he hated me getting smaller when most other guys seem to appreciate it. I'm annoyed because this seems to happen every time. We've talked about this... Losing weight will not make a man stay. This man was abusive and you were lucky to get away from him.
Ami1uwant Posted August 26, 2017 Posted August 26, 2017 How much time it takes to move on depends alot on the situation. Some (both mean and women) will stay dating until someone comes around who seems better to date and quickly break up with one and start to date the other. He likely didnt love you as much as you loved him. Hard to say why without knowing what the issues were in the relationship. Why did these breaks happen? What were your fights about? AS you said you lost weight. How is he in terms of looks body size? He may have neded it because he was concerned you would leave him for someone else or if he was a bit overweight, you could be a nag on him to lose weight that he didnt like.
Ami1uwant Posted August 26, 2017 Posted August 26, 2017 (edited) That I understand, I was just saying men start *looking* immediately. Women - rarely. I dated a dude that was super mean to me for couple of years and still took full 9 months before even dreaming about going on a date with someone else. when I was late teens and 20s I always remember women only leave a man when another one comes along that they thought was better. Men can be fine alone, with some women they feel they arent whole unless they have someone they are dating. I'm a woman. And every time I like a guy or get close to a guy or go out with a guy, the guy always move on quicker, like a week later quicker. I was much thinner in this relationship than I ever was in any relationship. I thought if I were small, it would make him more likely to stay. Unfortunately, not even being tiny would make him stay. In fact, he hated me getting smaller when most other guys seem to appreciate it. I'm annoyed because this seems to happen every time. You losing weight was likely not an issue in this breakup. As you are saying you get close to guys then they back off....what are YOU doing? You may think you are nice and sweet but come off to guys as [unattractive]. Edited August 27, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language
act00 Posted August 26, 2017 Posted August 26, 2017 I don't know that any gender rebounds faster than the other. The "dumper" is going to date sooner because they checked out on the relationship a long time ago and have already processed the loss and is moving on. The dumpee is new and fresh to this new set of circumstances and hasn't even started the process of letting it go because they just found out. Men have a greater capacity to get involved with a woman without the emotions. Just sex, just superficial. Women tend to be more emotional and more attached, so there is a difference in the genders and how we're built and what our thought processes are.
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 27, 2017 Author Posted August 27, 2017 How much time it takes to move on depends alot on the situation. Some (both mean and women) will stay dating until someone comes around who seems better to date and quickly break up with one and start to date the other. He likely didnt love you as much as you loved him. Hard to say why without knowing what the issues were in the relationship. Why did these breaks happen? What were your fights about? AS you said you lost weight. How is he in terms of looks body size? He may have neded it because he was concerned you would leave him for someone else or if he was a bit overweight, you could be a nag on him to lose weight that he didn't like. He's petite just like i am
whatnot Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 you have no idea what's happening. He may be thinking he's finally met the woman of his dreams....then the man could call you in 6 mos. after seeing that his new thing isn't all that. He could be posting these pics to make you jealous. To make you feel bad. Most relationships that begin this shortly after a breakup rarely last. (If that makes you feel any better). There's more to you than how much you weigh. It's an inside job. (think....inside out...not....outside in...) Take care...
Maldives Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Not true I take yrs to get over someone even if I rebounded believe me I'm still hurting and th8nking of her.
Maldives Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 It baffles me how people rebound so fast. Even when I've been the dumper I'll keep thinking about my ex in the next months at very least, if not years. Not thinking how to get back with them, but thinking about them - definitely. And this makes it really hard to rebound. They don't, they rebound to fill a void a bandaid over the void left after the breakup
Maldives Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Btw i been in this situation where I went out wth a girl for 2 mths but the spark wasn't there for me and I left them shortly after met someone who I really connected wth I think this is wats happened here. Having said that I been dumped more times than being a dumper. I just think as hard as this is to hear the connection wasn't there for him wth u and he left. That doesn't mean ur worthless it's just means it didn't happen for him. He is a jerk the way he's gone about it though the pin call then the photos on fb not a very nice guy
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 27, 2017 Author Posted August 27, 2017 Btw I been in this situation where I went out with a girl for two mths but the spark wasn't there for me, and I left them shortly after met someone who I connected with I think this is whats happened here. Having said that I been dumped more times than being a dumper. I just think as hard as this is to hear the connection wasn't there for him with you and he left. That doesn't mean ur worthless it just means it didn't happen for him. He is a jerk the way he's gone about it though the pin call then the photos on FB, not a very nice guy I cannot help but blame myself. I'm thinking of all the things I could have done to spark that connection. With most guys I've dated, they just move on with someone else in no time at all, and I'm left to pick up the pieces. There seems to be a history. My flick response is to go to the gym even more for some reason. I've been once today; I have an impulse to go again. I was a great girlfriend to him. I was so loyal. Even if he were having a bad day, I'd do whatever it took to prove to him I was supportive. I didn't expect him to end it all in a phone call.
whatnot Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Not true I take yrs to get over someone even if I rebounded believe me I'm still hurting and th8nking of her.that's what i'm telling the OP. She doesn't know what's going on. She's only seeing what's he's showing a couple of weeks after a break up. what she's seeing means little. 1
Maldives Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I cannot help but blame myself. I'm thinking of all the things I could have done to spark that connection. With most guys I've dated, they just move on with someone else in no time at all, and I'm left to pick up the pieces. There seems to be a history. My flick response is to go to the gym even more for some reason. I've been once today; I have an impulse to go again. I was a great girlfriend to him. I was so loyal. Even if he were having a bad day, I'd do whatever it took to prove to him I was supportive. I didn't expect him to end it all in a phone call. I think that says it all it's not anything youve done trust me. Ok I'll try and explain that connection in my situation. Physically even tho the girl was beautiful in her own way she didn't do it for me sexually. Great company but Its very hard to explain maybe on a soul level she just didn't connect wth me. It's not anything you've done or haven't done believe me. The history thing tho that's something to look into maybe wth a therapist because I too attract certain situations in the end that a similar and they leave after a few yrs same scenario. In my case I'm learning the even though sometimes I'm unhappy I stay because I'm loyal I mean if I'm in love but it's at my own expense and then what ends up happening is my partner sees for what it is a situation that's not moving forward or not really happy and they leave wen really it should of been me yrs before and hence the pattern repeats that's been a God send for me to learn and I got that from counselling try and dig down to the bottom of that o believe wen ur aware of wat it is u can then have the awareness to break that cycle good luck sweetie and btw I dream of finding a woman wth ur qualities I really do
Frostedflake Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 I'm a woman. And every time I like a guy or get close to a guy or go out with a guy, the guy always move on quicker, like a week later quicker. I was much thinner in this relationship than I ever was in any relationship. I thought if I were small, it would make him more likely to stay. Unfortunately, not even being tiny would make him stay. In fact, he hated me getting smaller when most other guys seem to appreciate it. I'm annoyed because this seems to happen every time. It still has nothing to do with stereotypes and generalizations. My ex wife admitted to being more attracted to me when I was a string bean than when I started going to the gym. She liked that guppy/business guy look and I had to really think about why. As it turns out, being superficial is not confined to either gender. She thought it made her look better socially than me being muscular because then I didn't reflect a good career and people always think meatheads are stupid, right? "I pick things up and I put them down!" You may have a trend but that's because you are picking them. Reflect on where you are meeting these guys, how your relationships are starting out (is it immediately physical? Do you pick each others minds?) There you will find the true underlying issue.
MarvelFan1 Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Like the OP, I treated my ex with so much love, respect and worshiped the ground she walked on. I did her dinner, surprises and treated her like a queen. However, in the end, I had to become the dumper, as she wasn't being nice to me and was always making me apologie over any little thing, always spoiling for an argument just to make up, I couldn't live like that, and fell out of love. Almost 4 months later, I still haven't moved on and I miss her so much, I doubt it's love I feel. I hear from a third party that she is back on the dating scene, and that hurts me a bit as I can't even get that far yet... I wonder if it's a rebound or looking for someone to repair her bruised ego because of the split. Either way, men or dumpers do not move on that quickly, speaking for myself.
Reddice Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Well actually, from a scientific point of view, women have more pain after the breakup (or so it seems). However, men generally take longer to get over a breakup. There are cases where it took men decades to get over exes they truly loved. It apparently has to do with how we're wired. Women are more in touch with their emotions, which helps them approach it in a more constructive manner. Big outbursts and a lot of talking with friends in the beginning and then settling down. Men are a little less in touch with their emotions and many times do not know how to handle the situation. They are less likely to face their emotions, which can lead them to a destructive path. They will also fake it for the outside world. There are also some biological aspects involved, but I don't know all the details. If you are interested in this subject, I suggest you Google it. There are tons of websites which can confirm this. So to answer the original question: No, men actually take more time to get over a breakup.
SevenCity Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Well actually, from a scientific point of view, women have more pain after the breakup (or so it seems). However, men generally take longer to get over a breakup. There are cases where it took men decades to get over exes they truly loved. It apparently has to do with how we're wired. Women are more in touch with their emotions, which helps them approach it in a more constructive manner. Big outbursts and a lot of talking with friends in the beginning and then settling down. Men are a little less in touch with their emotions and many times do not know how to handle the situation. They are less likely to face their emotions, which can lead them to a destructive path. They will also fake it for the outside world. There are also some biological aspects involved, but I don't know all the details. If you are interested in this subject, I suggest you Google it. There are tons of websites which can confirm this. So to answer the original question: No, men actually take more time to get over a breakup. True. However, it should be noted that women are typically the dumpers / divorce initiators. That said, they move on quicker because they have already moved on. It took me 2 years to get over a girl I dated for 1 year. My ex that bought me here was 7 years and I'm just now starting to get over it a year later. That hasn't stopped me from dating or having other relationships. Just because someone is with someone else doesn't mean they are over their ex. Further, I've found women are able to deal with breakups easier than men. They know when they are "ready", there will be hundreds of guys lining up to fill the position. Ask any girl in OLD. Guys, on the other hand, have a much harder time finding women. Ask any guy how many times he's been rejected. Moreover, it's even more difficult to find a woman with whom you want to enter a relationship. I am lucky and haven't had issues finding girls or sex (a lot of rejection along the way) but a year later and I haven't found one I wanted to date longer than 3 months. The pain a guy goes through when a woman who he REALLY loves leaves him can fundamentally change you as a person. It's something that takes years to get past it - if ever. 2
usa1ah Posted August 27, 2017 Posted August 27, 2017 Daisy, keep working on you for yourself. You are better off with out someone like him. It depends on the person as to how fast that start dating again. You were looking for long term where as he was just in the moment. You will find someone
alphamale Posted August 28, 2017 Posted August 28, 2017 I've read studies that go both ways. Some state that women move on quicker after a split and others state that men do. attractive people of both sexes find it much easier to move on after a relationship.
alphamale Posted August 29, 2017 Posted August 29, 2017 Men (and women) who move on easily are those who... ...are good looking
RightHand Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 ...are good looking True, my ex looks like she forget about me just one month after breakup. May I ask why ?
Chilli Posted August 30, 2017 Posted August 30, 2017 Ha , there was a thread somewhere in here a wk or two ago saying women move on quicker. And some people wonder why l joke about all the crap on the net, Really, l think it basically comes down to usually one , either one , ends up moving on quicker and one doesn't.
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