Best Age to have kids if your Male

[Mysterio]

So no matter what age you are. What age do you think is the maximum age as a man, to have kids. Is having kids over 50 bad. 60 even. What if you never met a great lady and had kids.

 

Women can only have kids up to Mid 40's at the most. Maybe 50 at the max if they are still fertile, but it all depends on the eggs they have in their body.

 

My Uncle had kids from age 38 to 52 and stayed alive till he was 79. His wife was 16 yrs younger though.

 

I have heard that is irresponsible to have kids after 50 if your a man. Due to the fact that you may not be around for that kids entire life. Looking at mortality rates. For the most part. It looks like Men will make it to 80 and women to 90. Even then. People age at different rates.

 

Whats your take.

[No_Go]

It's not wrong to have kids late but genetic factor should be taken into consideration.

 

If I were a healthy man in my 50s or 60s, I'd go for it but the in vitro route. So doing prescreen of the embryos. And then I'd consider having strong financial back up in case my longevity is under the expected.

 

 

So no matter what age you are. What age do you think is the maximum age as a man, to have kids. Is having kids over 50 bad. 60 even. What if you never met a great lady and had kids.

 

Women can only have kids up to Mid 40's at the most. Maybe 50 at the max if they are still fertile, but it all depends on the eggs they have in their body.

 

My Uncle had kids from age 38 to 52 and stayed alive till he was 79. His wife was 16 yrs younger though.

 

I have heard that is irresponsible to have kids after 50 if your a man. Due to the fact that you may not be around for that kids entire life. Looking at mortality rates. For the most part. It looks like Men will make it to 80 and women to 90. Even then. People age at different rates.

 

Whats your take.

[Mysterio]

As one gets older. Timelines are in question. One can't get a loan for a house at 60 when they are going to retire and they did not save for a house. Than someone at 30 or so who has 10 yrs of working at the same job.

 

So its not that I want to be a father at 50/60. Its just that I want to know when I should actually consider the big V.

 

If I am going to be a father its going to be early 50's at best. If I am 60 its the big V.

[Shanex]

I've sort of imposed myself an ultimatum about children and if I don't have any before 40, would give it up. Not because of genetic factors but instead due to the age gap between me and my own children. I consider myself already 'out of the loop' when I see teenagers these days, and thinking I could be one of their dad makes me wonder my ability to have kids.

[Miss Spider]

My mom had me well into her 40s and my dad in his 30s and I turned out just fine(for the most part )! Growing up I never felt like mom wasn't like the young moms or anything because my mom was always very hip and she still is to this day. The sad part though is that I am in my 20s she is almost 70. She's a very healthy, active, young 70, but I do wish sometimes that I had longer with her. But we always wish that? Same with my dad.

[CptInsano]

My mom had me well into her 40s and my dad in his 30s and I turned out just fine(for the most part )! Growing up I never felt like mom wasn't like the young moms or anything because my mom was always very hip and she still is to this day. The sad part though is that I am in my 20s she is almost 70. She's a very healthy, active, young 70, but I do wish sometimes that I had longer with her. But we always wish that? Same with my dad.

 

I'm very grateful that my parents had me when they were young. My mom was just 22 and my dad 26. My mom was a gymnastics coach and my dad a competitive swimmer. I remember all the hiking, mountain climbing, kayaking, and other physical activities that sometimes seemed like torture I have come to appreciate. Same with all the parties that my parents had at our house, the huge circle of friends that taught me to reach out, experiment, be social and unafraid.

 

As weird as my parents were in many other regards, I really have to thank them for having me early on.

[JohnAdams]

I would not want to have children over 40. Do the math if you have a child at 40, if you are lucky they will be gone by the time you are 65. When do you want to retire? Children are very expensive, more so than you may think. They get more expensive as they get older. Paying for college and possibly helping them set up a household or pay for a marriage or divorce. I have seen several men who have children in their 40's. I think can you do the math?

 

We had both of our children when we were young. This allowed us to be empty nesters at an early age. We paid for our children's education, marriage and one divorce and gave pretty extensive help as they set up their own homes. We were able to travel extensively, and I am able to retire debt free and in in good shape at the end of this year.

[thefooloftheyear]

Agree with the other guys....

 

Id even go as far as saying 35ish is the end of the road...And that goes for men and women as far as I am concerned...

 

There are a number of reasons and they aren't all about biology...One of the main reasons is that most people tend to slow down somewhere in their 40's...When you have kids, there is no slowing down...They need you to be all in all the time..Kids are not only an enormous responsibility, they are an enormous expense...Its something every single day...

 

My brother and SIL had an "oops" kid when they were both mid 40s...While they would never admit it, I can see the angst on their faces at times. as he is a pretty hyperactive kid...My SIL, especially...She admittedly doesn't have the stamina for this and gets frustrated very easily...Just think about paying for college when they are in their mid 60's...crazy..

 

I am a very youthful, fit and capable guy for my age, and while I adore my daughter, I wish I didn't wait til I was 37 to have her..

 

TFY

Edited August 26, 2017 by thefooloftheyear

[basil67]

Age 40 was my husband's personal time limit. We had one when he was 39 and the other when he was 41

[Els]

I'd say 40. For the factors you and TFY mentioned (although I do think that if you have enough $$ saved up, it would probably be easier for a well-to-do 40-yo to cope with said kids than a broke 20-yo working 2 jobs to make ends meet), as well as the fact that genetic defects in sperm really start adding up after that age.

 

If I did have kids, I wouldn't personally have them after 40, and I wouldn't want to have kids with a man significantly older than that either.

 

My parents had me in their early 30s, I think they did just fine. They were financially stable, we had a decent house to live in, ergo I had a much better childhood than most of my friends whose parents were in their early 20s or younger.

[Art_Critic]

I was 45 when my Son was born and my wife was near 40.

I wouldn't change a thing.. the hard part about parenting when you are my age however is just the physical side of it all..

When I would get home after a hard days work I would open the door and hear "Daddy".. so I was on for another 5-6 hrs... then rest.

 

Something to remember is that there are no guarantees in life.

 

My Father passed when I was young, I was in my early young 20's BUT he had me when he was young.. he was in his 20's when he started having kids..

 

I would say 45-48 is the cut off for a male..if he is to be present in his child's upbringing that is.

I help coach his Baseball team, help lead his Cub Scout Den, active in his Schooling and many other items that if I was older than 50 when he was born I most likely might not have been able to do or might not have felt like doing.

[Miss Spider]

I was 45 when my Son was born and my wife was near 40.

I wouldn't change a thing.. the hard part about parenting when you are my age however is just the physical side of it all..

When I would get home after a hard days work I would open the door and hear "Daddy".. so I was on for another 5-6 hrs... then rest.

 

Something to remember is that there are no guarantees in life.

 

My Father passed when I was young, I was in my early young 20's BUT he had me when he was young.. he was in his 20's when he started having kids..

 

I would say 45-48 is the cut off for a male..if he is to be present in his child's upbringing that is.

I help coach his Baseball team, help lead his Cub Scout Den, active in his Schooling and many other items that if I was older than 50 when he was born I most likely might not have been able to do or might not have felt like doing.

 

Completely agree!

[Art_Critic]

I have seen several men who have children in their 40's. I think can you do the math?

 

I think I can, thanks for the Judgements though...my Dad died while I was in my 20's and it had nothing to do when he started having kids.

BTW, I have known more people who die right after retirement and never get to enjoy it...one just recently who was 9 months into retirement and died of a heart attack getting ready to go fishing.

 

Life is short, too short to make judgements like that..

 

I think anytime is a good time to have kids, but think when a male nears their 50's it's harder to physically do the things a little one requires, as of now I haven't had any issues being present and accounted for in his life and I work a 55 hour work week as well.

[thefooloftheyear]

While I have my own opinions,. I do respect others and how they chose to do it...

 

I remember there was a guy that worked for me, I had just hired him on, he was around 60 years old at the time...He comes in with a his daughter, maybe 10 years old...Like an idiot, I thought she was his grand daughter...I felt horrible, even though he laughed it off ans says "it happens all the time"...I dunno.,..That kinda stuff would probably bother me...

 

The other thing is I have had a pretty hard life...Worked VERY hard to get where I am..practically all of the people my age have kids that are out of college or nearing that time...They can "rest" a bit now and look forward to an easy retirement.....For some, it won't be like that at all..You have to be there for them...your life is not your own....

 

Here is something else to consider...I have a client that is in his early 60's..His wife divorced him out of the blue a few years ago, and has two kids 12 and 14...He was at retirement age, and now has to start a new life and pay child support...he confided in me that he really doesn't know how he's going to do it, and doesn't have the energy or resources..I don't think anyone anticipates a divorce when conceiving kids, but it certainly worth consideration when you get advanced in age.....

 

TFY

[Art_Critic]

Here is something else to consider...I have a client that is in his early 60's..His wife divorced him out of the blue a few years ago, and has two kids 12 and 14...He was at retirement age, and now has to start a new life and pay child support...he confided in me that he really doesn't know how he's going to do it, and doesn't have the energy or resources..I don't think anyone anticipates a divorce when conceiving kids, but it certainly worth consideration when you get advanced in age.....

 

TFY

 

Now that is a interesting point... one I never thought of...

[Mysterio]

I would not want to have children over 40. Do the math if you have a child at 40, if you are lucky they will be gone by the time you are 65. When do you want to retire? Children are very expensive, more so than you may think. They get more expensive as they get older. Paying for college and possibly helping them set up a household or pay for a marriage or divorce. I have seen several men who have children in their 40's. I think can you do the math?

 

We had both of our children when we were young. This allowed us to be empty nesters at an early age. We paid for our children's education, marriage and one divorce and gave pretty extensive help as they set up their own homes. We were able to travel extensively, and I am able to retire debt free and in in good shape at the end of this year.

 

John. You lucked. No matter what. You really Lucked out. My friend DT is 41 turning 42 in the fall. He just had his second child in Feb. He thinks he is going to retire at 60. I say 66 is when the little kids will be out of the house. He has 2 Step kids as well. So the household is 2 teenagers/3 dogs/2 todlers and his GF-her name is CF. So he constantly has people around him so to speak. I would never trade places with him. usually you would think when you get towards 50 your life quiets down. Also, CF still needs to get divorced from her ex. So there is that problem.

 

I think that we are basically can project that by 80-90 we are out. So if you have kids at 60. You can be out by late 80's. Todays generation that were born in the 1950's to 1990. We have a lot of fitness and can watch what we eat with Fitbits and other toys. Baring illness and accidents. We can really stay active. My friends parents in Idaho are bassically late 60's and they seem like young Grandparents.

 

Getting older today is not as in the grave as one might think.

 

At age 46. I got to really think about a Vasectomy. Do I really want one. If I met the right woman. Do I deprive her of having at least one bio child between us. For me the reason I don't have kids is because. I never was involved long enough with a woman to make one. I never had un protected sex off the bat with a woman. I am hyper careful. I doubt now that I would have a kid out of wedlock at my age. So age 60 is my cut off. I don't know if I would go any farther than that. Its a hard choice. Meaning my wife would have to be early 40's to have a kid with me.

 

If I do meet a woman today. I guess I would have to fast track a kid by yr 2 or 3.

[GoodOnPaper]

I had my kids - both in high school now - at ages 31 and 34. I would not have wanted to wait much longer. I already feel old and a little jealous when I realize that when my parents were my current age, my sister and I were out of the house.

 

In your situation, I would be very hesitant about an immediate vasectomy. If/when you get into an LTR, see if there is any chance she wants kids - if not, then make the doctor's appointment.

[Mysterio]

For sure if she does not want kids. I will get a Vasectomy. No question about it. I also don't want to bring kids into the world, if we can't guide the kids to a better life. I just don't want to just hug and kiss/feed/clothe them and thats it.

 

If I have a kid. I will be a very active part in their life. There will be no skipping school or they get into drugs or have kids out of wedlock. I will star at an early age. They have till Grade 1 to be kids. After that. Its the real world.

[Shepp]

I'm 23 and a father of twin boys and a little girl. I love being a young dad, i wouldnt have it any other way. I want to be young enough to coach the football team, play rugby with them, teach them to surf, travel with the kids.

 

But that is a personal choice thing.

 

For me i wouldn't want more kids past 35, but i think in general 40 is probably a fair-ish cut off.

 

Something to remember is that there are no guarantees in life.

 

My Father passed when I was young, I was in my early young 20's BUT he had me when he was young.. he was in his 20's when he started having kids..

Very true!

[TheFinalWord]

My personal opinion is there is not exact age limit.

 

There are too many variables to consider.

 

Many people have this mental construct that you work 30 years, 9-5, have kids young, and two cats in the backyard. Anything outside of that, is not ideal. That idea of the American dream is long gone for most Generation X's as myself in the white collar world (those jobs that come out of the college Babyboomers paid into). Most people in Generation X (my generation) will have 10 different careers, probably re-locate, but have a career that is much more autonomous and values work-life balance. It almost makes sense to wait until you're older and have more stability and income before having children.

 

Personally, I do not know if I want children. Most days I feel this world is too risky to bring a child into; then other days, I play with my nieces and nephews and the biological drive for kids kicks in and I imagine having 10 lol

 

For now, my dogs satisfy that need lol I guess if I met the right person that I could imagine having children with, I would take the leap. Age would be the last thing on my mind.

[Shanex]

Some valid points TFW.

 

There's nothing wrong with being 'undecided' about children. It is what it is. While I respect other people's decision to have a vasectomy, that's a thin line I will never cross.

 

Having children can become quite a challenge especially past 35, and you've got to be yourself of good health before even thinking of raising them in the best condition financially speaking.

 

Like TheFinalWord, I too love to play with little cousins and of course find them adorable, like other friends children, but do I want to bring a child into this world? I used to be in the 'undecided leaning toward yes' camp, now that I'm well into my 30s, I have switched to no. But nothing is set in stones, right?

[JuneJulySeptember]

 

I have heard that is irresponsible to have kids after 50 if your a man. Due to the fact that you may not be around for that kids entire life. Looking at mortality rates. For the most part. It looks like Men will make it to 80 and women to 90. Even then. People age at different rates.

 

Whats your take.

 

Like someone else said, there's no guarantees.

 

And whomever I decided to have a child with will be a very responsible mother if I die. That is pretty certain. She'll make it work. Many kids come into this world with much, much less.

 

One thing I have been thinking of is after a certain point and I still want to have kids, I will strongly consider adoption.

 

For instance, if I am 46 and decide strongly that I wish I had kids, I'd try and adopt a 7 year old. Most people DON'T want those kids. But for me, it sounds perfect. Very little of what my friends go through in terms of dealing with babies and toddlers seems appealing to me.

 

However, teaching a child to play baseball and the piano and heaping all of my BS moral crap on them does...

 

In terms of the real answer to your question, the answer is probably early 30s. That way you had enough front time in your 20s and early 30s to party, have fun and hang out ... and are still young enough to do a whole bunch of stuff when the kids (hopefully) get out of the house at ~ age 50.

Edited August 27, 2017 by JuneJulySeptember

[Mrs. John Adams]

I am not a man but I wanted to chime in with something. Our daughter married and had 2 children and moved back home and we raised those two children for many years. We were in our 40s. She remarried a man 9 years her senior and had a son. My sil is 47 years old and has a 9 year old autistic son. He will probably never be able to retire. None of us regret their decision to have a child but I know they never anticipated what has happened.

[Eternal Sunshine]

My parents had me when they were in early 20s and I love all the active holidays we took. I was 18th on my mum's 40th bday and sometimes people thought we were sisters

 

I don't want children but if I did, my limit would be 40 for both men and women. Even though men can biologically have children when they are much older, I think everything has its natural order. Pushing 50 with a newborn just doesn't seem right for many reasons.

 

Now cats and dogs, you can have at any age

[GunslingerRoland]

Sorry, not a big fan of the trend of grand parent aged parents.

 

I think the more generations there are between you and your kids the harder it is to relate to them. Most young parents I know tend to be much more active with their kids, whereas the older parents just don't have the energy or desire to do much with their kids.

 

And if you have kids in your 50's their are really high odds that your child will lose their parent before having their own kids, getting married, and decent odds that they might not even finish high school. If you live longer that means they become a caretaker for you as their aging parent at a younger age.